FAEMYSTIQUE   1,119
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Heading out to the Racetrack, my friends a dragracer...





First salmon of the year, soaking wet but smiling! I lost four before this, and two lures... dangit





Up in Hatcher's Pass at the Independence Mine



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Searching for my will power!

I am an RN from Palmer, Alaska and I work in Anchorage at Providence. I have gone up and down for YEARS... I have never gotten very far for any length of time beyond a couple of months at most, then my will power shatters, or crumbles and bad habits take hold again. My husband says its because I go all "gung ho" and try to climb a mountain before I accomplish climbing the hill. He says I go too far too fast, and then get overwhelmed. There may be something to what he says... I want to be ...
I am an RN from Palmer, Alaska and I work in Anchorage at Providence. I have gone up and down for YEARS... I have never gotten very far for any length of time beyond a couple of months at most, then my will power shatters, or crumbles and bad habits take hold again. My husband says its because I go all "gung ho" and try to climb a mountain before I accomplish climbing the hill. He says I go too far too fast, and then get overwhelmed. There may be something to what he says... I want to be healthier, fit better clothes, look better, feel better...

I struggled with my weight for most of my life. I wasn't a fat kid though, I started gaining weight beyond what was healthy when I hit high school I think. I know that when I was 14, I was 5'10 and weighed 175 pounds and wore a size 9. I then was a size 12, then 14. When I was 16 I weighed 210. I got up to 264 and a size 24 when I was 17, then lost it down to 218 and a size 14.

I was 230 when I got pregnant, and I only gained 15 with one, 18 with the next and lost 27 when I gave birth. Then after my second child, it was a very hard pregnancy... I gained up to 280 by the time she was 2, then I hit 300 when she was 3, then up and down from 280-330. Now two years ago I was 330, in 2007 I got down to 295, now I am back to 325 since last monday at the doctor. Granted thats with jeans and a shirt on... but nonetheless, their scale is more accurate apparently.

I want to be a size 14 again. I would be happy with a size 16 though. But what if I could be a size 10? OMG I was a size 10 in fourth grade when I was 5'7. I want to hike and not get winded, I want to climb a mountain, I want to run 2 miles most days of the week, I want to travel to places and not miss out on awesome side trips because my fitness level is too bad to handle it. I want to hike in exotic places around the world. I want to lay on the beach in Maui and feel like a princess, without a care in the world. I want my husband to be able to pick me up!!! I want to weigh LESS than he does! I want my kids to gain valuable, life lessons on healthy behaviors so they never struggle like I do. I want to dance without stopping for pain. I want to tie my shoes, paint my toenails, clip my toenails, without my gut cutting off my breathing. I want to SEE my feet when I look down, I want to get wolfwhistles, I want guys to flirt with me so I can turn them down because I am married (hehe), I want my husband to feel like he has a super model for a wife! At my height, that could happen...lol. I am always get told I am beautiful, even by all of you who don't know me... but all my life I was the ugly girl in class, the one with no friends, no boyfriends and no life. I was endlessly teased. I was horridly ugly once puberty hit. I want to be that girl at my twenty year reunion that no one recognizes!

246 days ago this feed says I was going to the gym. I quit using sparkpeople, I quit going to the gym and I gained 30 pounds. Now I have to start over again from an even higher weight.

I need to get serious again... my largest challenge is to keep my seriousness and keep my focus and get healthy once and for all.
Read More About FAEMYSTIQUE (Updated December 10)




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 current weight: 347.6 
 
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Member Since: 1/17/2009

SparkPoints: 1,119

Fitness Minutes: 1,826

My Goals:
#1 LOSE 10 pounds
#2 LOSE 20 pounds
#3 LOSE 30 pounds
#4 LOSE 40 pounds
#5 LOSE 50 pounds
#6 LOSE 60 pounds
#7 LOSE 70 pounds
#8 LOSE 80 pounds
#9 LOSE 90 pounds
#10 LOSE 100 pounds
#11 LOSE 110 pounds
#12 LOSE 120 pounds
#13 LOSE 130 pounds
#14 LOSE 140 pounds
#15 LOSE 150 pounds
#16 LOSE 160 pounds
#17 LOSE 170 pounds
#18 LOSE 175 pounds

My Program:
log my food, write in a journal, be accountable, exercise routine so far:



Personal Information:
My name is Carey, originally from Northwestern Wisconsin, but live in Palmer Alaska. I have two daughters who I push to be active so they don't struggle like I do with my weight. I have a husband who is naturally skinny who encourages me to try to be less weight for my health, he worries about me. I love camping, hiking, fishing, knitting, crocheting, crafting, reading, writing, painting, dancing, singing...

Other Information:
I always give up, but I don't want to, I want to find that magic place where will power stays and I lose all the weight I have gained in the last ten years, and then some!

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Member Comments:
JO*ANNE*IE
2/17/2009 2:30:48 PM




Dear Precious Cary: Thank you for visiting me and for touching my heart with your kind words!!! Yes, I adore Annie, too -- such a sweet girl with a beautiful heart!!

Pls know that I remain here for you, Sweets!! I'm only a Sparkmail away!

Blessings,
Joannie
xxxooo



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ABUCHWEITZ
2/14/2009 12:31:04 AM

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
People come and people go,
In and out of your life and so,
When one shines bright among the rest,
And is there when needed, youíre truly blessed.
That is how I see you, friend of mine,
And why Iím sending this Valentine.

Happy Valentines Day
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon




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ABUCHWEITZ
2/12/2009 10:53:51 AM

Thank you so much for the kind words on my page!

First off WAY TO GO on the 13lbs lost already that is FANTASTIC.

To answer your question I have always done the same fitness routine, stretching everyday, a TON of walking, I walked less and slower at first now I walk about 3 miles on my walking days, I also do WATP when im working out at home. I mix in a little strength trianing these days.

You are just at the beginign of your journey so don;t worry about rought days, just do your best to hop back to it the next day/meal.



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HEPKITTY
2/9/2009 12:24:47 PM

Hey there! You commented on my blog last week and I took your advice. I let myself go higher on my cals and lower on my workouts and I ended up losing two pounds! This week I'm keeping my cals in my upper range but I'm adding to my workouts. I think you were so right that I needed to mix things up a bit by going down in intensity instead of always up up up!!!

Thanks!
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DEMORRIS
2/6/2009 7:28:21 PM

My work out schedule is MON -WED-Fri 1.5 to 2 hrs cardio at community fitness center using treadmill, eliptical machine, stairstepper & stationary bike.I started 10 minutes each machine then stretching before and after. Then Tues & THURS I go to the school gym for strength training with other women in community that was taught to us by womens program last year, we just kept program going on our own. emoticon emoticon



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