The start of being fed up...May 29 2016--getting fit for 40...here I'm 251 lbs
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I left SparkPeople for awhile, but I'm back and still on this journey. I looked in the mirror this month (May 2016), and whereas I usually just get depressed, this time I just became fed up. I could get all 'Tony Robbins', stretch my mouth open with a toothy grin and be like "I'm on this journey and I " know " I can do it!. But truth is, I 'haven't' done it since the two years ago I made that commitment.
So I'm just going to be transparent, and "real". Though I've struggled with my weight all of my life, I never imagined that I would be 39, single, overweight and unhappy. I always pictured my life differently, especially approaching 40. Though I've been through some major hurt and disappointments in my life, truth is, my anger is directed at 'ME'. I think that's where the majority of my being fed up has come from, I look in the mirror and I'm so angry at who I've allowed myself, my body, to become. More so due to the fact that despite who has done whatever to me, " I" allowed myself to become this way. If there's nothing else I can control, I "can" control my diet and moving my body, buy still I've allowed hurt and disappointment to control that as well---fakes ghosts/demons (my past relationship) still haunting my mental space.
Now...the POSITIVE side of things...and I guess my somewhat 'Tony Robbins' moment (lol)...I'm ready to relinquish my ghosts/demons and stop allowing them to control "any" part of my life. I'm ready to take back my power and become the person I believe is inside of this 250 something pound person. I realize that if I'm fed up with how I look and feel, throwing a pity party won't change anything... When you're fed up, you DO something about it, and for me, that time has come. No way am I letting 40 years old catch me looking like this, even if I don't reach my goal by my next birthday(April 29th), I will "not" be where I am now.... I WILL be better!
NOW FOR THE WRITTEN GOALS/AGENDA::
My ultimate goal for my 5'9 frame is to lose 85 lbs( 170 lbs is my aim).
I've decided that i'm going to measure my weight loss in increments--goal by goal......
FIRST GOAL= 55 LBS---in 5 lbs increments
START WEIGHT OF 255 (5/1/2016)
200=(FIRST GOAL MET!!)
SECOND GOAL=25 LBS---in 5 lbs increments
170= (SECOND & LAST GOAL MET!!..*time to celebrate*)
TO BE HEALTHIER
LOSE 85 LBS
EAT LESS, MOVE MORE
My name is Kesha, i'm from Tampa, Florida and i'm 39 years old. I'm the single Mom of one son, Christian. I working to become a healthier, attractive, confident woman. I want to be the best me i can be by the time I'm 40!
I definately battle emotional eating, therefore my focus is to conquer this enemy, and also deal with the ghosts of my past. Please heavenly father, stay with me through this journey...
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| current weight: 251.0