LDYSABELLA   17,808
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This is me at 352 lbs February 4, 2008.





How I envision myself after I have reached my goal weight.



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The Bumpy Road to Health and Fitness

January 5, 2015

As I sit here after tracking and logging and reestablishing my goals, He Is Not Dead Yet from Monty Python's Spamalot is running through my head. I'm at a new all time high of 363 pounds as of my 45 year well check up.

So here I go again with a liquid diet ( Total Soy Meal Replacement ) instead of Optifast. Its so much less expensive. I need to lose weight because I hurt so much; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Im almost 200 pounds over ...
January 5, 2015

As I sit here after tracking and logging and reestablishing my goals, He Is Not Dead Yet from Monty Python's Spamalot is running through my head. I'm at a new all time high of 363 pounds as of my 45 year well check up.

So here I go again with a liquid diet ( Total Soy Meal Replacement ) instead of Optifast. Its so much less expensive. I need to lose weight because I hurt so much; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Im almost 200 pounds over weight. Im trying to get into bariatric surgery with the intent of reducing my stomach down to the size of an egg in hopes I can finally beat my hunger and genetics. Lets face it, I could swear off solid food until this time next year and still have weight to lose. I know they say that loving yourself should be enough but it isnt. Still I am not dead yet so there is hope for me. I have a chance to get fit and healthy.

October 29, 2012

I've joined the 72-Days Until 2013 Challenge on Team ~Indygirl. It has really got me back on track after a few hard weeks. Still, I'm 60lbs. lighter than my highest weight and over a quarter of the way to my goal. I'm so excited to welcome the New Year healthier in mind and body.

(03/11/08):

I'm so very happy to have found this site. The tracking tools have cut the hours I used to spend journaling to a few minutes after every meal. I can see how I'm doing anytime of day at a glance and adjust from there. I love the articles on the site and nourish my mind daily as well as my body.

The best thing about SparkPeople is the wonderful community. The people are so friendly and supportive. We're never alone. When friends are less than helpful or supportive, SparkPeople are there. When the people in my life have no concept of what I'm going through. SparkPeople understand.


*Where I Started:

I guess I'll begin with what's weighing on my mind, not to mention around my middle and off my thighs. I've managed to gain back every thing I've lost since I joined TOPS in 2004. At my high point, I topped the scales at 362.

There is no one thing to blame for it. Stress and tension have a lot to do with it as do lack of time and motivation. I've been completely overwhelmed by mothering four kids, working full time as a writer at a desk and dealing with a bizarre, long list of crises due to living in an aging house and in an extended family.

Journaling is the only thing that I've found that actually works for me. Thus, dieting is a full time preoccupation with every waking moment spent worrying about what I can eat, what I am eating, what I have to eat to make a decent meal, what I ended up eating and when I have to eat again� and writing every bit of it down. I already have a full time writing job and I'm a mother of four vivacious children from toddler to tween. I just can't handle one more thing. And yet my weight is completely out of control.

My health is OK for now. However, staying this heavy is not an option. It opens up so many deadly serious problems such as heart disease, diabetes and risk of stroke. I'm always worn out.

It's funny how being heavy is a double edged sword. It also makes me feel awful about myself. I know the reality of social interactions in our society. People judge you before you ever meet on your appearance. I have to work twice as hard to be considered worth while as some pretty little thing. It makes me hang back and stay silent when I should stand forward and speak up for myself. It also insulates me from unwanted attention, which I don't know how to deal with.

I'm completely and utterly overwhelmed by the amount of weight I have to lose. I'm bewildered; knowing that if I succeed, like a balloon that has been overfilled and deflated, I will most likely need surgery to look normal.

I'm seriously considering Bariatric surgery. Anti-obesity drugs aren't an option for me because of my anti-depressants and I feel like I'm out of options. I'm particularly interested in the LAP-band. I know there are substantial risks. The statistics are as high as 10-20%. I know one man who died after having it and another that nearly did. However, I really don't think I can live with myself any more and a separation is out of the question. Where ever I go, there I am.

So here I am again, ready to start over. I know what to do. We all know what do. I just need to figure out a way to get there.
Read More About LDYSABELLA (Updated January 6)


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 current weight: 351.6 
 
363
314.75
266.5
218.25
170


 
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Member Since: 2/6/2008

SparkPoints: 17,808

Fitness Minutes: 7,799

My Goals:
The dreaded chart has me at 170 for my 5' 8". I have a large frame and was a size 8 at 153 pounds in college. I guess I'm getting ahead of myself since I have 200 lbs. to lose.

I'm going to set my goals at 5 lb. increments.

My Program:
I'm eating six times a day, I'm drinking Naturade Total Soy Meal Replacements and eating protein bars for on the go meals. I had the most success with Optifast, but can't afford the program or foods.

I'm making an effort to drink at least 8 - 8 oz. glasses of water or equivalent a day. I have a YMCA membership and I want o get there three days a week to begin with. I want to sign up for Aquatic therapy this Spring.

Personal Information:
I'm actually very shy and introverted. I've been very happily married for 23 years May 8th to my best friend. I love helping people which is probably why I have four kids. Music is my passion, reading is my joy, and writing is my therapy. I have great admiration for people who can do it well, especially for those that can serialize a character.

I'm overweight and have been for most of my life. I thought I'd peaked a couple years back at 362 pounds after our last child was born. I totally gave up any pretense of trying to lose or maintain under incredible stress and have reached a new high this winter at 363.

Other Information:
I'm into computers, video games, pen and paper role playing games, action adventure games, RPGs, camping, fishing, baking, Homebrewing, Mead Making, Reading, Movies, Writing, and Knitting.

I love music. I listen to a wide variety of genres, play violin and I'm learning to play the guitar.

I've written two sci-fi, character focused novels, and am looking at options as far as publishing. To publish, to self publish... everyone in the industry seems to have definite opinions one way or another. I have decided to try and publish for the experience, and I've taken the first step and submitted my work to an agent.

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Member Comments:
SOTEIRA75
1/20/2015 8:21:02 AM

Thank you so much for the beautiful comment, very much appreciated. I hope you have a wonderful day you are awesome and we can do this!!!

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4ROSEMARY
1/15/2015 2:06:37 PM

Thanks so much for the goodie. You are doing great!
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FORMYDARLINGS
1/14/2015 1:58:33 PM

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4ROSEMARY
1/9/2015 11:40:53 AM

Thanks for the comment on my blog. You are welcome to join the FlyLady team here on SparkPeople. It's an active, fun team, and you won't be bothered by all the emails that came from the FlyLady website...you can just read the forum for the jobs for the week. Good luck with your goals!

PS: I've added you as a friend, and see you found the FlyLady team.
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Comment edited on: 1/9/2015 1:09:19 PM

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TWEETYKC00
1/8/2015 10:03:40 PM

Hi there. I wouldn't have thought I was any real inspiration myself as there are so many others that have done so much here. How are you doing?



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