CRUXAETERNUM   768
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there's more to living than being alive.

My name is Kayla and I've struggled with my weight since before my weight was ever an issue. I just want to find a place where I can be happy with my appearance in the mirror, where I can play outside with my boyfriend and not feel awkward, or even just be able to walk into a store and wear what I think looks cute, not what will camouflage my stomach.

As a child, I was thin. My mother, unfortunately, saw me another way and I suffered verbal abuse for years when it was unwarranted. ...
My name is Kayla and I've struggled with my weight since before my weight was ever an issue. I just want to find a place where I can be happy with my appearance in the mirror, where I can play outside with my boyfriend and not feel awkward, or even just be able to walk into a store and wear what I think looks cute, not what will camouflage my stomach.

As a child, I was thin. My mother, unfortunately, saw me another way and I suffered verbal abuse for years when it was unwarranted. I developed my own eating disorder and have spent years since combating it. Unfortunately, binging without purging just leads to wild weight gain and in the last six years since I moved out I have gained 85 lbs.

I just hope to be able to gain some control in a healthy, rewarding way.
Read More About CRUXAETERNUM (Updated August 28)




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Member Since: 2/12/2011

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Member Comments:
JSMC10
11/22/2012 8:18:52 AM

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Mark Twain

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JSMC10
11/21/2012 3:57:46 AM

Climb The Mountain


I tried to climb the mountain today. As I inched my way up the path, I felt out of breath and had to turn back.
I tried to climb the mountain today. But, It was so hot outside, I thought I had better stay in my nice air-conditioned house and rest up for tomorrow's attempt.
I tried to climb the mountain today. On my journey, darkness started to fall and I was full of fear, so I had to return to a safe place.
I was ready to climb the mountain today. But I had so may other things to do, so instead of climbing the mountain I took care of the much more important tasks; I washed my car, mowed the grass and watched the big game. Today the mountain will have to wait.
I was going to climb the mountain today. But as I stared at the mountain in all it's majestic beauty, I knew I had no chance of making it to the top, so I figured why even begin trying.
I had forgotten about climbing the mountain today, until an old friend came by and asked what I was up to lately. I told him about all my plans to climb that mountain someday. I went on and on about how I was going to accomplish the task.
He stopped me and said, "I just got back from climbing that mountain. for the longest time I told myself I was going to try to climb it but never made any progress."
"I almost let the dream of making it to the top die. I came up with every excuse of why I could not make it up the mountain, but never once did I give myself a reason why I could. One day as I stared at the mountain and pondered, I realized that if I didn't make an attempt at this dream all my dreams would eventually die."
" The next morning, I started my climb. It was not easy, and at times I wanted to quit. But no matter what I faced, I placed one foot in front of the other, keeping a steady pace. When the wind tried to blow me over the edge, I kept walking. When the voices inside my head screamed, stop! I focused on my goal, never letting it out of sight. I kept moving forward. I could not quit because I knew I had come too far to stop now. Time and time again, I reassured myself that I was going to finish this journey. I struggled mightily to make it to the top, but I CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN."
"I have to be going," my friend said. "Tomorrow is a new day to accomplish more dreams. By the way what are you going to do tomorrow?"
I looked at him, with intensity and confidence in my eyes, and said, "I HAVE A MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB."Author unknown

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JSMC10
11/17/2012 7:09:49 AM

I hope you're having a wonderful day! As you can tell, I love quotes lol and I thought this would apply to pretty much everyone, especially myself! Hope you like it emoticon

Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Thomas Jefferson

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JSMC10
11/15/2012 5:14:34 AM

I was looking through some quotes about dreams and this really made me think. It is completely right. I hope to try and live my life by this quote aswell. I hope you enjoy!

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary.
Anonymous

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JSMC10
11/12/2012 8:20:34 AM

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a quote I am trying to live by. I just wanted to share it with you too!

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