Max and I 10/24/15
December 2007 282
Shared Food & Fitness Trackers
CONFUSEDBIRD is a SparkPeople Motivator!
I have been a member here on Spark since December 2007. It all started as a new years resolution and 6 yrs later I am still here doing the best I can. When I joined my weight was at 282. I have always struggled with weight, even as a little kid I was always the biggest kid in all of my classes all through school. Lost 80lbs when I was 19 and then gained it back and some. So at 23 I started this journey for myself, not anyone else. At my lowest so far I got down to 151 and then been bouncing around for awhile. Losing the weight was the fun part. Reaching maintenance is what is hard. There will always be stresses in our lives and it's hard not to turn to food to make us feel better, gotta just do the best you can with what you got, each and every day.
I try to stay motivating with the lifestyle by signing up for races and always having something to work toward. I used to hate running, I was the kid who hid her shoes in gym class or faked cramps on running day. Now I have run 1 full marathon and 3 halves. I try to always change up my exercise and not get bored. I WERQ, water aerobics, bike commute and run. I also have a job at a health food store and that helps to talk to ppl and stay motivated with healthy eating. Always finding new veggies and fruits to try and keeping up a love for cooking. Which I never had before I gained this lifestyle. Now it's like therapy to me along with my fitness.
Just gotta do your best each and every day!
I am not really looking at weight as a goal anymore. Right now I am trying to experiment with dropping some weight to see if my running improves by being lighter. My weight goal has always been 140 but I have a muscular build so I donno if that's even feasible for me. My weight training is more important then a number on the scale. My goal is to become a brick lol
I workout at least 5- 6 days a week. I enjoy doing a lot of cross training. I run 2-days a week, Take dance classes 2-3 days a week, water aerobics and do some weight lifting
My name is Julia, Julie or Jules, whatever you wanna call me. I am 28 yrs old. I am 5'3 which I think I should add here. I always see ppls pics and wonder how tall they are so I can compare myself lol I am a shorty so I hope that helps someone lol
I graduated from Southern Illinois University with a bachelors in Photography. I am currently working for two business. I work at a health food/Organic Grocery store. Also work for an online book business. Which keeps me pretty active packing and shipping books. Lots of lifting which I enjoy actually. I also have a love for animals, I might even like them more then humans haha I have 3 dogs, 2 cats, 4 turtles, 2 blue tongue skinks, 1 bearded dragon and 1 cockatiels.
I live in Bloomington Illinois. I have a membership to the goldsgym here (the big one). Member of the Bloomington Nomal group. If you go and see me on here, can always use a buddy!
I have known men a lot of who were extremely controlling, mostly conservative men, so I'm really grateful my dad isn't like that. I can be truthful with my dad. My mom was a strong willed person who wanted her way, even if it wasn't right. She was that way with my father as well as me. I think some of it comes from being needy. If we didn't submit then she would punish and pout. In situations like this someone is always miserable. That tends to lead to avoidance for me, which is a form of control, not necessarily a good coping mechanism but one anyway. I don't like confrontation so if people are pushing me too hard I disappear. When I do stay and fight I tend to be too good an opponent, like my hubby says. He gripes and says, "No fair, you lose logic and fairness!" LOL. It tends to leave the other person with an extreme sense of guilt. Usually I can tell my hubby to stop being selfish and he will be objective and see what I mean. Not so with my mom. It would end up with her in tears, her pouting, her attitude of "you don't love me, just let me die". Not therapeutic. Compromise is hard but the best way.
As far as control issues, some things are your right to control. Max is your and Scott's child and you legally and morally have the right to decide what is best for him. You can still listen to other advice and weigh it but the decisions are intimately yours. My mom didn't respect those boundaries. The pediatrician said no solid food before 6 months and mom disregarded it. We wanted him to not be given any candy until he was older and she ignored that.
I think in some regards that being controlling is natural for mothers. We are the ones chiefly intrusted to insure a child's safety. You walk a fine balance between wanting to protect them and wanting them to achieve independence. No one wants to be the mother whose child is totally unsupervised and in the E.R. every week with a broken arm, third degree burn, etc. These things happen enough to attentive parents and they scare us. So we tend to become overly protective. We don't want our child to suffer but they have to.
We tend to let Ian have the reigns in our relationship. We try not to bother him unless we need to so we don't get to see him but a few times a year or even talk to him on the phone but once every 1-3 months. We don't want to be pushy and needy. We would prefer that he think of us more than he does but we are not going to make his life more difficult. We want him to be happy. That is what is important to us.
84 days ago
Comment edited on: 4/1/2016 9:41:36 AM
IDK what the name of the drug is. It's very expensive, and the doc gave Dan a pamphlet to fill out so he can get it for free. Basically, the insurance pays part, and the drug company picks up the copay. Dan's all about taking a drug to solve his problems. He's been taking medication for anxiety for 15+ years! It was supposed to be temporary. But, he has a shrink who likes to sign his name on a pad of paper. I'm very irritated about the whole thing.
Ryan hit 5 days on MFP yesterday, and I got his teachers at school in on the action. His classroom teacher gives him a few minutes after recess to log his food, and he's even allowed to bring his tablet to school and use the WiFi on it. And his PE teacher has a heart monitor strapped to him for PE class this week and helps him log his cardio. So I have that going on right now. It truly takes a village.
112 days ago
THERE. happy? hehe
114 days ago
Comment edited on: 3/2/2016 1:52:45 PM
Dan took yesterday off and went to the doctor. Diabetes is spinning out of control. Doctor gave him a new drug to try. Didn't even test his blood sugar. What the heck. :(
114 days ago
thank you!! life can get so crazy! im glad they are old enough to where i can start taking some time for myself again =)
118 days ago