Heading out to the Racetrack, my friends a dragracer...
First salmon of the year, soaking wet but smiling! I lost four before this, and two lures... dangit
Up in Hatcher's Pass at the Independence Mine
I have 21 pics in my gallery
Searching for my will power!
I am an RN from Palmer, Alaska and I work in Anchorage at Providence. I have gone up and down for YEARS... I have never gotten very far for any length of time beyond a couple of months at most, then my will power shatters, or crumbles and bad habits take hold again. My husband says its because I go all "gung ho" and try to climb a mountain before I accomplish climbing the hill. He says I go too far too fast, and then get overwhelmed. There may be something to what he says... I want to be ...
I am an RN from Palmer, Alaska and I work in Anchorage at Providence. I have gone up and down for YEARS... I have never gotten very far for any length of time beyond a couple of months at most, then my will power shatters, or crumbles and bad habits take hold again. My husband says its because I go all "gung ho" and try to climb a mountain before I accomplish climbing the hill. He says I go too far too fast, and then get overwhelmed. There may be something to what he says... I want to be healthier, fit better clothes, look better, feel better...
I struggled with my weight for most of my life. I wasn't a fat kid though, I started gaining weight beyond what was healthy when I hit high school I think. I know that when I was 14, I was 5'10 and weighed 175 pounds and wore a size 9. I then was a size 12, then 14. When I was 16 I weighed 210. I got up to 264 and a size 24 when I was 17, then lost it down to 218 and a size 14.
I was 230 when I got pregnant, and I only gained 15 with one, 18 with the next and lost 27 when I gave birth. Then after my second child, it was a very hard pregnancy... I gained up to 280 by the time she was 2, then I hit 300 when she was 3, then up and down from 280-330. Now two years ago I was 330, in 2007 I got down to 295, now I am back to 325 since last monday at the doctor. Granted thats with jeans and a shirt on... but nonetheless, their scale is more accurate apparently.
I want to be a size 14 again. I would be happy with a size 16 though. But what if I could be a size 10? OMG I was a size 10 in fourth grade when I was 5'7. I want to hike and not get winded, I want to climb a mountain, I want to run 2 miles most days of the week, I want to travel to places and not miss out on awesome side trips because my fitness level is too bad to handle it. I want to hike in exotic places around the world. I want to lay on the beach in Maui and feel like a princess, without a care in the world. I want my husband to be able to pick me up!!! I want to weigh LESS than he does! I want my kids to gain valuable, life lessons on healthy behaviors so they never struggle like I do. I want to dance without stopping for pain. I want to tie my shoes, paint my toenails, clip my toenails, without my gut cutting off my breathing. I want to SEE my feet when I look down, I want to get wolfwhistles, I want guys to flirt with me so I can turn them down because I am married (hehe), I want my husband to feel like he has a super model for a wife! At my height, that could happen...lol. I am always get told I am beautiful, even by all of you who don't know me... but all my life I was the ugly girl in class, the one with no friends, no boyfriends and no life. I was endlessly teased. I was horridly ugly once puberty hit. I want to be that girl at my twenty year reunion that no one recognizes!
246 days ago this feed says I was going to the gym. I quit using sparkpeople, I quit going to the gym and I gained 30 pounds. Now I have to start over again from an even higher weight.
I need to get serious again... my largest challenge is to keep my seriousness and keep my focus and get healthy once and for all.
| current weight: 347.6
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Member Since: 1/17/2009
Fitness Minutes: 1,826
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log my food, write in a journal, be accountable, exercise routine so far:
My name is Carey, originally from Northwestern Wisconsin, but live in Palmer Alaska. I have two daughters who I push to be active so they don't struggle like I do with my weight. I have a husband who is naturally skinny who encourages me to try to be less weight for my health, he worries about me. I love camping, hiking, fishing, knitting, crocheting, crafting, reading, writing, painting, dancing, singing...
I always give up, but I don't want to, I want to find that magic place where will power stays and I lose all the weight I have gained in the last ten years, and then some!