I've always had a weight issue since my highschool years, then i watched an episod of PUNKY BRUSTER and there was a girl on there that was overweight and people were making fun of her she went to a fat camp and by the end of the show of coures it was a half an hour show and she was skinny every body loverd her so i thought hey i can do that and thus started the ED. I started with Bulimia and i thought wow i can eat anything and be good to go drink a large amount of water after and it would all be gone wow cool, not cool after a while i wouldn't need to drink so much water it would just happen after i ate, after about two years of that and a lose of alot of weight and spending the summer in and out of the hospital i got back to school so tired and sad but as soon as i walked in to the school everyone was WOW you look great and everyone was my friend even my family was complimenting me they didn't even know. In grade 11 a very good friend of mine caught me in the bathroom and that was the end of that so i turned to Anorexia.
In the end of grade 11 i was pretty skinny and POPULAR everything i wanted NOT if they only knew how much pain i was in and that was the problem and what was really sad was my family didn't even notice that i wasn't eating and it's funny because i was skinny and even though i was i wasn't enjoying being skinny all i was thinking of was how hungry i was and how was i going to hide the food that i was going to have eat with the family that night or could i just tell them that i ate all ready. During all this crap in my life i met this wonderful person when i was in grade 11 he was an older man 10 years older then me and we hit it off and started dating but i was dating this person off and on that was abusive and it was really bad, I had a friend that would help me cover my bruises with makeup so i could go to school,and you know my family didn't even notice that either, anyway i got out of that and started dating this man that changed me .
Still dealing with the ED kept living my life, ended up moving in with this person after about 8 months of dating and he knew what was going on and let me know that he knew which helped me but i was still doing it but i was eating alittle bit more and started gaining weight NO NOT GOING TO HAPPEN so when he would go to work i wouldn't eat breakfast workout for 2 hours then go for a walk for another hour sometimes i had no energy i would just stay in bed untill he got home, only living on a diet of pop and a apple we would always order out and he want to bed early and then i started purging again it seemed easier for me at the time.
I am 5 foot 8 inches tall and we have been living together for about 3 years and i weighted mabey 100 pounds. I see pictures of me back then and i can't believe it anyway he proposed to me and i said yes but all i'm thinking is if i wasn't skinny i wouldn't be getting married because you know even when you are little and some parents say things to you and as a parent you think o she won't remember that let me tell you we do.. I love my mother to death but there are somethings that she said to me as a child i remember to this day and they still hurt when i remember them and just a couple of months ago i don't know what happened but she told me that;that one thing that she use to say to me that she was sorry about.
Now back to my man after we made a date which was September 7/94 i got pregnant and the baby was due Auguest 30 wasn't getting married in september so we changed it to April. I went in to my doctor and he said you need to eat or this pregnence will not happen so my daughter saved my life. WOW didn't know how to eat and put on 100 pounds in like 6 months not happy but i want my baby girl, she was born healthy and happy and what did i do nothing i tryed to do it the right way with the help of BANA which thank god i kept all the work i did with them way back in highschool started eating and working out. Then i got pregnent with my son this time only put on 20 pounds but still had the 60 pounds left from my daughter. both of my pregnances were very bad with my son i vomited for the whole time that morning sickness please no such thing, anyway my son was born a sick little boy and we were in and out of the hospital for 2 years very scary time but he is the healthiest out of all of use now LOL.
After about 4 years started starving myself and B/P again and lost alot of weight again and put it on again my god you know just stop but not that easy but after all the crap i did to myself in the past i did alot of damage to my body screwed up my heart my thyroid on meds for the rest of my life when i was younger i delt with joint problems were i could't even walk i had to crawl just to go to the bathroom for a long time school was a challange. So i started taking care of myself working out eating right wow this is cool wasn't easy but i was doing it. Lost 100 pounds and kept it off for years then started to get my yearly physicals come back with not so good things as us women know about those lovely paps we have to have they were come back unnormal cells then cancer cells and for 5 years it was surgerys after surgerys trying to get rid of them the last surgey before i was even healed they were back hey you know i start taking care of myself and this happens anyway so it was time to stop and just take it out, i had an aunt that died of cervical cancer when she was 43 no more fooling around. So now here i am i had 20 pounds to lose before all this crap started and now i have 35 to lose and still dealing with starving and binging no more purging but i'm not going to lie sometimes i still think hey i ate to much today just go do it but i don't and as for my husband he has tought me meditation wonderful and he is into TAI CHI for the past 17 years and he as tought me alot . i have joined a gym i love it and even thought i have weight to lose i haven't felt this good in years and years, i have two wonderful children and a supportive, funny, loving and all around great husband who would of thought i would have this life i'm truly blessed and of course two big spoiled rotten dogs.
So here i am on this great site that helps people and how cool is that pretty cool, i have learnd from this site that i'm not alone on my journey and there are people that will help you and that you can help which also helps you i hope you know what i mean, I would like to thank everyone that has helped me and that are going to help me in the future.
Thank you xoxoxoxoxox.
I/WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER.
1.Get my binge eating
2.Every time I have a craving I need to stop and think, am I really hungery or am I board, then i need to get a big glass of ice water with lemon.
3.I have to remember that just because it is in the house i don't have to eat it
I will survive.
4. I have to get rid of the all or nothing mantality.
5.And i need to remember I'm worth all the health and happienss in the world.
I do cardio 4 to 5 days a week and weight train 2 days a week and get in my yoga and pilates.My husband and children bought me an eliptical for christmas and loving it.
i'm a 36 year old mother of two i have a 13 year old daughter and a 11 year old son, my husban and i have been together for 17 years and have been married for 13 years. I live in windsor ontario. I have 2 pups they are my other children so i have 4 children i guess you can say. I've had a problem with binging/purging then got sick of getting sick so starved myself. I've been good for awhile but i still binge without the purge and anyone who has had this problem knows just how much food you can eat. So i lost 100 pounds not all the right way but here to lose the last 30 pounds the right way. having a under active thyroid doesn't help. And on April 4 07 had a hysterectomy there is another challange, but i can do it. I know after i heal i will have a little more then 30 pounds to loose and that's ok because i now have my life back.
My children, dogs and i love to go hiking, we all love the outdoors sometimes the hubbie comes he's not an outside person. We love to bike ride and just spend all the time in the world together and i love my gym time.
Thank You for Being You
Thank you for your kindness.
Thank you for being the person you are:
kind and thoughtful,
sensitive and considerate,
a generous and thoughtful giver.
You are unselfish always,
putting others before yourself,
making me feel special and important.
It is a privilege and a pleasure to know you.
2817 days ago
Hi Friend!!! Just checking to see how you're doing!!!
2819 days ago
Never Give Up
Never give up
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country is spent
developing the mind instead of the heart
Develop the heart,
Not just to your friends but to everyone,
Work for peace in your heart and in the world
Work for peace, and I say again
Never give up
No matter what is happening
2840 days ago
Hey. Wanted to check in. Haven't heard from you in a while. I read your blog regarding paranormal. I am definately into it and will check it out. Hope you have a great weekend!!
2845 days ago
Hi there! Oh my, you have had quite the time of it! I'm glad you're here at SparkPeople so you can do it the healthy way!!! I stopped by to welcome you to the Ghost Hunters Fans team! You have joined a very special team with members who will amaze you with their motivation, encouragement and support! Please check out our Team Goals, they're easy to do and will help you reach your goal! Jump right in to any of the many threads we keep going, I can't wait to read your opinions!
If you ever need me, or just want to talk, drop me a Spark mail anytime. I'll reply, you can bet on that! LOL I look forward to getting to know you better!
Much Love and Best of Luck,
Sandy ~ Team Leader
2846 days ago