This is the latest photo of me. It was taken July 3, 2009...296 pounds.
I was 3 years old in this one.
My husband, 3 granddaughters, and me...taken July 3, 2009.
My name is Connie. I weighed 304 (as of August 7, 2008)...I've been away from SparkPeople for awhile...I decided today (August 18, 2009) to give this a go again. Currently I weigh 291, but at my heaviest (in Oct 1999) I weighed 404. I have diabetes, a bulging disc in my lower lumbar, neuropathy in my feet and legs, and suffer from sleep apnea and insomnia.
My ultimate goal is to improve my health through beginning to make changes in habits that will last a lifetime.
I am participating in a Biggest Loser contest with a group of people from my church. We are also implementing the benefits of a biblically based study called The Lord's Table (www.settingcaptivesfree.com).
I'm not confident in quick fixes (been there- done that)...diets aren't for me because they prove to be temporary...I'm looking for something permanent.
As I said above, at my heaviest I weighed 404 pounds. That was in 1999. Yes it has taken me 10 years to take off 113 pounds. Mind you, the fact it has taken so long doesn't bother me...I thought to share this with you just in case you may be a bit frustrated by how long it may be taking you to shed the pounds. If you average it up, I have only lost 11 pounds each year...no doubt, I am certain that most people would frown on such sluggish progression...but me, well I don't fret for having lost it so slowly because I know that it is weight that will never be gained again. It was lost gradually (and sporadically) as I have over these past 10 years, through trial and error, learned and been able to apply healthier "habits". Habits are learned behavior. It took me a lifetime to develop habits which have led to my obesity...what is 9, 10, or even 12 years to develop habits which will led to lifelong health and wellness? For me it's worth the wait.
Experiences in my childhood set the course of my attitude and behavior about health and nutrition. Like I said, habits are learned. I was never taken to the doctor, never subjected to healthy meal planning and preparation, and was abused physically, verbally, and sexually. I learned early on (as young as before the age of 7) that I wasn't important, I wasn't loved, I wasn't wanted, I wasn't worthwhile...I learned that the only comfort I had was found in food. It tasted good and made me feel happy (for as long as it took me to eat it)...then I felt bad again for having eaten it...so I ate to feel good...and so on...and so on. (You get the idea).
The self concept (low self esteem, low self confidence, inability to function socially or recognized "normal" social behavior/expectations) imposed upon me from my abusive childhood and the behavior I learned/developed in dealing with my "life" carried over into my adulthood. Thus, I have never been too good about keeping a doctor or having regular checkups. I haven't been good about taking my medication when I was seeing a doctor. I have battled food addiction for as long as I can remember. And at one point in my life I was diagnosed chronically, clinically depressed and suffered from severe anxiety. During hits DARK time in my life I was even suicidal. I was medicated and under the care of a "therapist" until I turned it all over to God...
I gave my heart to Jesus Christ on May 7, 1997. I haven't seen a therapist or taken antidepressants since! I have also (by the grace of God) been able to take what weight I have lost off. I know without a doubt I couldn't have done it without Him...and I know that I will not make the rest of this journey without Him either.
Now they say confession is good for the soul, boy do I know its true! So hereís a bit of confession...my biggest downfall is that I am very good to stick to something for awhile, but then I loose interest or become lazy and ultimately quit...(thus explaining any long hiatus). Another shortcoming: I put the "PRO" in procrastination!
Okay, so that's my story and as long as it may seem, its just the tip of the iceberg...there's so much more...you can send me an email if you have any questions and want to know anything else about me.
My greatest hope in joining SparkPeople is to gain encouragement, motivation, advice/assistance, and friendly fellowship with others who "really know and understand" to help me "keep on keeping on" and realize my dream ~ a healthy, well, vital woman with a high quality life.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired! Old habits die hard, but mine will die before I let them kill me!
I welcome sincere and heartfelt help. Lord bless all who read this. May God be your strength and help you to reach the goals you've set in your effort to improve your health, and to look and feel better.
To improve my health by learning and applying permanent healthy lifestyle changes.
Behavior modification in regards to diet and nutrition and diabetes management.
My name is Connie. I am 44 years old. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 grown children (ages 27, 24, & 21). I am the grandmother of 3 beautiful little girls (ages 8, 6, & 3) with a grandson due October 11, 2009. I am also mommy to one 5 year old chihuahua named Pepper Jack. I am a born-again Christian and a Licensed Exhorter with the House of Prayer.
Feel free to contact me here at SparkPeople and elsewhere on the web:
1] MySpace page here:
2] Find me on CafeMom -
I am GaryzBetterHalf
3] Email me:
You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, & Bebo. (Just search my name).
I love to read, sing, play Brainage and Suduko. My nickname is Cejay and my grandchildren call me Nanny. I attend Abundant Life Ministries Church of God. I am a student and teacher at Peniel Bible School of Ministry; as well as their librarian. I am not employed anywhere but would like to be able to work someday. My idea of the perfect vacation is me, a good book, a whirlpool jacuzzi, a secluded cabin by a lake, moderate temperatures, and a very attentive husband! I am SO dreaming LOL!
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| current weight: 287.0