I'm still thinking about it. I know it's a big opportunity, and I know it would give me more opportunities. I also know that rent is super cheap in comparison to New England.
It's just that, I'm not sure if I want to study public health anymore. I really wanted to study environmental health, meaning, ecology + human health, but that seems like such an after thought at UMN. I've talked to the two professors that do that in that department, one of them has basically removed herself from the department, and is only there in name, while the other professor seems really uninterested. I really really wanted to go there. The first time I landed in Minneapolis I was in love with the city. Vietnamese restaurants, trees, clean streets, good transportation, cheap rent, a fencing club, a belly dance store, academic departments that actually interact with each other and work together, it all seemed amazing.
It's not just the loans.
Sparkpeople has really helped get me partially out of a funk, but losing weight is only half the battle for me.
I'd love to get up and leave and go to UMN, it would put me in an academic environment where I'd be learning things, and I'd be studying things that could actually make a difference.
But I can't ignore those red flags, and as much as I don't want to stay where I am, I don't want to commit to something when I don't know what I'm going to do afterward, especially at a department where the Professors seem disenchanted with the department.
I believe everything you're saying, I really did fall in love with the campus and the city, and it was really heart breaking for me to go there a second time and realize that I might not be going there.
I'm still writing letters, and I'm still trying, but it's all up in the air. I don't know.
I've thrown around the thought of applying to other departments, because they are doing some interesting stuff that does concern environmental health, and that way I can attend in the spring (I've already deferred up to a year already).
There is also a SEA Semester Program I want to attend (this would be for the fall), and their age limit is 25 (I turn 25 next spring), so this is perhaps my only chance.
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do, an I'm a little nervous because I'm getting older and my career isn't as far as I wanted it to be at this point, but I'm just going to take it one day at a time.
UMN is still on the table, just on the really really far side.
You're probably going to hate me when I say this, but it looks like I probably won't be going to MN. I can't find one Professor that wants to give me funding. The school seems great, the Professors are studying really interesting topics, and Minneapolis, well I'm in love with it. But it looks like it's probably not that place for me. *Sigh*
I know I don't need to do it. I really love swimming. But it's one of those things--- my friends used to run faster than me just to piss me off. Also, on a more practical note, I'd like to run away from dangerous situations when I'm on my own--- but I hopefully won't have to do that. Anyway, it's kind of like a redeeming thing, it's kind of a dumb reason, because the only time I like it is when I'm in my house and I feel like an idiot cause I might slip and fall on my table because my running course is so small and crowded. *sigh* Swimming is greater than Running
Fencing is greater than Everything--- but I have no one to fence with :(