JODIEST    
 
 



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Jodie - Sexy @ 50 or Bust!

The cure to anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea.

I call myself a grazer rather than a binger but I no longer believe they are entirely different animals. I think that graze eating is really just a sub-section of binge eating; a defensive mutation, if you will, which lead me to believe I was no longer abusing food. So, while there is a small distinction between the ways we (bingers and grazers) abuse food, which basically consists of how much food we consume at one ...
The cure to anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea.

I call myself a grazer rather than a binger but I no longer believe they are entirely different animals. I think that graze eating is really just a sub-section of binge eating; a defensive mutation, if you will, which lead me to believe I was no longer abusing food. So, while there is a small distinction between the ways we (bingers and grazers) abuse food, which basically consists of how much food we consume at one sitting, we are pretty much the same otherwise. We use food as anesthesia. Bingers allow uncomfortable emotions to build until they can't tolerate it and then they eat enough to keep the monsters at bay. Me, a grazer, can always hear the faint call of the sea sirens - always - and so i utilize an intravenous drip sort of approach to staying pain free by nibbling here and there and having a few too many bites at dinner, etc. Bottom line, the numbing happens and for moments at a time I forget what hurts or what frightens or what overwhelms.

With SP, I now have in place some structure to my eating which does allow me to eat what I would like to as long as I track it but it doesn't allow me to eat whatever, whenever, like I used to. As one might expect and as I had hoped but was frightened to see - the long buried emotions are appearing and I'm dealing with them the best way I know how. I'm not doing it very gracefully but I'm doing it (with the help from one or two great friends) and for the first time in years I believe I will be able to feel my feelings for lengthened periods without using food to shut them out. I'm certain I won't do it perfectly, i'll probably blow the dismount and the Eastern German judge will kill my scores, but I'm going to do it - bravely, honestly, tactlessly, ineptly and sometimes downright rudely but I'm going to do it. Damn the torpedoes and all that sea going vernacular!!!
Read More About JODIEST (Updated February 26)




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Member Since: 1/2/2012

My Goals:
I want to actually weigh what it says on my driver's license.

My Program:
Be willing.

Personal Information:
I'm a paralegal in a District Attorney's office. I write essays and short stories and I target shoot.

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Member Comments:
TRUEREINVENTED
4/9/2012 7:50:53 PM

Just saying Hi!! Sending you some hope, love and whimsy. :)



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JITZUROE
4/5/2012 2:39:36 PM

Hiya, I am super late in getting out my thank you's, forgive me!
Thank you for your cute comment on my Jeans blog.
Another Spark friend and I were co-miserating about our jeans, and boom, there ya go, I turned it into a whine fest of a blog. Ha!
I am still determined to get rid of those jeans, darn it!

Hope you are having a great day!
Bren




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I-CHOOSE
4/1/2012 2:42:43 PM

Hello Lovely Lady, Thank you for your comment on my page while I was gone. I finally broke down and bought a cheapie computer on Craigslist while I wait for my other computer to get fixed. So here I am.

I'm sending you warm wishes for a Happy, Healthy Spring!!


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DAUGHTEROFTWIN
3/26/2012 12:26:38 AM

Yes, I consulted an orthopedist a handful of years ago. His diagnosis was osteoarthritis. Treatment was an anti-inflammatory that didn't help and a trip to the prosthetics clinic for a custom knee brace that was ultimately impractical. I began taking glucosamine chondroitin and msm. That has helped tremendously, but I knew that the only long-term solution was to lose half my body weight. Exercise has both helped and aggravated the situation.



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TRUEREINVENTED
3/24/2012 4:12:01 PM

Thank you for your comment on my blog. Putting it out there--really unmasks the demon, and you know you are right--I DO view loneliness as a weakness--and I shouldnt.
I know that I just feel that way right now, and I will again, but thats ok--I will be Ok. I am not my mother.
And letting go of the rock, lets me drift down to where I can stand on my own in the shallow water. Thank You Jodie.



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