MERELYBRILLIANT   195
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Grauman's Chinese Theater, Hollywood, CA, 5/10





Galveston Seawall, 10/10





Christmas 2010 @ The Gaylord Texan Resort's display ICE: A Charlie Brown Christmas...soo fun!



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Building A Better Me

"The risk it takes to remain tight in a bud is greater than the risk it takes to blossom." - Anias Nin

It started when I was about five years old, and now it has encompassed me. I was raised on homemade fried chicken with gravy and a bird's nest of mashed potatoes and canned peas on Sundays, the saying, "Eat everything on your plate, there are starving children in Africa," and being told I could have one slice of cake while watching my parent devour the whole thing.

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"The risk it takes to remain tight in a bud is greater than the risk it takes to blossom." - Anias Nin

It started when I was about five years old, and now it has encompassed me. I was raised on homemade fried chicken with gravy and a bird's nest of mashed potatoes and canned peas on Sundays, the saying, "Eat everything on your plate, there are starving children in Africa," and being told I could have one slice of cake while watching my parent devour the whole thing.

Now I walk by a shop window, seeing my reflection and gasp at the same time thinking, 'is that really me...oh god!" I often wonder how I could be so clueless and allow my body to get to this point, so to comfort my self-pity...I eat. I have tried a plethora of diets, with some results only to fall back into my old ways. I have ridden the binging-starving-crazy restriction-binging merry-go-round, time and time again. I'm SO done!

The only thing that works for me is what everyone tells me to do...eat less calories, do not restrict just limit, and add some exercise. Now if I can hold myself to it for long enough to get some motivational results, and reset the default mode on my emotional triggers...then I will be all good baybay!

STARTING NOW: I am claiming progress, NOT perfection. I am working towards being healthy and not 'skinny'. I am doing this for me, sure, with a few motivators! This is a MUST. I am worth it, and I best believe! A year from now, I will be kicking myself in the head for not starting today.
Read More About MERELYBRILLIANT (Updated October 7)




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Member Since: 10/7/2012

SparkPoints: 195

Fitness Minutes: 0

My Goals:
-Having healthy numbers on medical exams
-Having unregrettable wedding photos (one day)
-Running a 5k marathon
-Feeling more energetic
-Resetting my default eating triggers
-Fitting into the cute clothes hanging in my closet!

My Program:
For the first two weeks:
-Cutting out soda
-Drinking more H2O
-Walking daily
-Counting Calories
-Limiting, not restricting
-Eating 3+ meals per day including breakfast
-Not hitting the snooze...sheesh...gonna be tough

Personal Information:
Hometown: Bailey, CO
Current: Lubbock, TX
Occupation: Care Manager & Geriatric Caregiver
Pursuits: Getting my RN and BSN, getting healthy, finding a loving companion!

Other Information:
"...We cannot be blamed for learning what we were taught (intentionally or unintentionally). Yet as adults, we
have a responsibility to try to identify and interrupt the cycle of oppression. When we recognize that we
have been misinformed, we have a responsibility to seek out more accurate information and to adjust our
behavior accordingly." -Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum


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