1-1-09 236 pounds
CRAZY_CAROLLYNN is a SparkPeople Motivator!
I suffer from a chemical Imbalance form of Depression that seems to make anything and everything so much harder for me. I have many addictions that all stem from the automatic tendency to find excuses, procrastinations, distractions, that always seem to side track my best and genuine intentions. I've gained / lost / gained, been on top of the world to fall back into a deep self dug hole again & again feeling doomed to living a life of failure.
But I've learned more from this SP site than in years of therapy, sports, or college, or even in other programs.
It is only by first honestly accepting our accountabilities that we can be open and true towards whatever circumstances, in order to overcome any barriers, correct defective behaviors or circumvent outward obstacles, to then make a better life towards where ever we would like to go or who ever we want to become. The only way to do that... is to be willing to act, to just TRY, to continue to take even the smallest of steps.
I can achieve anything and everything I desire; all I have to do is have Faith, Focus, and Fervor to diligently move forward with the tiniest little steps inline with my goals.
It is by merely taking action that I can be released from negatives of the past, let go of guilt and fear, to relax and be freed from obsession. All I need to think about is the best choice available in the small step needed FOR RIGHT NOW. If and when I make mistakes, (and I always will,) I only need to decide on a small smarter choice substitution, and LET IT GO to keep moving forward and living in the present.
Whenever this simple solution seems unobtainable, I can phone a friend, use an outreach angle, hit a meeting, log into spark people, read some literature, take a walk...etc. Alone against it all I am powerless, but I am far from helpless because I am never alone.
To muster the courage and strength to keep trying in faith that I / it will be OK, (Good, bad right or wrong doesn't even matter) the answer to failing is simply anewed action and celebrated success. Long term happiness automatically results from this thinking and living. It is only by our mistakes that we learn, we must try and fail before we can expect to succeed. Without trying, we automatically fail and gain nothing for our time on this world.
Its not about loosing weight for me, not about finding a diet that I can afford and live with. This is about creating my own custom Healthy Lifestyle, internal, external, and eternal... PROCESS, a new way of thinking and living with an automatic by-product of happiness.
Progress over Perfection.
Target weight: 130-140 lbs.
Target Lifestyle: Active and Outdoorsy.
I want to be able to run, dance, and play free again instead of feeling like Im having a heart attack, busting a vein, or killing myself.
I WANT TO STRUT, and feel fantastic on the inside and out.
A Sparky combo of meeting daily Nutritional needs, Calorie Counting,
Glycemic Indexing &
Incorporating exercise into daily life activities is paramount for me, small smarter choice substitutions.
I LOVE SPARKPEOPLE!!!
I want to thank you all for being so supportive and helpful!
Love science, Sci Fi, fantasy / fiction, Rock Music. I'm very courious, outspoken & opinionated and often long winded. I
prefer playing sports over spectating-& I'm seeking a companion to play with.
7000 cal/2 pounds'aweek.
Deficit of 1000 a day.
In less by -300 to-500
Ex out by 300 to 500
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