HEALTHAPPY   4,494
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4,000-5,499 SparkPoints
 
 
L: Oct. 16, 2009--240 lbs (w/ Jake Bundrick of Mayday Parade) ** R: Feb. 23, 2010--212.4 lbs





Right around my heaviest at 240-250 in fall '09. Bad angle? Probably. "Holy crap..."? Definitely.





Senior prom. This is the girl I'm trying to find again--she's in here somewhere. I was 188 that day. It's not written down anywhere, but I remember trying so hard to be in the 180s for that dress.



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Getting off this weight rollercoaster!

I am DONE being the fat girl.

First and foremost. I really am so darn tired of it. I'm the quintessential "fat friend," though I know none of the people I love would ever tell me that. I'm the "but you're awesome, and you have a great personality, and you're smart, and you're funny, and...." Don't you dare say I'm pretty, or, heaven forbid attractive. We all know the fat friend isn't allowed to be.

So, two years after starting and succeeding with Spark, I'm back. ...
I am DONE being the fat girl.

First and foremost. I really am so darn tired of it. I'm the quintessential "fat friend," though I know none of the people I love would ever tell me that. I'm the "but you're awesome, and you have a great personality, and you're smart, and you're funny, and...." Don't you dare say I'm pretty, or, heaven forbid attractive. We all know the fat friend isn't allowed to be.

So, two years after starting and succeeding with Spark, I'm back. Because sometimes life happens, and you end up right back where you started. So here we go...get me off this darn weight rollercoaster!!

My DONE GIRL statement:
I am DONE.
I am DONE not feeling good enough.
I am DONE putting myself down.
I am DONE being ashamed of what I look like.
I am DONE wearing a size 16 (as of 2 weeks ago!)
I am DONE letting other people decide my happiness.
I am DONE making excuses. Slip-ups happen.
I am DONE being too shy to talk to *him*.
I am DONE with hopelessness.
I am DONE feeling sorry for myself.
Most importantly, I am DONE being the fat girl.
Read More About HEALTHAPPY (Updated December 27)




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My Ticker:

 current weight: 255.0 
 
257
250.25
243.5
236.75
230


 
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Profile

Member Since: 1/4/2010

SparkPoints: 4,494

Fitness Minutes: 5,936

My Goals:
Obviously, one of my goals is to lose weight. 160 is the final target. I came dangeroously close to breaking out of the 200s for the first time in 3 years, then lost it all. Slowly but surely I'll get back there.

Overall, my absolute highest goal is a little superficial. I want to wear a bikini on the beach. More than anything. And I'm going to do it. And also be healthier and happier and whatever ;)

(Date surpassed)
230--1/9/10
220-- 1/29/10
210-- 3/9/10
200--
190--
180--
170--
160--

My Program:
Controlling my eating and getting through Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. Day 1 was July 16th, August 14th will mark the end of my 30 days. Hopefully I'll see some magical results by then.

Personal Information:
Physical Stats (Jan '10):
Height: 5' 8"

Jeans: 16
Dress: 16/18
Shirt: XL
Bra: 40DD

Ideally:
Jeans: 12
Dress: 12
Shirt: L
Bra: 36C

I haven't been a C cup since around junior year in high school. I miss it. I was a 36C then, and I'm just not happy with my (ahem) monstrous chest right now.

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Member Comments:
WOLFKITTY
10/4/2012 2:12:06 AM

Psst.. let's get together and take a "d" Done Girl picture!

Are you coming to our SparkRally?

It would be great to see ya! The date is Sunday, 10/7 at 11 am at the normal place from last year - Panera on Carmel Mtn. Rd.

Our main theme (if there is one besides connecting with other SD SparkPeople and "Spreading the Spark") is planning healthy living through the holidays.

Please RSVP at the Official SparkRally page if you can:
www.sparkamerica.com/city_sparkrally
.asp?resource=10349

:D
Jocelyn



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LETMEBME
10/19/2011 11:08:54 PM

Came across your page while visiting Team of January 2010. Turns out we both started at the same time, and, just like you, I fell off the wagon and I am currently back where I originally started. I am looking for some new friends, and support on this renewed journey . Hope you don't mind me befriending you :)



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TRYINGINMY20S
6/2/2011 10:35:02 AM

I'm so happy to hear you missed it here!! When I "disappear" I do NOT miss it- mostly because I'm depressed all my spark friends keeps losing and I don't, even though they have bumps along the road they keep going-- and here I am back at my absolute HIGHEST (I'm selfish!!!).

I hope if you do weigh in today that it goes better than you expect. If it DOESN'T-- you know the drill... we HAVE to do this. Next time we check we're going to be even higher than our highest and what good will that do us? none!!! We've got to do this while we're young. Looking around this website is enough of a health scare for me and I'm certain I'd be 300 lbs no problem into my 30's- is that what we want-- definitely not!!

I'm so excited we have the same body shape!! I never really understood until recently that I am an hour glass because it's been buried under fat. But I'm ready to find it, I really am. I hope you are too.

I will help you through this, as long as you help me :) Remember the first week is the hardest. I'm still in my first week too, so let's battle together.

emoticon Alexis



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TRYINGINMY20S
6/2/2011 1:58:04 AM

Welcome back again!!!

Once again my life is paralleling yours- its actually eerie. Yo-yoing is my middle name and I have just restarted as well (but at a higher weight than I started at last time and I was almost half way to my goal!) What's important is you're BACK. You will find the spark again. It took me a long time but I'm finally firmly planted with 2 feet on the ground and going into this guns blazing.

It's so tiring to hear my own excuses over and over in my head, you know?!





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TRYINGINMY20S
9/20/2010 1:44:52 AM

well WELCOME BACK!!!

I'm sorry for your boy problems (read your blog!) but I know once we reach a certain weight it will boost our self esteem and we'll have the pick of the liter ;)

I hope you had a healthy weekend and an even healthier monday!



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