My headshot for an audition - getting back into life again!!!
Me and Emily 09 - after 27 pounds GONE
I have 27 pics in my gallery
DONE! being the fat girl!
I'm a happily married mom who loves to eat! So now I'm just choosing to eat yummy foods with better portions or better choices. Started a few years ago with SparkPeople under the guise that I know I can lose whenever with no problems. Well, call it what you will, over 30, stress, lack of sleep, but losing was harder this time - and for the first time I gained it back! Then about a week ago (writing this in August 2011) I saw a picture of myself about a year before my husband and I started ...
I'm a happily married mom who loves to eat! So now I'm just choosing to eat yummy foods with better portions or better choices. Started a few years ago with SparkPeople under the guise that I know I can lose whenever with no problems. Well, call it what you will, over 30, stress, lack of sleep, but losing was harder this time - and for the first time I gained it back! Then about a week ago (writing this in August 2011) I saw a picture of myself about a year before my husband and I started dating. I wanted to post my picture on the fridge with a ransom note that his current wife (me) had hijacked that beautiful healthy woman (me 10 years ago) in the picture and I would bring her back soon with help from him! With God's help and each other (spark people included!) I know we can succeed in all our long and short term goals!
Originally I lost 25 pounds the first year of a total 98 that I need to lose. Then as I often hear others say but had never experienced I gained that back plus probably 12 more. So now I'm a couple pounds from my original starting weight and I have a new perspective going into this fall!
I grew up always thinking I was fat. I decided that there was usually 1 person heavier than me in most social situations (classroom, etc.) but that I wouldn't have a lot of the opportunities other people had because I was so big. The saddest part is that I was never very big - I just had a very skewed image of myself physically. I knew this was possible - but I didn't think what I thought I looked like was incorrect. There were a few moments of truth - like in high school when, during annual school physicals - the nurse announced the weight (a little too loudly) of a classmate on her scale and I was shocked to hear that she was about 10 pounds heavier than I was at the time. This was a person about 3 inches taller than me who I considered very fit...I couldn't believe I weighed less! Also, food for me wasn't/isn 't usually something I turn to for comfort - it's usually something I reward myself with - or enjoy the most when I'm happy. So, looking back at pictures thoughout my life so far - my skinniest times (and I was skinny once - but I had no idea) were the times in my life when things were going the worst! So I've established a food/emotion connection - but it seems to be opposite of what most people experience. Anyway, at my skinniest as an adult - I did feel like I looked attractive - but when people noticed me that didn't before - they still weren't any more interested in me (dating wise) than before. So even though growing up I thought the guys that were "out of my league" would be "in my league" if I lost the weight - weren't once I was thin. That really messed with my head - because I guess I liked my weight (which was mostly in my head and not actual!) to be an excuse for things that didn't go the way I wanted or expected them too. Fat was a good scapegoat for failure - until I realized looking back that I wasn't fat!!!
Anyway, during my happiest times I tend to gain weight - but I had a weight I never went over...but that number changed over the years. I did have twins - but the weight I put on with them (30 or so pounds) I lost within 6 weeks of their birth - but now have put back on and then some. This doesn't have much to do directly with the pregnancy (although there is a definite change in my body and metabolism) but my habits have changed - mainly - I don't get much sleep and I eat basically all day and all night. Even though it's not all bad food - I know I'm eating more meals than what's "normal".
All that intro being said:
+ I want to lose the weight before my 1 year old twins are old enough to remember me heavy.
+ I want to pass on healthy lifestyle choices to my children - and I don't want them to ever know the pain of chosing food badly or having a "fat mommy".
+ I want to confidently continue in my true career - without ever feeling like turning down opportunities because I don't want to be seen.
+ I want to learn what my real body looks like - and not the one I always saw in my head (incidently it wasn't until I had gotten over 210 pounds before I started actually looking like the person I always thought I did, size wise...that means at a slim 140 pounds I thought I looked like I do at over 200 pounds - it makes me wonder what a skinny anorexic really sees - it's entirely possibly they see a 200 pound person too).
+ I want to enjoy social gatherings and I want to end looking for the person in the room heavier than me...I don't want to be that person, but more importantly I don't want to gage the weights of people because it's not fair to anyone.
+ I want to be able to get regular family pictures done without being afraid to hand them out to people afterwards!
Upcoming short term goals dates...I'm not setting a weight goal for them - these are just motivational dates!!! I've been stuck for a while after gaining a few pounds back on vacation...but I've never lost my motivation for being DONE!
March 2 - family photo session (scary...but it's portrait party we were invited to!)
March 17 - singing gig (Christian Women's Club luncheon)
| Pounds lost: 22.6
Interact with CHADANDDENISE
Member Since: 8/31/2008
Fitness Minutes: 3,899
To get healthy and avoid preventable weight-associated diseases. To enjoy exercise with my husband (he's a sports guy and I'm an artsy couch potato!). To change my lifestyle/type of eating and make other healthy changes as a result.
Cutting back on portions. Eating a well-balanced diet. EXERCISE but make it fun!!! Only indulging in sweets in moderation.
MONTH ONE - 9/13 - 10/13/08
16.0 pounds lost forever!
9.0 inches total from hips, waist and neck lost!
MONTH TWO - 10/13-11/13/08
18.6 TOTAL pounds
12.5 TOTAL inches
MONTH THREE - 11/13-12/13/08
20.2 TOTAL pounds
12.5 TOTAL inches