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I have dieted before and i have gained the weight back - its time for a life style change :)

So I have made TONS of excuses…
I sit behind a desk all day – no one notices my pants don’t fit.
I’m going to volleyball this week – I’ll work off whatever then.
I don’t want to go to the gym! – People will notice how lame I am
I don’t care
I have already tired and failed before – why start the cycle again?

Two years ago my boyfriend weighed 250. It seemed like one day he decided to loose a bunch of weight and he did it. I don’t think he did it the healthiest way but he has kept it off and he looks good.

Two years ago (weight about 220) I was on my second attempt at a weight loss program. I gave in (and failed) right around the same time my boyfriend decided to loose a bunch of weight. I was terrified of him leaving me because I wasn’t/couldn’t/didn’t want to loosing weight like he was. He was being a jerk because he was asking me not to use butter when I cook for him, to stop frying foods because he would have to go work off the extra calories and trying to introduce me to new whole wheat breads instead of my white bread. He introduced me to wings, crab dip and rib eye steak! I didn’t want to try any new foods and I was too scared to admit it was me that was part of the problem.

Today I am still with the boyfriend. We have learned to cook healthy together but we still eat out once in awhile. He weighs around 180 and I weight around 250 – and he is still with me and loves me and annoys me to go to the gym.

I recently graduated school and moved back in with my dad. His wife recently left him and the house was falling apart so Rob and I choose to move back to help him with the house, his health and give him support. It hasn’t felt so family-like in a long time. We all eat together and between Rob and I we can manage the house. My dad (who is diabetic and has a high blood pressure) and I have gained some weight since I moved back because I love eating together. I make these huge meals and we sit down together and it is nice.

I have a part time job at a medical board right now. I need full time work but it is hard right now to find it. It just seems like six rejection letter come for every interview and it is taking it toll on me.

Major fears:
My boy friend irons my cloths – I don’t want him to really know how big my waist is and the amount of fabric it takes to cover me.
Getting on the back of my6 boyfriend motor cycle – I use to ride on the back all of the time – but that was 30 pounds ago; I am really afraid he will pop a wheely with me on the back.
Loosing weight – I once lost like 10 pound on a weight loss program and my co-workers said, “Wow, did you loose weight??? You look so pretty!” – excuse me – but what did I look like before?!

Most embarrassing moment:
My own person hell that happened like four times in a row – did I mention it all happened in front of my boyfriend?
People kept asking when I was due – like when am I going to have a baby – I’m not pregnant – I’m just fat!
When I was moving a few people in the apartment complex told me I shouldn’t be lifting heavy things because I was pregnant.
People I didn’t know kept saying “Congratulations!” at first I thought it was because they somehow knew I was graduating but it wasn’t.
The neighborhood kids liked me because I had a dog – they finally asked too.

I think every time someone asked this I gained at least another pound or two.

No More!!!! There are no gimmicks to loosing weight – there are no shot or sure fire things that will work. I took years for me to get where I am so I am expecting it to take time to get to where I want to be.

Member Since: 8/4/2009

Fitness Minutes: 3,701

My Goals:
I want to take care of me – I am so accustomed to taking care of everyone around me that I truly do not know how to take care of my self or take time for myself.
I want to be down to 180 by my Birthday (4/15)
There is a Flying trapeze class in Washington DC. There is no weight limit but theer harnesses do not fit me – I want to get down to 210/200 sooner than later so I can fly off the giant trapeze!
I want to be the hottest sister in my family

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Margo T

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