I started this journey a very obese 266 pounds on a small 5'4 frame, so out of shape my legs ached when I walked. Walking up one flight of stairs would wind me and god forbid if I had to tie my shoes. Clothes shopping was devastating because I couldn't reconcile that I had to buy a size 16, 18, 20, 22, 24.... And dating? All the normal activities of a woman in her twenties? My couch was more often than not my Friday/Saturday night date. I was very sad and very lonely but I couldn't deal ...

I started this journey a very obese 266 pounds on a small 5'4 frame, so out of shape my legs ached when I walked. Walking up one flight of stairs would wind me and god forbid if I had to tie my shoes. Clothes shopping was devastating because I couldn't reconcile that I had to buy a size 16, 18, 20, 22, 24.... And dating? All the normal activities of a woman in her twenties? My couch was more often than not my Friday/Saturday night date. I was very sad and very lonely but I couldn't deal with it so I found my comfort in food. And food was my best friend, my comfort, my lover, my happiness. A couple of times I decided I had to lose weight and would exercise sporadically and lose 30 pounds, gain 10 back, lose 20, gain 5 back. I was 250 when I joined Sparkpeople.

The initial catalyst that started to change my life was my brother's wedding. It was November 2005 and the wedding was in April 2006. I was going to do a reading at the wedding and the thought of standing in front of a room and all those eyes on me made me sick to my stomach. But I had to do it, I couldn't call in fat, this was my big brother's wedding!

I had also joined a gym months before that and had gone sporadically and then not at all for 2 months. I received a card in the mail that said we miss you, here's 2 free personal training sessions. I tucked it in my gym bag, where it stayed for weeks, until I finally went to the gym. After my work-out I brought it to the desk and met Jim who would become my personal trainer, cheerleader and friend. We had our first two sessions, which were humiliating for me because I was so out of shape but I decided to stick with it with dreams of a cute dress for my brother's wedding in my head. 5 months later I had lost 30 pounds and was determined to lose more.

I eventually lost 55 more pounds and 45 inches and was able to maintain the weight loss for a year but I started putting myself second, stopped exercising and started overeating again. I ended up regaining all but 16 pounds of the weight I had lost.

In December 2011 I moved to a new city. I had a new job and it was a great time to start to focus on myself again and make healthy choices and recommit to a healthy lifestyle. I joined a fantastic gym and started working out with an amazing trainer. I’ve lost 38 pounds to date but as equally important, improved my endurance and strength, lost inches, reduced stress and anxiety and increased my confidence. I’ve run a 5K and am doing more in the future. I now make exercise a priority and I work really hard to stay within my calorie range.

I have amazing cheerleaders who motivate and inspire me and kick my butt when it is needed. I now understand that this is a journey. You cannot be "perfect" all the time but I am a lot happier when I don't eat processed foods and I am exercising. You have to keep going, never give up and remember that tomorrow is a new day. The important thing is not to strive for perfection but to strive for balance and progress.

I’ve realized that this is a journey, not a destination, and what makes us stronger are the struggles along the way.

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