CMESPARK
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I Gotta Be ME!










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I have struggled with my weight pretty much my entire life. In fact, I can not remember a time when I wasn't the "phat, fat funny girl" in the group.

I am really outgoing and to be honest, until I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection or a picture of myself at some event- I forget just how much more space I take up than my family and friends do.

I recently moved and came across some boxes filled with random papers. Obscure dates/ weight goals/ diet tracking- I never reached a single goal I set for my weight. Oh, I would drop a few pounds here and there but nothing close to the major drop that I know I need to do for a healthy lifestyle.

I recently went back to my hometown after 12 years. It was hard to look past the shock on some faces. I have gained about 40 pounds since they last saw me (and I wasnt exactly small then.)

It was one of those "character building" moments. Do I go to an event where lots of people will see me or do I pretend to be sick and unable to make it.

I went. Now I want to go again and see expressions of "So good to see you!" vs "oh, I didnt recognize you...."

It was painful to see the looks of shock and disappointment. I was ashamed.
I am tired of feeling ashamed or where I need to give an excuse for my weight.
I know I do not owe an excuse to anyone other than myself.
I am tired of making excuses to myself.

So for 2016, I'm over the excuses, actions count.
I am ready to be accountable.


Member Since: 12/10/2008

Fitness Minutes: 4,833

My Goals:
To look like my photos again!

Ok that is my first goal :)



I would like to stop "posing" for pictures cause I'm trying to find a flattering spot (usually hiding behind other family members)





My Program:
I am trying to stay motivated to keep excerise a priority. I also (no surprise here) really need to pay more attention to what I actually eat!



Personal Information:
I recently moved in with relatives and while I know they are not responsible for what I eat, its so hard for me to pass up on all the goodies and excess food that is available all the time!


Other Information:
Current Favorite Quote:

Mary Rocks!




Read More About CMESPARK - Profile Information moved here. (Updated January 4)




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Comments
  • v JAYBIRDNFLIGHT
    thank you for your comment on my page. consistency has been elusive this year. LOL my "diet" is one i choose and i haven't settled on any one set of choices. so i'm back to tracking my food. one thing i know for sure is i have developed an unhealthy relationship with food. so that's a good starting point. in the meantime, i've been having some fun with juicing and creating smoothies. they're great. i have not committed to doing it full time as in a juice/smoothie feast/fast - yet. it will come in time. i just want to make sure my behaviors aren't triggered by being so restrictive in my MIND and make sure that i'm in a good space when i do choose to do it full-time.

    how have you been and how are things going with you?
    1162 days ago
  • v QUIETUDEAGAIN1
    Thanks so much for visiting and for leaving a goodie Have a wonderful successful day.
    1257 days ago
  • v DAWNWATERWOMAN
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Happy Easter.
    1278 days ago
  • v DAWNWATERWOMAN
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Happy St. Patrick's Day to my Spark Friend! I hope that your day is full of fun & fitness. Bright blessings to you & yours. -Dawn

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1293 days ago
  • v ELIZABETH5268
    I found this girls blog/page yesterday on Pinterest. I think you might really like it as her strategies seem really simple and fun!

    http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/find
    ingfitness
    1366 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/3/2013 4:04:59 PM
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