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Pirate Me - Oct 2007

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I have always struggled with weight. Out of high school I was a slim 125. I got myself into a rough relationship to put it mildly and it spiraled my self esteem out of control. After our split in my first year of Uni I noticed I had rocketed up into the 150+. Throughout Uni I struggled with weight bouncing between 140 and 190. Losing the weight with quick fad diets and diet programs like WW and LA Weight Loss and gaining it back with boyfriends, drinking, and self sabotage.

In 2007, at 155, I met my husband to be (married Sept 4, 2009). We both had problems of our own myself mostly with self esteem and him with commitment and relationships. In September, after dating a few short months, we moved in together and the weight struggle continued. I put on about 30lbs which has remained through all of my groans and desire to drop the weight. Over the past two years we worked together to grow and shed our issues and both have become stronger because of it.

I finally feel I have a better handle on knowing who I am and am OK with what I see. I am not defined by my weight and have now for the first time been able to look at my weight loss struggles objectively. I can now see that all the gains and losses were tied to how I felt about myself. I would even go so far as to say the gains and losses dictated my feelings in a perpetual cycle of emotional eating.

I have decided now I have what I call 'The Hunger' (read emotional eating). A feeling I get which says I must eat triggered by stress, emotion, boredom, work, cooking, etc. This Hunger is my weakness; something I have now acknowledged as an entity I will probably battle endlessly. By acknowledging it and seeing it as something I can beat I feel that for the first time I am in control of my weight and my life.

Some strategies that work. Most of them I have learned over the years of weight loss programs but never really could apply them as there was no difference between being hungry and 'The Hunger'

-Before I eat I ask myself am I truly hungry? If I am not I don't eat it.
-I keep track of what time I eat. Each time I eat I check the time. I like to keep my meals and snacks 3 hours apart, this helps me control when and where I eat.
-Sometimes I have eaten the food before I notice - I call it blackout eating. I write it down and take note of how it happened - usually it is when I am cooking and sampling.
-I make a mental note each morning that I will be aware of and fight 'The Hunger'.
-Evening snacking or wandering eating when I am relaxing at night and watching shows. A cup of tea helps and some low cal tea biscuits help. I decide that this is my snack and any other snacking I want to do I will ignore.

Member Since: 11/29/2008

Fitness Minutes: 5,415

My Goals:
Record Food

Under control:
Limit dining out to once a month.

My Program:
ATM I am experimenting with what times I like to work out and what foods I enjoy.
Finding foods that are easy, yummy and healthy.

Personal Information:
From BC, Canada
Name is Becca
Senior Computer Support Analyst and Trainer

Other Information:
Laurel K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series.
Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series.
Watching: Farscape, Alias, Lost, Heroes, Veronica Mars, One Tree Hill
Playing: LOTRO, inFamous, Fallout, BioShock

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