It was silly of me really, standing on those scales on a day of celebration, my birthday in May 2008. But I suppose something inside of me just snapped and I wanted to know.

I had felt incredibly unhealthy and heavy, dressing without much care- opting for track pants and baggy tshirts. Even in the plus size department I was having trouble finding clothes.

But don't get me wrong, it wasn't just the look, it was the fact that I would go out for a short walk and be so ...

It was silly of me really, standing on those scales on a day of celebration, my birthday in May 2008. But I suppose something inside of me just snapped and I wanted to know.

I had felt incredibly unhealthy and heavy, dressing without much care- opting for track pants and baggy tshirts. Even in the plus size department I was having trouble finding clothes.

But don't get me wrong, it wasn't just the look, it was the fact that I would go out for a short walk and be so exhausted that when I got back I had to lie down.
I grew up on a hill country farm where as a child I would run up and down hills and climb trees all day so becoming so unhealthy that I could not walk 1km was demoralising.

Anyway, back to the story... on that fateful day I had hit my heaviest weight and lowest day ever.... the scales read loud and clear- I was now 140kg (308 lbs) at the young age of 26.
Between sobs of "how could I have let this happen to myself" and absolute hatred for myself, I picked myself up and rejoined Sparkpeople (yes, I had tried briefly before- another "tried and failed" attempt on my list).

Although the weight didn't move (at all!) in the first few months, I slowly grew momentum with healthy choices and exercise. A year on from rejoining, I had lost 19kgs of my planned 45kgs and by February 2010 I had lost 32kgs - with the final stretch insight.

The most exciting aspect of this adventure is finding out in February 2010 that my husband and I were expecting a baby- something that specialists had said we couldn't do, due to my hormonal inbalance's, caused both genetically and due to my weight. October 20th I gave birth to a healthy son, Alex who is my little miracle man.

However, life isn't always rosy and in receiving the greatest gift of all, my beautiful little boy, I inturn lost a ten year relationship. Sadly, my husband and I parted ways officially in March 2012, after many years of trying to make it work, our volatile relationship finally hit an impasse.

I have basically taken a haitus from sparkpeople since January 2012 as I have spent all year trying to not end up in the streets (the ex decided he wasn't going to leave the house- so I had to), fighting for more custody rights for my little boy (I only see him 3/4 days a week) and working a full time job to sustain myself.

BUT I still need to lose those remaining 15kgs (30lbs) and pretending that they aren't tied around my middle isn't helping. So back to it....

Read More About JOSSY23 (Updated December 19)

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