This is the page I've created to give me a safe place to come to get me through this journey. It is obviously a work in progress -- just like me!
I'm a 52 year old grandmother "Grammy" to 4 children ages 9, 2, 10 months & 2-1/2 months (with one more on the way). I need as much energy as I can to keep up with them all.
I've been an emotional eater all my life. My parents went through a difficult divorce when I was very young and both used food as a way to "keep me happy" and to get me to talk about what the other one was doing. My mother worked full-time but was raised in the era where dinner was always the biggest meal of the day (complete with meat, potatoes, vegetables and dessert). She made sure there was a full meal on the table every night even though it was usually quite late as she worked till 5 PM daily and insisted on cooking everything from scratch.
Not only was I an only child, but I was the only girl in a neighborhood of 8 boys. While I stayed relatively active, my favorite past-time was spending hours sitting with a good book. I was also trained on the piano very young, and again spent many hours sitting at the piano (not exactly high-end aerobics). All through school I was the good student who worked hard and was quiet. If I wasn't behind the piano playing for a school event, I was behind a book. In junior and senior high school I became the ultimate "Gleek" (Glee Club Geek) with even more hours sitting at the piano and singing, not running and playing. It wasn't a bad life, but it definitely wasn't grounded in physical activity.
I left home right out of high school and easily fell into a work-a-holic lifestyle (work, eat and sleep 24/7, in addition to attending college and completing my master's degree in the evening). My mother passed away from a fatal heart-attack after ignoring all the obvious signs and symptoms. I was only in my early 20's and took her death very hard. I started cooking and baking all the comfort foods that my Mom had raised me with -- and I gladly sat and ate them all by myself. I married in my late 20's and had my only biological child at nearly 30. I then walked blindly through 2 very difficult marriages -- still using food as a way to sooth my hurt.
Ten years ago, I reconnected with my high-school sweetheart and my life became a happy, active place again. Shortly after we married though my husband was in a horrible traffic accident that left him permanently disabled. The accident took a strong, virile man who loved to work and play hard, and turned him into someone who could rarely leave home without a panic attack and living in constant pain. As the primary income for our family I again fell back into the workaholic mode working 2-3 jobs at a time (one full-time and at least one if not two additional part-time jobs all the time). When I wasn't working all I wanted to do was sit and try to catch up on my lost rest. In addition we share 3 children between us and have had our share of trails with our one son who battles drug addiction and has spent most of the past 9 years in and out of jail. This battle has been emotionally draining on both of us.
It's been a long 9 years since the accident, and my husband's condition has improved in very small increments over that time -- usually in a one-step forward, 2 steps back manner. We are still deeply in love and love to be together. Our strong relationship has kept us together, deeply in love, and moving forward all this time. He's still considered disabled, but is able to get out more often. Unfortunately my weight and lack of physical activity has me at such a point that most days I feel like I can barely get off the sofa.
It was just recently during a failed-attempt at purchasing some new work clothes that I decided it was time to get serious about getting some balance back into my life and taking control of my physical and mental condition. I've let life control me all these years; now it's time for me to take back that control and accept the responsibility for making the rest of my life a positive, balanced, healthy time!
To bring my weight back down to a healthier level.
To increase my activity level for the emotional and physical benefits.
Meal tracking is #1 on my list. If I'm keeping track of what goes in my mouth, then I am personally responsible for the results.
Getting back to the gym to improve both cardiac and strength levels.
Secrets of Success
This user doesn't have any secrets of success.
| current weight: 179.0