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Always been a bit on the heavier side, not drastically but always a little and have yo-yo dieted a lot. Had a very short time in my life (3 months in 2010) where I felt I was on the road to healthy lifestyle and ideal fitness, still not there, but getting there. It all changed when I moved to Thailand and gave up the gym and took up cheap beer and fried bananas.

I'm now at my heaviest, and least body confident ever, after piling on the pounds over the last year. As I'm quite usually quite confident and at ease with my curves so I didn't really notice to start with. The fact that I don't own a full length mirror and haven't had the money to go shopping an awful lot also helped keep up the illusion. Seeing teeny tiny Asian girls wearing child sized clothing also just made me depressed and feel a bit helpless, so didn't feel inspired to change.

Had a bit of a wake up call when I went underwear shopping yesterday and stood sadly staring in the mirror wondering how I got so pale and chubby, and why my previously generous comfy trousers were beginning to leave red lines on my hips and muffin tops. It's the first time I've ever been in a shop and felt intimidated by the girls working there who are all so petite and perfectly made up. I left in a hurry and came back home feeling ashamed.

I've tried Spark a couple of times before, once with meal plans which I lost interest in, and the second time without meal plans which meant I lost direction. As for the fitness side of things - too far, too fast both times. Feeling particularly unfit and unhealthy at the moment and want to get back on the wagon, especially as everybody around me (especially fitness instructor boyfriend) seems to be getting leaner and trimmer.

I want to get back to my peak fitness and weight which was 58kg August 2010, and feeling confident and toned so that when I go home to visit my family I don't feel embarrassed that I've gotten fat and flabby. And I want to feel sexy again, really sexy. The heat kills my sex drive as it is, I don't need my own body hang ups to add to it.

So that's what I want to happen.

And I want to do it in 6 months.

Member Since: 10/30/2011

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  • v ATR_1983
    Welcome to spark people and to SPclass 10-30-11-5 Good luck on your goals and if you have any question or need support don't hesitate to ask!

    Amber, Coleader of SP class 10/30-11/5
    2180 days ago