Yikes! I'm scary.

I like these bicep shots for shock value, when I'm not flexing my arms look pretty normal

Haircut I would get if I wasn't a big chicken


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Hi Sparkpeople, I am mentally in it to win it again and I am soooooooo glad to be back. I had entered a Body For Life Tracker Team challenge in 2008 and my goal was to be in the BEST shape of my life by the time I reached 50, and I DID IT! My team won a cash prize which was pretty cool, but the best part was how great I felt. I was in control of my eating and working out like a fiend, and it made everything else in my life better. I found myself wanting to clean my house more, clean out the clutter, do things to help other people, be a better wife, I could go on and on...I just felt so positive. Unfortunately I took it to the extreme and became somewhat obsessed and got too thin, at least by what everyone else was saying, I of course thought I looked great . I also came to a huge realization. It was a big let down right after the challenge was over. It's not like anyone really cared, it was just another day and it was over. All that work, all that mental energy to reach that goal, and then what? I knew I couldn't go on forever that way and started to eat like a normal person and here I am now back exactly where I started. I think my body wants to be around 165 and I want to be 145. I have been trying to get my brain into that same inner resolve that I had back then for over 2 years now, and last week it happened. My husband got a box of multigrain Cheerios (which I would never eat because they're CARBS oh no!! and processed carbs no less) and on the box was an access code for a free diet plan. I had to check it out because I think I'M the diet guru and know it all. It looked like normal stuff, no two word diets like "low fat" "low carb" "no sugar" etc. but what stuck me was the structure. Just regular meals with no snacking all day whereas I was eating all day long whenever I felt like it, just an apple or a bite of cottage cheese or a little plain yogurt, an orange....good stuff, just constant eating and thiking about food. Trying to build muscle I was going by the bodybuilders idea of eating small meals with protein every 2-3 hours but like I said, I thought about food all day long. So I decided to try something completely different for me which was to eat a real breakfast, a real lunch,and a real dinner including BREAD!!!, ahhhhh carbs!!!! and that's it. Nothing in between, sit down with a plate for every meal instead of eating in the car, or while standing at work etc.
This probably sounds crazy to normal people, but it's a major triumph if you're like me when you're so controlled by thoughts of food, diet, exercise constantly. I feel free, it feels good. If any of this hits home to you, please add me as a friend, let's talk and support each other!!!! Thanks all - Belle

Member Since: 1/18/2010

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Read More About DUMBBELLE - Profile Information moved here. (Updated June 2)

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    Just added you as a friend.....Wish you'd show your face, gorgeous girl. haha.....Thanks for coming by and commenting on my pic. Added you as a friend cuz I think you are a woman who likes to LIVE STRONG!
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    2552 days ago
    Thank you for brightening my day by stopping by my SparkPage!

    Who is Mike Kramer? He is a staff writer for SparkPeople.

    Keep on keepin' on!! You CAN do it!

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    2613 days ago
    Your site is really inspiring. I am staring down the barrel of 40 and you definitely inspire me. emoticon
    2791 days ago
    Hi Belle, great idea! I do get these continuous ramblings going on in my head. LOL I know I actually felt better after I did that blog.
    2797 days ago
  • v JAZZID
    Thanks for commenting on my blog... I actually got Vista because I wanted to get 32bit and not 64bit because I want to make sure that my computer is compatible with any software that I want to install... I had XP professional on my desktop and liked it... Vista is great and has some cool features; I can still do a remote desktop if I have to connect to my job with no problem...

    I would check out Dell, because they advertise deals based on operating system 7, 64bit, but they let you build/customize your own computer, that's what I did... XP would be considered a downgrade, I could have gotten XP, but my son has Vista and it is not that much different from XP from what I can see... I have to get used to how things are organized and the layout of Vista, but it has some extra's that are nice. It is easy to use.

    This is what Dell says about Windows XP if you want to get a computer from them:

    "When you buy a Dell PC system configured with the Windows® 7 BONUS program, ** your PC will come loaded with Windows® XP Professional pre-installed. ** With the BONUS option, you can transition to Windows® 7 when you’re ready. Your BONUS Kit will include a Windows® XP Professional back-up CD which will allow you to re-install or transition back to Windows® XP from Windows® 7 if necessary plus a Windows® 7 Business or Ultimate installation DVD. Transitioning to Windows® 7 is entirely your choice. Windows® 7 BONUS gives you the opportunity to run the XP OS for as long as you like. "

    Other brand name computers may also offer these features but I have only dealt with Dell for the past 6 years and I am very pleased with their products, warranties and customer service.

    I hope that this helped you... If you have any questions regarding Dell let me know.. ~ Dee ~
    2807 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/10/2010 11:41:09 AM
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