NEWMARILYN   7,791
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7,000-8,499 SparkPoints
 
 
He guides me, everyday. His love is so amazing. I could not do anything apart from God.





Day 1- 150 by 50





With the help of Almighty God, I can make it to the finish line. 150...here I come!



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Starting Over...Again!

I reject my body and my body rejects me. That's my current situation. I had a number of weight loss successes in the past. But, that's the past. Right now, I'm 4 pounds shy of 300 and I feel and look disgusting. I'm sorry if this intro. is a downer. But, I need to face the reality of my situation. And, I am very down right now. My kids have agreed to monitor my page and help me with support. But, that's not their job. They shouldn't be worried about me. They have their lives to live. If I could ...
I reject my body and my body rejects me. That's my current situation. I had a number of weight loss successes in the past. But, that's the past. Right now, I'm 4 pounds shy of 300 and I feel and look disgusting. I'm sorry if this intro. is a downer. But, I need to face the reality of my situation. And, I am very down right now. My kids have agreed to monitor my page and help me with support. But, that's not their job. They shouldn't be worried about me. They have their lives to live. If I could crawl in a hole some where, I would. My daughter graduates from high school in 6 weeks and the things on my mind are what will I ever wear, will I be able to walk to the venue and will the seat hold me. I feel like such a failure as a mother. I got really sick and I was bed-ridden for a long time. And, I was taking steroids for inflammation. The combination of those things and my food addiction and lack of discipline makes for a very fat Marilyn. A lot of the pain has ceased, but I have really bad leg cramps at night. I just lack the motivation and pushing past the pain is NO JOKE! I want to do it. I really do. Or, at least I think that I do. If I wanted it that bad, wouldn't I do it? Well, anyway, I'm back on spark people. I've gotten a lot of help from this community. I don't want the rest of my life to be like this.

I want to be healthy.

I want to have self-control.

I want to be able to walk and enjoy my kids.

I want my skin/flesh to stop bursting at the seams and weeping.

I want to be able to pull myself up from a sitting position.

I want to be able to go to sleep without fearing pain/cramping.

I want to wake up and not feel like a waste or a great big disappointment to God, myself and every single person in my life.

Read More About NEWMARILYN (Updated March 23)


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Profile

Member Since: 6/8/2007

SparkPoints: 7,791

Fitness Minutes: 4,290

My Goals:
My goal weight is 150 pounds. I am 5'2" tall.

Goal: May 2015- Daughter's Graduation

-Be able to walk without getting tired
-Have on an outfit and undergarments that fit
-Have my hair, nails and makeup on point


My Program:
I am striving to eat clean and exercise more. No more...no less. Plain and simple.

Personal Information:
I love cardinal birds. I love cherry blossom trees in the Springtime. I love my children. And, I love my God.

Other Information:
Music moves me, profoundly.

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Yogurt
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Member Comments:
SPWITHSPIRIT
3/27/2015 11:46:23 AM

God is NEVER disappointed in you!!!!
He has given you a great gift of another day, because HE is FOR YOU and wants to see you happy and want abundant life for you.

Remember, in your goals and your program, it is one day at a time, and celebrate each success! and sometimes it's one hour or one minute or one decision at a time....for example, couple of days ago, I did not do well all morning, then I made the decision not to let that affect the rest of my day. so although I was off plan, and over my calories in total for the day anyway, it would have been much worse had I not stopped the mindless snacking in it's tracks and finished the day well, by eating a good dinner and NO dessert or snack afterward - only brush teeth, be done for the day, and move on. A different day, my biggest success was walking right past the plate of leftover cakes/cookies from someone's church that was in the breakroom! I was so tempted, and really looked at it every time I walked by, but OH SO PROUD of myself that I had not taken any, and soon the plate was gone so I no longer had to worry about it. It's just baby-steps sometimes.... emoticon emoticon



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LASVEGASLES
3/26/2015 3:52:22 PM

Yup! I'm back! Let's do this again! emoticon



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TIKITAMI
3/24/2015 7:39:58 PM

Thanks for adding me as a friend!





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COOP9002
3/24/2015 4:05:01 PM

Thanks for the Spark friend add. Blessings upon you and yours today.



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ZKELLEYBELLY
2/10/2015 9:39:54 AM

Hi welcome to my team. I hope we get more people in this group.

Did you hit like for spark people for Facebook?

You have done very well

My name on FB is Donna Zinna Kelley.
Good luck emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/10/2015 9:41:58 AM

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