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I started back on SparkPeople a year and a half ago - and did quite well, then fell off the wagon, got back on and did well, then fell off the wagon and got back on - thus is the story of my life...but i'm back...and i realize i know why i need to be back - because i need to remind myself every day that i'm worth doing this for...

i started back at LA Weighloss in May and have put back 15 of the 30 i originally took off...I will continue to go to LA Weightloss twice a week for a weigh in - but psychologically i'm in need of some help - it's funny cuz my mom and i decided that today we'd start back - today also happend to be a blind date for me - and i was treated like a princess...from flowers to dinner and then a walk back to my car - and i sit here going..."why would he want me...i should just stop this now...i don't want a man in my life..."...why is it that i don't feel worthy - well, i had no idea that i didn't until tonight - hense the bad relationships...can't decide where this one will lead, but it sure feels nice to feel liked...and i'll be blogging to work through why i don't think i deserve to be happy, loved and love myself!!!!

(You don't have to be religious to enjoy it!)

Dear God,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can imagine only in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking so annoyingly slowly through
the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear.

Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, and to show patience, empathy and love to everyone.

Member Since: 2/20/2007

Fitness Minutes: 1,391

My Goals:
-to travel on a plane (and fit in the seat)
-to go to the movies or a concert and sit in a seat without squishing "in"
-to ride on a ride at a theme park
-to get married/have a serious relationship
-to have a baby

My Program:
Exercise plan, sticking to calories, checking in at LA Weightloss, blogging, taking chances

Personal Information:
I'm born and bread a little north of Toronto, Ontario and just love it. Its a much bigger town than when I was born. I work full time as an emergency dispatcher and just love my job. I have a very close relationship with my mom, brother and grandmother as well as many close and loving friends. I like to think of myself as a positive, hard-working, honest and reliable person. I love "being grateful" and enjoying the ability to be grateful. I believe in a higher power and thank him every day for his blessings.

Other Information:
I love to read, cook, watch tv and go out for dinner...any chance to chat with an old friend is a special day. Give me a novel that takes place in another time or another country and i'm in heaven...a wonderful place to escape.

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 current weight: 450.0 
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