Came back to look at my page and my last status read "Giving myself two to three weeks and then I am back to it." Underneath that read - set 349 days ago. Obviously a little more than 2 or 3 weeks have gone by. Actually, we just celebrated our youngest son's 1st birthday at the end of May. The baby that I was pregnant with when I left Spark for awhile. The baby whose weight I am still carrying a year after he was born.
I weigh more today then I ever have in my life. I am so disappointed ...

Came back to look at my page and my last status read "Giving myself two to three weeks and then I am back to it." Underneath that read - set 349 days ago. Obviously a little more than 2 or 3 weeks have gone by. Actually, we just celebrated our youngest son's 1st birthday at the end of May. The baby that I was pregnant with when I left Spark for awhile. The baby whose weight I am still carrying a year after he was born.
I weigh more today then I ever have in my life. I am so disappointed in myself. I joined Spark to get to a healthier weight before getting pregnant and had high hopes of continuing that healthier lifestyle during and after pregnancy. I really did okay while pregnant but the year following I just totally let myself go. I am getting ready to turn 30 in September and trying to make a final decision on whether I want to have one last baby or move on from that stage of my life. I REFUSE to get pregnant again at this weight. I REFUSE to enter another decade of my life without knowing that I am on the path to taking care of myself.
I can't say that I am ready to wake up tomorrow and do the work I need to do. But I am ready to take steps in that direction. I am counting this as step one. I WILL sign in again tomorrow and take the next step...whatever that looks like.
I can't believe i have to do this all over again.

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