Getting ready for wedding...
Wedding Day Photo!
Wedding Day Photo!
Shared Food & Fitness Trackers
I have struggled with my weight my entire adult life.
I wish I was one of those people who ate to live, would "forget" meals because they weren't important, and had the self discipline to eat well - all the time.
I wish I loved to exercise. I wish I enjoyed running on a daily basis, and was involved in 101 activities - constantly on the go.
I wish I was thin and pretty and fit.
But, I am not one of those people.
I love food. I love the taste of food. Food makes me happy and is a source of comfort and joy. I love feeding people - bringing them joy. I love being surrounded by loved ones at a dinner table, laughing, enjoying a well prepared meal, and making memories.
I dislike exercise. I have to talk myself into running every time I go. It becomes a guilt/self-loathing cycle. I tell myself I'm going to go for a run. I plan for it. I pack a bag. When it comes time to go, I end up talking myself out of it. Then I beat myself up the entire time for not going - for being lazy and pathetic. I feel guilty. I loathe myself.
When I do go, I feel so proud of myself and so good. But that "high" doesn't always carry me through to the next work out, and eventually the guilt/self-loathing cycle plays again.
I want to enjoy going for a run, and NOT feel guilty if I don't go. I want to do something active without feeling like it's a chore, without feeling like it's exercise.
I've tried various diet changes: weight watchers, South Beach, 17 Day Diet, counting calories, etc.
I am sure they would have all worked if I had been able to stick with them. But, I was unable to stick to the plans. I was unable to make them part of my lifestyle.
So, as a last resort - I went to a medical weight loss clinic. I am working with a doctor and a nutritionist. And I am seeing results. People are noticing. And I am determined to make this my lifestyle.
I may not ever lose my love of food or the joy it brings to my life. I may not ever find a physical activity that I enjoy that doesn't feel like exercise. But, I have got to keep trying. I have to find something that I can do. And I have to do it. And keep at it.
And eventually...it will work. It will click. And I will reach my goals.
Until then, I am taking it one day at a time.
1. First Goal Weight: 150
2. Second Goal Weight: 140
3. Third Goal Weight: 130 (ULTIMATE GOAL)
1. First weight = 180 (Achieved!)
2. Second weight = 170 (Achieved!)
3. Third weight = 160 (out of the "obese" BMI range finally! - Achieved!)
**NOTE - as of 04.12.13 I have officially lost over 10% of my body weight (since 02.25.13) and have finally gotten below 160 lbs!**
4. Fourth weight = 150 (Achieved June, 2013; Maintained until December, 2013)
5. Fifth weight = 140
6. Sixth weight = 130 (out of the "overweight" BMI range!!!)
7. Walk/run for 20 minutes at least 5 days/week; Increase to goal of 60 minutes of fitness/day (5x/wk)
8. Beat my PRs for 5Ks, 10Ks (achieved - September & October, 2013), and half marathons (achieved - Oct, 2013).
9. Work on consistently loving myself.
Carbs: Less than 100
Run 3x/week (at least 2 miles)
Walk 2x/week (at least 2 miles)
ST 2-3x/week (at least 10 mins)
I love coffee, naps, skiing, reading, rain, and the crisp morning air as the sun is just beginning to rise in the morning.
I want to be a better person. I want to be less critical, less judgmental, and less negative. I want to be more positive, loving, and accepting. I want to see the gray in the world instead of strictly black or white. I want self-improvement.
| current weight: 165.2