Age is graceful
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Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Last week, in the first of 10 Tips on Maintaining Your Motivation, I talked about the importance of framing your healthy lifestyle goals in positive language.
There is, however, one very basic and important goal that everyone should have on their list, and it really needs to be expressed in the strongest possible negative terms: Do NOT do this, EVER!
So, what is this one thing you should never do? Read Tip #2 to find out...
The one thing you should never, ever do is tell yourself you’re not motivated.
I don’t care how unmotivated you feel, or how often you end up not sticking to your eating and exercise goals. None of this means you’re not motivated, and telling yourself that is what it means is really the only thing you can do that will actually wreck your motivation.
You can survive and overcome virtually any obstacle or problem you run into on your path to a healthy lifestyle–as long as you don’t talk yourself out of trying by saying you’re not motivated. The only time it makes sense to say you’re not motivated is when you really mean that you don’t want to lose weight, eat healthy, or get more fit. If you do want those things, then you’ve got all the motivation you need, even if it looks to you like you must not want them enough to do what’s necessary to make them happen.
You just have to figure out how to tap into that motivation at the right time. Telling yourself that you’re not motivated is really the only thing that can keep you from learning how to do this.
Feeling motivated is what happens when the decisions and choices you’re making are consistent with your goals. Feeling un-motivated is what happens when you’re not really making conscious choices at all–you’re just responding mindlessly to various triggers in your environment, or operating on “autopilot” based on old habits and conditioned behavior. To put it another way, you could say that the opposite of feeling motivated is feeling helpless, powerless, or unable to make the “right” decisions. But it’s hardly ever true that you actually are helpless, powerless or unable to make the choices you want.
What is pretty rare is for people to make choices that are truly inconsistent with their goals. Unless someone or something is literally forcing us to do something else, we normally do pretty much what we actually want to do. The problem is that we almost always want more than one thing, and sometimes one thing we want isn’t consistent with another one.
In practical terms, this usually translates into a conflict between immediate gratification (like eating what you want when you want it, or chilling on the couch instead of exercising) and delayed gratification (like eating and exercising the way you know you need to if you want to lose weight and feel better down the road).
The big mistake people often make is thinking that, if you’re “motivated,” it will be easy to say “no” to the immediate gratification and “yes” to the delayed gratification, because that’s what you “really” want. That’s nonsense. And it’s also a mistake to assume that delayed gratification is inherently superior to immediate gratification. We all want both our immediate satisfactions and the satisfaction of achieving a longer term goal–that’s the way we’re built, and we need both types of gratification to stay sane, healthy, and functional.
Getting down on yourself for wanting the immediate gratification is to deny half of who and what you are–and that will always cause more problems than it could ever solve. But that’s exactly what you do when you tell yourself that you’re “not motivated” when you go for the immediate gratification at the expense of your longer term goal. You are motivated, you've just made a choice between two different things you want.
The great irony here is that telling yourself that you’re not motivated is really the only thing you can do that will actually keep you from making the choices you want . If you simply admit that you want two different things, and will usually have to make a choice between them, you give yourself the ability to actually make that choice. You might decide to make one choice now, and the opposite one later, but that’s fine. You’ll know that it’s you making the choice, not some character defect or some mysterious problem called “lack of motivation.” And you’ll know that you can make the other choice any time you want to do that. No more wasting time and energy wondering what’s wrong with you or your motivation.
So, here are your assignments for this next week:
# Take “I’m not motivated” out of your vocabulary.
# Refuse to put yourself down for going for the instant gratification when you do that. Instead, ask yourself whether you stopped and gave yourself time to make a real decision, or whether you were on autopilot.
# Do some thinking about how you can keep yourself off autopilot and in decision-making mode more of the time.
In next week’s blog, we’ll talk more about switching off the autopilot and being more mindful.
Do you feel unmotivated a lot? Do you think that’s really true, or could you be sabotaging your own motivation by expecting that “being motivated” means it will be easy to make the “right” choice all the time?
Feb 14--12 lbs gone
March 3 --16lbs gone
---a good mani and pedicure. Thinking of french nails
(I do earn a birthday present)
June 23rd--48lbs gone-- almost 50 yeehah
August 14th--61lbs gone
Happy wedding anniversary
Hubby buys me a new wedding band. the old one wont fit
August 18th--64lbs gone
October 13th 80lbs wow
Happy Bday Darling
Dec 8th 96lbs Hallelujah
Injury time (need I lose more?)
At the moment, I am trying to increase my water intake. I lived in a much warmer area five years ago, and since I moved to this colder place, I lost my sense of thirst. I don't or didn't feel thirsty at all. Well now I am not letting myself to be moved by feelings anylonger. I drink if I feel as to or not. The feelings can come later if they wanna. Tracking my eating also. My nutrition goal at the moment is 1200-1550kcals a day. Trying to sort out my pitfalls and develop strategies to avoid them in the future. Doing a walking program along side.
Noticed in the past I tend to overdo things at the beginning and lose the motivation somewhere along the line. Want to avoid that this time around. By the way: In 2008 I am moved to heigher heights in all areas of my life. Even in my weight loss.
In 2009 I am empowered for greater works.
So by August 14(Our weddin anniversary, 4 years of unconditional love) my husband is getting a new wife
I live in Dortmund, a town in the Northwest of germany, two hours from the famous Cologne. Married to the greatest man in the world. I am christian, or better said a believer.
I started sparkpeople 2008 under a false conception. My scale was faulty and it showed 10kg less. Who doesnt desire such a scale? that ws the weight i was at a year before. I guessed it stopped working then. When i bought a new scale, the shock was too great, that it robbed me of my motivation. dont know how i could let a scale do that to me. now I am back on track, I've cleaned the slate, and I am moving forward. Weight ain't nothing but a number..Losing weight is just a game of numbers..
Doing the will of God, even in my daily activities, ministry. Worship, Reading the bible, fellowship
Hobbies: My husband
When I find time despite my busy schedule, i watch:
1.The Patriot. My husband and I have watched this more than 100 times.
2.Prison break. Took a whole weekend free to watch all up to season
3.sing, write some..etc
Verses for this year 2008
1 Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.
2 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and the treader of grapes him that soweth seed;
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
| Pounds lost: 6.0
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How often we fail to appreciate what we have already accomplished. Take a moment, right now, to congratulate yourself on what you have accomplished today, this week, in your lifetime.
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2502 days ago
WHEW do my feet hurt, been walking a lot!!
......oooO................ I walked all the way over to your page
.....(....)................. to say YOU CAN DO IT! Keep on keeping on!
Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!
2513 days ago
Just stopping by to wish you a splendid day, and to remind you to keep yourself focused on your goal. YOU CAN DO IT!
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it!!
"Mark 14:38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.
1Co 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
2543 days ago
Hey, it's been a while. Just stopping in to see how you are doing and to wish you a wonderful week!
2609 days ago
I am so happy that you are still an active member of 4-D girl if you have any idea let me know or post them on the team page... Love Ya and may God Bless
2685 days ago