Me and my mom (2007)
GREG32572 is a SparkPeople Motivator!
It's been a long time since I updated my page so here we are
Most of the stuff on my intro doesn't need to change its still all true. I am older now, on the verge of my 44th birthday next month *gasp*
I think I am finally getting to a place where I am willing to do whatever is necessary to save my life. If I don't I won't be here long, and so far I am not living much of a life trapped in my body.
A little bit about me:
*I've battled weight most of my life, survived sexual abuse and a emotionally and mentally and physically abusive childhood.
*I battle food addictions, I am a compulsive over eater, a food addict, an alcohlic, a drug addict, a sex addict, and co-depedentant
*I will never be "cured" of my addictions, but I WILL find peace and usefullness in this life
*I no longer believe I need to fight life with rage and brute force, I did this most of my life. now peace and calm are the path I seek to walk
*I no longer have to be "brutally honest" with people, the only person I must be honest with is myself
*I still believe that standing up for myself and the rights of others is important. I do not believe this must be done violently, nor does everyday have to be a battle. Its about choosing the right causes and working for change, not anger and conflict
*I no longer fight against people, I work for change
*Its becoming less and less important to be RIGHT all the time, I like the quote "do you want to be right or be kind"
*I struggle hard everyday to keep my ego in check and make life NOT about me, but about others.
* I cannot change anyone or anything but myself, I cannot control anything or anyone but myself so why waste the energy trying? We all try to "help" people by trying to make them do what we think is best for them. Maybe even sometimes we do know whats best for them but you cannot help anyone who does not want help.
*I want to focus on learning who I am and what I stand for and less about how I think other people should think and feel because its none of my business. If they need help I want to think I stand ready to help and I will offer my help but if they refuse it then its my job to leave them be because there is nothing I can do for them.
*I am learning that life is about the journey not the destination, far to often I focus on where I am going and miss the miracle of what surrounds me on the way.
Everyday is a work in progress I will never be "done" I will always be learning and moving forward.
"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key" The Eagles (Already.Gone)
Useless Fact about me: Most often times my blog titles are titles of whatever song is playing on my music player as I write.
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I want a better life for myself, I want a healthy and productive life. I do not wish to live in my self imposed prison of fat anymore
I belong to a 12 step program. I have a meal plan that I follow. I am putting together a physical plan that has swimming and tai chi for exercise. I also have a mental/spiritual plan that includes mediation as well as reading and teaching myself because KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
Once again I recommit myself to the fight. I have periods of melancholy and my mood swings so violently from sad to depressed, I do not want this for myself anymore. I need to do the WORK that is necessary to make a better life for myself. I need to take the ACTION that is necessary to make a better life for myself. I have my higher power which I choose to call God handling the big stuff and I have my feet on the ground handling the rest.
" Taking ACTION is the ultimate power of Motivation. Nothing beats it, period."
Written in 2012 by Edgar Ng
| Pounds lost: 114.0
I've been off Spark for many months, gained a ton of weight and once again am starting over.
I know in the past you have helped me and hope you are continuing to do well.
138 days ago
Wow! What a way you have with words! And what a story you have to share! ;-) Thank you for being on SP, and thank you for all that you share!
181 days ago
Thank you for that wonderful post.
208 days ago
How is the Sparkin going? Haven't heard from you in a while! Wishing this day to be one of your best!
370 days ago
Thank you for sharing your story here. Thank you for offering a male perspective in an honest fashion. Your philosophies are forthright and I appreciate being able to read them here. I am in MI, but would like to note that the best lobster I have ever eaten was from a little roadside shack somewhere up near Bar Harbor; what a treasure it was!
502 days ago