MEYEDE   9,060
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Living As If...

Greetings!

Welcome to my 14th attempt at starting this SparkPage. :) This time it's going live, no matter what! No more worries about a catchy, insightful title or making a "good" impression or choosing an appropriate profile pic. I am living "as if" I know exactly the right thing to say and do at exactly the right moment. And if not, I trust I will be able to handle whatever misperception I have created. Right?? :D

I am a 48-yr-old single parent-learning ...
Greetings!

Welcome to my 14th attempt at starting this SparkPage. :) This time it's going live, no matter what! No more worries about a catchy, insightful title or making a "good" impression or choosing an appropriate profile pic. I am living "as if" I know exactly the right thing to say and do at exactly the right moment. And if not, I trust I will be able to handle whatever misperception I have created. Right?? :D

I am a 48-yr-old single parent-learning technologist-dancer who has struggled with weight and personal perception since, oh, 4th grade. Thing is, looking back at my high school yearbook, if I knew then what I know now, I may not have fretted quite so much!

My journey to better health in mind-body-soul began seriously in 2003. It suddenly just clicked; I was ready to make major changes--for myself because I wanted to. And I did! Within six months I lost 40 lbs... by eating moderately and healthfully, exercising regularly, and drinking lots of water. No magic, just determination. That summer I hiked volcanoes in Hawaii and snorkled in the Pacific. It was amazing. I was excited, self-assured, and fully confident that the remaining 40 pounds to my goal weight would come off in due time.

Two years later, I was still proud that I had maintained the initial loss despite personal, family, and professional challenges. I weathered those storms with the belief I could do and handle anything--and I did. I eventually left a job that totally stressed me out and no longer brought me happiness or fulfillment, sold my house, moved to another city, and went back to college to change careers. I am now starting a career I love that excites and challenges me in positive ways. My daughter is in a better academic and social space for her. Life is good...

Except that I have lost nothing more. Well, that's not exactly true... in the last 4 years I have bounced around inside a 15-lb bubble that seems to have become my unwanted home, It's not a plateau so much as a plexiglass box with no apparent door. I can SEE where I want to be--and where I do not--and I can get close (to both, unfortunately), but I cannot, no, I HAVE not broken through.

Since my initial successes eight years ago, perimenopause has kicked in, which may be working against me. Except for the extra weight, I am basically healthy--and for that I am deeply grateful. That IS Priority #1. But the weight and the emotional baggage and the lingering self-(mis)perceptions are holding me back... I KNOW I can do things--I ran a 5K last year, and I have always HATED running! But I want to do more. I want to prove to myself I have the discipline to meet this next/ongoing challenge, to reach my goal weight. I so want the outside to match the inside. I want the cover to reflect the book. I don't want to live "as if;" I want to BE.

Support and community on this journey have been lacking or non-existent. I am not sure why it has taken me so long to reach out on SparkPeople, but I realize I need and crave this vital component to help me follow through. I look forward to meeting, chatting, connecting, supporting, learning, growing, sharing, and succeeding with you.

Thanks!
Read More About MEYEDE (Updated June 9)




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Member Since: 1/14/2009

SparkPoints: 9,060

Fitness Minutes: 9,169

My Goals:
Short term: Lose 15 lbs, run another 5K for a personal best, and fit comfortably in a size 16 dress by August 13, 2011.

Long term: Lose 53 lbs and be able to spin without losing my balance and do a back flip over the exercise ball. (Not sure why, but I've got this urge... :))

My Program:
Following SparkPeople nutritional guide & tracking my intake.

At least 30 mins cardio/day and strength training 3x/week--all tracked on SP.

8 glasses of water/day, tracked.

Personal Information:
Call me Deb!



Other Information:
Love dancing, music, musical theater, crime TV, The Big Bang Theory, Zumba, volleyball, running(?), chocolate, fruit soothies, Harry Potter, Kathy Reichs, Janet Evanovich, the mountains, Caroline Myss, learning, teaching, & most importantly, my children.

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Member Comments:
ROBINSU65
10/2/2011 6:42:06 PM

You have such a nice face Deb. Be kind to yourself too.



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