Welcome to my 14th attempt at starting this SparkPage. :) This time it's going live, no matter what! No more worries about a catchy, insightful title or making a "good" impression or choosing an appropriate profile pic. I am living "as if" I know exactly the right thing to say and do at exactly the right moment. And if not, I trust I will be able to handle whatever misperception I have created. Right?? :D
I am a 48-yr-old single parent-learning technologist-dancer who has struggled with weight and personal perception since, oh, 4th grade. Thing is, looking back at my high school yearbook, if I knew then what I know now, I may not have fretted quite so much!
My journey to better health in mind-body-soul began seriously in 2003. It suddenly just clicked; I was ready to make major changes--for myself because I wanted to. And I did! Within six months I lost 40 lbs... by eating moderately and healthfully, exercising regularly, and drinking lots of water. No magic, just determination. That summer I hiked volcanoes in Hawaii and snorkled in the Pacific. It was amazing. I was excited, self-assured, and fully confident that the remaining 40 pounds to my goal weight would come off in due time.
Two years later, I was still proud that I had maintained the initial loss despite personal, family, and professional challenges. I weathered those storms with the belief I could do and handle anything--and I did. I eventually left a job that totally stressed me out and no longer brought me happiness or fulfillment, sold my house, moved to another city, and went back to college to change careers. I am now starting a career I love that excites and challenges me in positive ways. My daughter is in a better academic and social space for her. Life is good...
Except that I have lost nothing more. Well, that's not exactly true... in the last 4 years I have bounced around inside a 15-lb bubble that seems to have become my unwanted home, It's not a plateau so much as a plexiglass box with no apparent door. I can SEE where I want to be--and where I do not--and I can get close (to both, unfortunately), but I cannot, no, I HAVE not broken through.
Since my initial successes eight years ago, perimenopause has kicked in, which may be working against me. Except for the extra weight, I am basically healthy--and for that I am deeply grateful. That IS Priority #1. But the weight and the emotional baggage and the lingering self-(mis)perceptions are holding me back... I KNOW I can do things--I ran a 5K last year, and I have always HATED running! But I want to do more. I want to prove to myself I have the discipline to meet this next/ongoing challenge, to reach my goal weight. I so want the outside to match the inside. I want the cover to reflect the book. I don't want to live "as if;" I want to BE.
Support and community on this journey have been lacking or non-existent. I am not sure why it has taken me so long to reach out on SparkPeople, but I realize I need and crave this vital component to help me follow through. I look forward to meeting, chatting, connecting, supporting, learning, growing, sharing, and succeeding with you.
Short term: Lose 15 lbs, run another 5K for a personal best, and fit comfortably in a size 16 dress by August 13, 2011.
Long term: Lose 53 lbs and be able to spin without losing my balance and do a back flip over the exercise ball. (Not sure why, but I've got this urge... :))
Following SparkPeople nutritional guide & tracking my intake.
At least 30 mins cardio/day and strength training 3x/week--all tracked on SP.
8 glasses of water/day, tracked.
Call me Deb!
Love dancing, music, musical theater, crime TV, The Big Bang Theory, Zumba, volleyball, running(?), chocolate, fruit soothies, Harry Potter, Kathy Reichs, Janet Evanovich, the mountains, Caroline Myss, learning, teaching, & most importantly, my children.
| Pounds lost: 8.8
You have such a nice face Deb. Be kind to yourself too.
1699 days ago