So I did spark people once before but didn't keep it up because I'm pretty sure I just didn't care enough to keep going. I'm also pretty sure I just got tired of working out and tracking calories and putting in effort towards something that was difficult. But I want to change that now.
I've always been the tall girl ever since I can remember. Even in Kindergarten I remember being taller than all the boys. I'm not exactly sure if I started "gaining" weight per se' or if it just sort of happened gradually since i was young. My parents have never been strict enough about my diet. I'm a very picky eater, I would have to wine for about five seconds before my mom would give in and let me eat what I wanted instead of what was in front of me ( which wasn't probably a very healthy choice either.) Though my mom is an excellent cook, she doesn't ever really cook healthy things. Her reason for this is because "NO ONE EATS IT!" This is probably true, but never the less, I've always just grown up around big portions, lots of salt, and way to many carbs. And It's mostly my fault. My vast and exotic menu ranges from turkey sandwiches to that ever so healthy mexican food. I just really don't like much. Though I'm trying more and more, just because as you get older, your pallet changes, but still.. this is a constant issue for me.
Another thing that has always been an issue is soda. Soda, soda, soda I couldn't live without soda-but I have lived without soda, quite successfully for almost 3 months now (with some holiday exceptions.) I also have a permanent sweet tooth, specifically with my good friend chocolate. I can't get enough of it. I literally consider myself a chocloholic. And in small quantities I think it's okay.. but I eat far too much of it, far too often.
Oh! I almost forgot my favorite thing- exercise- another thing I always grew up learning to hate. Both of my parents thought it was an awful chore, and once I got a little bigger, so did I. I hated gym class, hated running, hated working out- though the truth is.. once I have the motivation and I do something I enjoy- I REALLY enjoy it. I feel good about myself, happy, relaxed, healthier.. everything about it makes me feel good- yet for some reason I always stop doing it after a while.. I'm here to say-NOT anymore. Slowly but surely, I'm going to change that. I want exercise to be as normal to me as brushing my teeth. Something that I enjoy doing at the end of the day.
So I guess what I'm basically saying is that I have grown accustomed to a certain life style in the short 19 years of my life- and it's time to break the cycle. My entire family has eating disorders and weight issues. But it's not something that I want to live with. When I finally get done with school and have an actual career, I want to be at my goal weight- And I'm not really sure what that is right now. I'm playing it by ear.
I know that I can do this- and that I will do this. And I just feel like it's really going to happen this time. I'm not stressing myself out about it. I'm taking it slow, and realizing that even the smallest amount of progress IS progress. Not everything happens in one week... it's okay to take things slow- and I should take things slow, because this isn't a "diet" for me, this is a lifestyle change. I'm not saying it's going to be easy- but it needs to be done. I promise myself right now that I won't become a slave to the scale. I will only be a slave to my inner voice, telling me when it feels happy. Whether I lose 10 pounds or 100, my body, my mind, and my spirit are what I'm looking to fulfill.
Basically my over all goal is to lose weight, be happy, and successfully change my life for the better.
Secrets of Success
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