JEANBIA   22,009
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Jean's Journey

My journey started almost 57 years ago, it has been long and like all it has sometimes been hard and frustrating. Of course the Journey started the day I was born and unaware as a children things happened; those things created reactions, reactions created emotions and emotions created patterns.
I was born in Arizona being # 4 in a family of 5 children, I was also #4 in less than 5 years. We were poor and life was a struggle but our life was also simple because of this. We did have many ...
My journey started almost 57 years ago, it has been long and like all it has sometimes been hard and frustrating. Of course the Journey started the day I was born and unaware as a children things happened; those things created reactions, reactions created emotions and emotions created patterns.
I was born in Arizona being # 4 in a family of 5 children, I was also #4 in less than 5 years. We were poor and life was a struggle but our life was also simple because of this. We did have many good times but always those good times focused around food. Some physical activity was involved when it came to picnics but not really very much. Habit learned: food and happiness go together.

Jump forward a few years, some abuse took place and I remember being scarred, felt there was one way to solve these emotions, to eat and feel better.

I am now in a pattern of eating to feel better and get rid of frustrations and not very active. I didn't know I had formed this pattern, it just happened as life happened.

In my teens the weight really began to pack on, I feel ugly, I am teased about my weight by family members. I weight 150 lbs and am 5'7" feeling like I am the biggest blimp that ever lived.

Off and on dieting begins thinking I'll get it off and all will be well. I make a little progress at times but always fall back into the old pattern that feels so comfortable. I still don't do a lot of physical activity. My parents try to watch my weight for me but it only frustrates me.

I get married now weighting 170 lbs but had gotten up to 180. I can't wait to be my own boss with my food. Well, I did and with in 6 month was up to 200 lbs. I have never been back to that weight since which is going on 34 years ago.

Feeling no power to control this mess I am in I resort to stomach stapling at the age of 37. I get into exercising and loos 90 lbs from 303. I still have emotions that are out of control. After working hard to get where I was, I got on the scale one day and thought I should have lost more weight since I had hit a plateau and it didn't happen. I became angry and started spinning out of control and over time let it almost all come back on again. I am now in a pattern that tells me I am a worthless looser and never want to try anything to loose weight.

I think at this point there was a great benefit to my stomach stapling since I had cast all care to the wind and was eating what I wanted I at least didn't go higher than where I had been. The staple job keep me from over eating a lot of things and I would feel full much quicker. Unfortunately I was eating a lot of chips, candy and pop.

After a number of years like this I decided to try again and did pretty well and got down to about 220 but I got very fatigued with some events going on in my life and I lost control once again.

Now I have told myself I can't go through these emotions any longer because I do so well and get on a high than I crash and hit a new low emotionally.

After joining Spark People back in 2006 I started filling my mind with healthy information and good eating habits on a daily basis and I started to see that only thing that was keeping me from really making progress was my own mental emotional state. I had to learn how to over come those things. I also started watching the biggest looser, I saw my son loose a lot of weight, I say friends make changes and I saw people putting discipline in their lives and realized I was my own worst enemy. I started believing I really could do this but I had to make hard choices when I didn't really want to but the more I made the choice the better I felt. The more I exercised the better my clothes fit and the expression "nothing taste as good as skinny feels" began to make a lot of sense to me.

This past July I booked a flight for my husband and I to go to San Diego and after I booked the flight I realized I would most likely not be able to fit in the seat belts on the plane. I had 4 weeks till we were going to leave. I bought some Alli and went to work. I got enough weight off to fit in all the seat belts except the last leg of the trip on the way home. By this time I am feeling so good I just want to keep going. I exercised for over an hour and most days two hours while on vacation by swimming and walking on the beach.

I continue to exercise at least 300 calories off a day and usually more. I give myself one day off a week.

Using Spark People everyday to log in and add points and track food and exercise keeps the daily challenges always in front of me, rather than in the past going to weekly meeting that you would think about a few days before the weight in. I love Spark People and look forward to being at my goal some time this summer and by my birthday on May 3rd I want to have lost 100 lbs. It will take work and resistance but I will get there since I finally know I can believe it.

There is really a whole lot more that could be added to this story but for now this is enough.

Haven't met my goal as planned but hope to kick it us with my new weight loss for Ryan starting June 13 through September 1st

Once again I am back to write on my blog. It looks like it was a year ago when I last wrote. It is now October 28, 2013. I am still trying, struggling, working and what ever else I could say I am doing to achieve my goal and goals. I hope to write more in a few days. There is so much I have learned and I need to put it in writing so it stays in my mind and I can turn back to it to remind myself of what I have learned because it slips away so easily.
Read More About JEANBIA (Updated December 10)




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Member Since: 4/22/2006

SparkPoints: 22,009

Fitness Minutes: 41,054

My Goals:
Want to concentrate on balance and learn moderation as a way of life with the end result loosing at least 90 lbs.

My Program:
keeping in the 1600 calorie range, seeking to be more active in a number of different way.

Personal Information:
Small town in Iowa called Garnavillo is my home.

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Member Comments:
PAMKIPPING
6/25/2006 9:14:30 PM

Hi Jean,
How are you doing? I miss hearing from you. I hope and pray you are okay. I continue to keep you in my daily prayers.
GOD BLESS YOU,
PAM K.



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PAMKIPPING
6/20/2006 8:57:15 PM

Hi Jean,
HOW ARE YOU DOING??? I miss hearing from you. Are you still doing the Spark program? I have lost 15 lbs. I went to the doctor on Thursday and he was really thrilled. My kids were here this weekend and they could tell I have lost more. So that made me feel good. I got on the scale Monday and I didn't lose any more, but I wasn't surprised because I just weighed on Thursday.
Let me hear from you. I am praying for you.
BLESSINGS & PRAYERS,
PAM K.



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PAMKIPPING
6/13/2006 9:54:42 PM

Hi Jean,
How are you doing? How did your week go? I weighed in yesterday and I didn't lose any more weight. I was really bummed. But I guess I have to be thankful I didn't gain any. So I just have to keep trying. I hope you had a better week than I did. I have been praying for you. I pray our Lord will bless you in a very special way.
GOD BLESS YOU,
PAM K.



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PAMKIPPING
6/6/2006 1:29:40 PM

Hi Jean,
I am so glad you weighed in. Really 3.2 lbs. for 2 weeks messing up isn't bad. That is how I felt about the 2 lbs. I gained in the 1 week. We have to keep after each other. It is so awesome to have you to share with because we both know how hard it is to lose weight. But I know it can be done because I lost 90 on my own a couple years ago. I gained back 25 but I have lost 10 of that now. Anyway hang in there and we have m there and we have to take responsibility for our actions. We need to pray that we can be healed of our adiction to food. And we have to keep praying for each other that we can eat responsibly. Like my twin sister called me this morning and she is having bad financial difficulties. I know she is stress eating but I can't do anything but pray for her. My husband & I are going to the mountains of Colorado for the month of August again & we won't have access to an internet. I am worried what will happen to me then. Just know I am praying for you daily and I appreciate you praying for me.
BLESSINGS & PRAYERS,
PAM K.



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PAMKIPPING
6/5/2006 10:40:54 PM

Hi Jean,
I truly understand how you feel. I absolutely did not want to get on the scale this morning but I made myself. Because I was afraid if I didn't I would go deeper into trouble and give up. So I was surprised it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Because I was eating everything in sight. Then when the neighbor sent this delicious lemon cream pie over with her husband I couldn't resist it. I had a heck of a time trying to figure out the calories of the piece I had eaten. Another bad thing we didn't exercise the week with the company along with eating too much. I WILL DOUBLE UP ON MY PRAYERS FOR YOU.
Hang in there I know you can do it. Don't give up. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13. I have a tile of that scripture on my kitchen sink so I can see it every day.
BLESSINGS, PRAYERS & HUGS,
PAM K.



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