A "before" picture. Yes, I weight 187 pounds. I cringe just typing that.

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For so many years and for reasons I am just beginning to be able to articulate, I never felt good enough or worthy enough for much in life.

I grew up in a lot of pain emotionally and used food as my comfort... and my comfort became my punishment as I became fatter and could not wear cute clothes and could not do all the things I wanted to do in life.

I felt awful about myself. I had so much control over myself....why not something as simple as the food I put in my mouth?

I can't remember how, but almost 3 years ago I stumbled upon Sparkpeople's website. I enjoyed the website, but just wasn't ready for change. I have spent the last 3 years on and off this site.

I would like to tell you an "event" or some magic lightbulb came on for me, but for me it was more of an someone had lit a fire inside my soul. An urge to eat less and move more came over me. In May 2011, I began to take my life seriously and have been here faithfully ever since.

Member Since: 7/18/2008

Fitness Minutes: 7,468

My Goals:
I want to lose 60 pounds. I hope to do this by 2-1-12.

My Program:
At this point, I am counting calories and keeping my carb intake below 120 a day.

I am wearing a Bodybugg to keep track of my activity.

I drink lots of water.

I think good thoughts.

I exercise. Sometimes a walk, sometimes I run hard, just to feel the wind in my face and numb the pain in my soul. I hike, I bike, I Zumba, I do SOMETHING.

Personal Information:
My name is Crystal. I am married, 36, two kids, two dogs. I work fulltime in a beautiful coastal California town. I care too much, I martyr myself too often, and I am told that I am pretty awesome. Most of the time I agree.

Other Information:
I need support, so feel free to leave me a happy message.

Read More About CDGOLDILOCKS - Profile Information moved here. (Updated November 4)

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 current weight: 172.4 
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