JFTODAY   2,314
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I'm in this for LIFE

I've been dealing with weight issues all my life. I went from chubby baby to teased child to unhealthy-dieting teen. In adulthood I have been from obesity to healthy weight and back again and everywhere in between.

In 2001, I started Weight Watchers at 242 lbs - my all time high weight (then) Ė and something miraculous happened. All the stars aligned for the first time in my life and I lost over 90 lbs. For some reason, it just worked. I went from a size 22 to a size 8 and ...
I've been dealing with weight issues all my life. I went from chubby baby to teased child to unhealthy-dieting teen. In adulthood I have been from obesity to healthy weight and back again and everywhere in between.

In 2001, I started Weight Watchers at 242 lbs - my all time high weight (then) Ė and something miraculous happened. All the stars aligned for the first time in my life and I lost over 90 lbs. For some reason, it just worked. I went from a size 22 to a size 8 and swore Iíd never be fat again.

A couple of years later, we started a family. I had three pregnancies between 2003 and 2007 and I have two healthy living children today who are the light of my life. At the end of my last pregnancy, I was 40 years old and 265 lbs. Another new all-time high weight.

2007 was an A$$-kicker of a year to say the least. My family suffered several losses and health crises. Most significantly, both my parents died 4 months apart. Grieving my parents did not get the priority it deserved because I was caring for a newborn and a 3 year old at the same time. Not to mention being a wife and working full time. The losses weighed on me heavily (pun intended) and it felt like I was living in a fog for about five years.

I woke up one day in 2011 weighing yet another new all-time high of 282. Unbelievable! I began considering weight loss surgery. In September of 2011, I rejoined WW in a last ditch effort to handle things on my own. I lost 14 lbs before Christmas, then gained 10 back. Lost that 10 again in February, gained it back in March.

In May 2012, I hit a serious emotional low. I could not stand where I was with my weight. How I looked did not bother me as badly as how I felt, which was helpless, hopeless, lethargic, and depressed. I feared dying early and leaving my children motherless at a young age.

I hauled myself back into the meeting room for another go. I started eating on plan. I knew that something had to be different at an emotional (mental, spiritual?) level for me to succeed. I came to Spark People for the extra motivation and courage that I desperately needed.

I've discovered that good food choices *feel* good and lead to more good choices. I'm making an effort to move more. At this point I have a hard time seeing myself ever becoming an exercise lover. But I read stories all the time where exercise-haters like me grow to love working out. So I'm opening my mind to the possibility at least.

Iím in the thick of this process now, feeling good about what Iíve accomplished, and sometimes still disheartened when I think of how far I have to go. I read on someoneís SP page a quote that keeps me going when doubt creeps in, ďA year from now, youíll wish you started today.Ē

It does not matter how long it takes. Iím in this for LIFE.
Read More About JFTODAY (Updated August 31)




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Member Since: 6/28/2011

SparkPoints: 2,314

Fitness Minutes: 105

My Goals:
I have about 100 lbs to lose to reach my WW Lifetime goal weight again. My loose time frame is to do this in 5 years (before I'm 50). My main goal is to transform my mind and my lifestyle permanently, however long that takes.

My Program:
I'm following the WW plan of eating. Also I'm reading, writing, and meditating on the mental changes that need to take place for true change to occur. I'm a life-long non-exerciser who is considering how to become more active.

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Member Comments:
NIXY72
1/3/2014 11:38:49 PM

Wanted to stop by and wish you a very Happy New Year! I'm finally back (it's been soooo long!) and just wanted to let you know that I've missed you and that I look forward to reconnecting. Hope you are doing well and that 2014 will be your best year yet!

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NIXY72
1/27/2013 7:37:49 PM

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I just wanted to say hi and tell you that even though I've been away from SP for the past several months (bogged down with work and stress) I am looking forward to ending the mighty-year-of-challenges that has plagued me this past year and start fresh soon... I may be still a bit scarce around here for the next little while but I did want to let you know that I've been thinking of you and hope you are doing well in life, in happiness, and in your journey.





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ANNESYLVIA
10/18/2012 7:39:01 PM

Okay, so that particular 40ies team may not be for you but there are several more for us "hot 40 year old" Heck, when I have the time I going to check out peri-menopause teams. LOL! But no seriously I am going to check one out in fact, a friend just suggested one recently. I am just a bit crazy busy these days.





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NIXY72
7/24/2012 11:28:49 AM

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Today you have the choice to be amazing. Today you can do more than just try. You can succeed. You can be victorious. Today, you can rock your world. You can look yourself in the eye and smile... because you know that you are fighting for an amazing cause: YOU. And YOU are absolutely worth fighting for.

You can also do the same thing tomorrow.

"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up." - Vince Lombardi

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In honour of the upcoming Summer Olympic Games this Saturday in London, I give to you the Olympic Creed which is as true for the games as it is for achieving our own goals and dreams each and every day:

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well."

Today, you are a superhero, a survivor, a warrior, and a beacon to others for honouring yourself, your mind and your body; for making the choices that will make you an even better person tomorrow.

Today you are one step closer, because you decided to be. Fight strong, fight well, fight fair.

"Never, never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

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CANNIE50
7/20/2012 12:00:52 AM

Thank you so much for taking time to read my blog about addiction, and for your kind comment.
PS Nice work on setting down some of the excess weight - it's a relief, isn't it? emoticon



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