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Re-inventing the me
Hello and welcome.
If you're thinking page looks a little blank, you'd be correct. It used to have photos and friends and groups I belonged to. It used to have details about me.
Then in July this year I had a bit of a melt-down. It wasn't just with SparkPeople, it affected a lot of things. I decided I was just sick of it all... I was faking it and failing at it and SP seemed to represent everything I had faked and failed at. I decided I was going to leave the ...
Hello and welcome.
If you're thinking page looks a little blank, you'd be correct. It used to have photos and friends and groups I belonged to. It used to have details about me.
Then in July this year I had a bit of a melt-down. It wasn't just with SparkPeople, it affected a lot of things. I decided I was just sick of it all... I was faking it and failing at it and SP seemed to represent everything I had faked and failed at. I decided I was going to leave the site... I un-joined all my groups, deleted all my stupid blogs, removed all my photos. I started deleting my friends, but when I deleted one I really liked, I suddenly had second thoughts, and couldn't go through with it... so I left the last few surviving friends and put up a message saying I was leaving the site and good luck!
Except... except... except I couldn't actually walk away from it. All the habits I'd started were strangely ingrained... if I didn't track my food I'd have that feeling of having forgotten something... exercise somehow felt less worthwhile if I wasn't recording it... and that confounded points wheel haunted me. And so by degrees I got pulled back in until I was assimilated again.
Funnily enough, since coming back I've actually started to lose weight... which is good... and have gone under the point where I usually stick in my weight-loss efforts then start putting it back on. Yes, funnily enough I have lost it and put it back on many, many times... hasn't 95% of everyone on the site! I added it up; over the years I've lost my entire body weight twice over, so I'm obviously both very good at losing weight and absolutely hopeless at it! However this time it seems to be moving... I'm weighing less than I've weighed in 20 years and I'm feeling good about it.
So here I am, post melt down, re-inventing myself as someone I want to be.
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My Ticker:
| current weight: 200.0 |
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Member Since: 11/29/2009
SparkPoints: 51,367
Fitness Minutes: 41,365
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