Max and I 10/24/15
December 2007 282
Shared Food & Fitness Trackers
CONFUSEDBIRD is a SparkPeople Motivator!
I have been a member here on Spark since December 2007. It all started as a new years resolution and 6 yrs later I am still here doing the best I can. When I joined my weight was at 282. I have always struggled with weight, even as a little kid I was always the biggest kid in all of my classes all through school. Lost 80lbs when I was 19 and then gained it back and some. So at 23 I started this journey for myself, not anyone else. At my lowest so far I got down to 151 and then been bouncing around for awhile. Losing the weight was the fun part. Reaching maintenance is what is hard. There will always be stresses in our lives and it's hard not to turn to food to make us feel better, gotta just do the best you can with what you got, each and every day.
I try to stay motivating with the lifestyle by signing up for races and always having something to work toward. I used to hate running, I was the kid who hid her shoes in gym class or faked cramps on running day. Now I have run 1 full marathon and 3 halves. I try to always change up my exercise and not get bored. I WERQ, water aerobics, bike commute and run. I also have a job at a health food store and that helps to talk to ppl and stay motivated with healthy eating. Always finding new veggies and fruits to try and keeping up a love for cooking. Which I never had before I gained this lifestyle. Now it's like therapy to me along with my fitness.
Just gotta do your best each and every day!
I am not really looking at weight as a goal anymore. Right now I am trying to experiment with dropping some weight to see if my running improves by being lighter. My weight goal has always been 140 but I have a muscular build so I donno if that's even feasible for me. My weight training is more important then a number on the scale. My goal is to become a brick lol
I workout at least 5- 6 days a week. I enjoy doing a lot of cross training. I run 2-days a week, Take dance classes 2-3 days a week, water aerobics and do some weight lifting
My name is Julia, Julie or Jules, whatever you wanna call me. I am 28 yrs old. I am 5'3 which I think I should add here. I always see ppls pics and wonder how tall they are so I can compare myself lol I am a shorty so I hope that helps someone lol
I graduated from Southern Illinois University with a bachelors in Photography. I am currently working for two business. I work at a health food/Organic Grocery store. Also work for an online book business. Which keeps me pretty active packing and shipping books. Lots of lifting which I enjoy actually. I also have a love for animals, I might even like them more then humans haha I have 3 dogs, 2 cats, 4 turtles, 2 blue tongue skinks, 1 bearded dragon and 1 cockatiels.
I live in Bloomington Illinois. I have a membership to the goldsgym here (the big one). Member of the Bloomington Nomal group. If you go and see me on here, can always use a buddy!
I always got along with my dad better. He and I are more alike in some ways. My mom and I were polar opposites. She was an extreme extrovert and was blonde and prissy. She was always upset that I didn't want to dress up, go to formal events, date rich men. A friend of mine told her that a well known politician had asked me out and she threw a fit that I said no. Mom even had my grandmother talk to me about it and tell me, "It's just as easy to learn to love a rich man as it is to love a poor one." Disgusting. I told my friend to never do anything like that to me again. Mom was married many times but only once to a poor man. LOL.
Tonight it will be in the 20s. It has gotten up to 52 today. The weather here is crazy!
46 days ago
I think when kids stick around that long it's a mutually dependent relationship. I never wanted to live with parents as an adult and my dad would not want to live with me. My mom always wanted me to live with her.
Thanks. I am trying to make some small changes and not try to be so all or nothing.
48 days ago
I know several women who have their 40 and 50 year old "children" still living at home. Can you imagine??
I am having some health challenges but have started to work on them.
48 days ago
Comment edited on: 4/6/2016 7:55:11 PM
Unfortunately some day Max will push you away and that is normal. For instance that is what the stage of autonomy is about and it occurs early in life when toddlers say no. At that time the child recognizes that you and he/she are separate and the child exercises limited ability to make decisions about himself. It's always good to offer them choices and it's the same way with adults.
52 days ago
I have known men a lot of who were extremely controlling, mostly conservative men, so I'm really grateful my dad isn't like that. I can be truthful with my dad. My mom was a strong willed person who wanted her way, even if it wasn't right. She was that way with my father as well as me. I think some of it comes from being needy. If we didn't submit then she would punish and pout. In situations like this someone is always miserable. That tends to lead to avoidance for me, which is a form of control, not necessarily a good coping mechanism but one anyway. I don't like confrontation so if people are pushing me too hard I disappear. When I do stay and fight I tend to be too good an opponent, like my hubby says. He gripes and says, "No fair, you lose logic and fairness!" LOL. It tends to leave the other person with an extreme sense of guilt. Usually I can tell my hubby to stop being selfish and he will be objective and see what I mean. Not so with my mom. It would end up with her in tears, her pouting, her attitude of "you don't love me, just let me die". Not therapeutic. Compromise is hard but the best way.
As far as control issues, some things are your right to control. Max is your and Scott's child and you legally and morally have the right to decide what is best for him. You can still listen to other advice and weigh it but the decisions are intimately yours. My mom didn't respect those boundaries. The pediatrician said no solid food before 6 months and mom disregarded it. We wanted him to not be given any candy until he was older and she ignored that.
I think in some regards that being controlling is natural for mothers. We are the ones chiefly intrusted to insure a child's safety. You walk a fine balance between wanting to protect them and wanting them to achieve independence. No one wants to be the mother whose child is totally unsupervised and in the E.R. every week with a broken arm, third degree burn, etc. These things happen enough to attentive parents and they scare us. So we tend to become overly protective. We don't want our child to suffer but they have to.
We tend to let Ian have the reigns in our relationship. We try not to bother him unless we need to so we don't get to see him but a few times a year or even talk to him on the phone but once every 1-3 months. We don't want to be pushy and needy. We would prefer that he think of us more than he does but we are not going to make his life more difficult. We want him to be happy. That is what is important to us.
53 days ago
Comment edited on: 4/1/2016 9:41:36 AM