LUVLYLORELEI   24,453
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20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
 
 
September 2014.





Me at an outdoor art exhibit in Saarlouis, Germany years ago. I would like to look like this again.





An approximation of what I might look like when I lose the weight.



I have 17 pics in my gallery





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Fighting for the me Iím supposed to be

I began this journey at 382.2 pounds on Nov. 23, 2011. I thought then my weight had reached itís highest point and that never again would I weigh so much. I was wrong. Inspiration to lose the weight had taken me like a whirlwind after a loved one was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer.

I wanted to walk in a Relay for Life as an expression of gratitude for the care given to my loved one during treatment, and one once again as this person has been diagnosed again with cancer a ...
I began this journey at 382.2 pounds on Nov. 23, 2011. I thought then my weight had reached itís highest point and that never again would I weigh so much. I was wrong. Inspiration to lose the weight had taken me like a whirlwind after a loved one was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer.

I wanted to walk in a Relay for Life as an expression of gratitude for the care given to my loved one during treatment, and one once again as this person has been diagnosed again with cancer a second time. Unfortunately, the realization hit me that this one thing I felt was my duty to do, I could not do. Grateful for the care of skilled doctors and nurses, and the help of organizations that made that care possible, I feel like I need to do this. Itís time to give back.

I thought this motivation would be enough to change my life, but after losing 57 pounds by the first part of 2013, I lost sight of my goal and gained everything I had lost and then some.

Feeling defeated, my weight just kept climbing, all the way to up to 418.9 pounds in Jan. 2014.

Iím starting over again. Revisiting old goals. Rewriting my story, as I am doing now, and it has brought tears to my eyes.

I remember not being able to easily walk across a room without pain and struggling when I started my journey in 2011. I remember the emotional pain of nearly losing someone I care deeply about and am not ready to let go of, and I remember the overwhelming love and gratitude that initially buoyed me towards a goal worthy of achieving Ė walking in the Relay for Life.

I never achieved that goal.

But my story is not over.

I am not finished.

I will achieve my goal.

I need a little help. Gathering my support around me, Iím back on SparkPeople, Iíve returned to my TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) meetings, Iím back in the pool for aquatherapy. My doctors support my goal and so does my family. Iím enlisting the help of those who will listen, anyone who can help.

This weight is too big for me to carry alone.

But as a part of a community, more of whom care than I probably could imagine, I will be able to achieve this goal.

I have to achieve this goal. I was meant to achieve this goal.

Iím starting once again, much like I was before in 2011, with pain and difficulty walking. I huff and I puff at the slightest exertion. The simple task of taking care of myself has become so daunting that I fight everyday to not succumb to failure.

The one thing that keeps me going, even through the imperfect times is that I know that these difficulties are only temporary. Once again, I will start getting lighter on my feet and Iíll be able to do things I couldnít do before.

I can hardly wait. Itís time for change and Iím ready for it.
Read More About LUVLYLORELEI (Updated August 5)




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 current weight: 386.0 
 
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Member Since: 2/21/2010

SparkPoints: 24,453

Fitness Minutes: 13,285

My Goals:
RELAY FOR LIFE

I'd like to lose enough weight to participate in a Relay for Life as an act of gratitude for the help and care that someone close to me received after being diagnosed with cancer, now for a second time.

My Program:
Eating a nutritionally dense diet

Planning meals in advance

Being mindful of the calories I eat

Getting regular exercise

Controlling sodium

Drinking lots of water

Attending weekly TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) meetings

Spending lots of time on SparkPeople

Jumping into my program with 2 feet

Always look ahead, remain pumped about all the good stuff waiting on the horizon

Plug into the community, virtually and literally, doing walks and runs as soon as Iím physical able

Having as much fun as humanly possible!

Other Information:
From July 1992 until July 1993, I was a foreign exchange student in Germany. It was a truly amazing experience, although I can hardly believe it's 20 years in the past! Gosh, how time flies!

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Member Comments:
GRETA242
4/18/2014 12:51:42 PM

Try focusing on the positive changes you are making. The scale went back up by 10 pounds and has stayed there for the past two weeks.



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GLAMNGLOWDIVA
2/13/2014 11:49:32 PM

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Happy Valentine's Day! Whoever you spend it with today may it be wonderful! *~ Paula *~

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.

" Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them." (Francesco Guicciardini)

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DDOORN
1/29/2014 9:46:15 AM

Thx for the SparkGoodie!

Looking forward to hearing what soups you come up with! :-)

Don



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HELLOADDISON
1/28/2014 9:06:01 AM

Thank you for the Carnation! emoticon



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STRIVERONE
1/28/2014 1:38:55 AM

Thank you for the SparkGoodie. Something hot is just the thing right now as the current wind chill here is -14 and it's snowing.



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