CATATONIC23   697
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I started off over 300lbs and This is me at 260lbs. I'd say I made some progress.





This is my Charlie. He's a cutie pie but oh what a trouble maker he can be.





It's a close up of me! So now you know what I look like up close and personal!



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Desperate Diabetic Mother

Welcome to my world. I'm on a healthy lifestyle quest. Share my journey with me!

My name is Cat and I've been battling with my weight my whole life, but I'm determined to finally win the weight war.

A couple of years ago I fell down a flight of stairs and injured myself pretty badly. I was already overweight, diabetic, had high blood pressure and cholesterol, now I had to deal with broken bones, damaged ligaments and pain pain PAIN. As a diabetic, the healing process ...
Welcome to my world. I'm on a healthy lifestyle quest. Share my journey with me!

My name is Cat and I've been battling with my weight my whole life, but I'm determined to finally win the weight war.

A couple of years ago I fell down a flight of stairs and injured myself pretty badly. I was already overweight, diabetic, had high blood pressure and cholesterol, now I had to deal with broken bones, damaged ligaments and pain pain PAIN. As a diabetic, the healing process is slower due to circulation, but I didn't realize that my injuries were never going to go away. I thought...hey a few months and I'll be back to my old self again. Boy was I wrong.

Jump forward a couple of years and I'm still in pain from the fall, plus I'm even heavier than I was before because of a medication my doctor gave me. Now add on depression and migraines.... You see where I'm going?

I'm ashamed to say that I let myself get up to 300lbs. I had never weighed more than 240, unless I was pregnant, but 300 pounds?????? I couldn't believe it. I simply fell deeper and deeper into my depression until I hit rock bottom and even then, I was still so ashamed of myself that I didn't do anything to remedy my situation.

In July my family and I went on a vacation We were going to be in the area my family lived in, New York, so we stopped by one day to visit them. It had been awhile since we'd seen them so my kids were thrilled to see Great Grandma, Grandma, Grandpa and all the rest of my family. The day we left, we got into the car and I drove to the corner. Before making the turn onto the highway I stopped and began to cry. I suddenly knew it would be the last time I would see my grandmother alive. She was celebrating her 92nd birthday that week and I knew, it would be soon that she would leave us.

We got back home and within a month I got the phone call. Grandma had passed away. I flew back to New York the very next day.

I have a HUGE family, and only a couple of siblings live in the New York area. The others are scattered all across the globe.

One of my sisters came too and when I saw her I couldn't believe my eyes. She looked like she weighed around 400lbs, if not more.

While we were there we had gone to a restaurant for dinner, and when they seated us in a booth... (my heart is breaking right now) My sister couldn't fit into it. She had to sit one cheek on the edge of the booth while we pulled the table in as far as it could go. Eventually the waitress brought her a chair, but the humiliation of not fitting in the booth had already come. I sat at that table and watched as people looked at her with disgust. She hadn't a clue as her back was to the restaurant. And when we left, people stared at her with a range of emotions on their faces. Disgust and pity were the main emotions their faces emoted and I was, simply put, embarrassed.

When I was in New York for my grandmother's funeral, I knew I needed to do something about myself.

After I had gotten home, I started to diet though I didn't really try very hard. I eliminated certain foods from my diet, but I still ate like a pig.

Then one day my son's friend called and said his father had died in his sleep I was in complete shock. This man was a few years older than I and was exceptionally active, but he was overweight.

As I sat in the church with my husband and 11 year old son, my heart broke. I could see the back of his best friend's head and the tears in my son's eyes. It was in that moment that I made a vow to myself. I couldn't let my son sit in the front row of the church and mourn me. If I continued on the path that I was on, he'd be taking a front row seat any day now.

Since then, I've lost 56 pounds, but I still need to lose over 100 more. I started at 300 and my goal is 135. I know it can be done, I just need to be the one to do it.

Many things have happened since then and I've lost faith in myself. I need to go after this with as much gusto as I did in those first few months. Unfortunately for me, I'm losing battles with my weight more and more often, but even that can't prevent me from winning my war.


Cat

UPDATE:

After hitting a plateau I gave up on losing the weight. I stopped trying and was just happy to fit into some old close again, but now it's time to get back into the swing of things. My poor eating habits are effecting my children's eating habits and I won't have it! I will not be the cause of their poor lifestyle, so it's time to change things up in the household.

Here we go again, but this time I have company.

Cat




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 current weight: 248.0 
 
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Member Since: 11/27/2006

SparkPoints: 697

Fitness Minutes: 0

My Goals:
I'd love to stop taking diabetes medication one day. I want to see my children graduate from college , get married, have children. In short.... I want to live and live well!!!!!!

My Program:
I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'm working on it. I simply want to eat better and feel better.

Personal Information:
I live in Oklahoma and I love it! It's a great community.






Other Information:
Don't be ashamed of who you are or how you look. Hold your head up high and know that you're doing the best you can.

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Member Comments:
BECKY742
1/26/2011 9:00:51 PM

I WISH YOU WOULD COME BACK CAT! emoticon



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BECKY742
9/13/2010 1:47:20 PM

HI, JUST SEEING HOW YOUR DOING. I STEPPED AWAY FOR AWHILE BUT I'M BACK NOW. emoticon



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LYNNDE
4/17/2010 5:32:53 AM

Hi! How are things in your world? I haven't seen you around lately.



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ANGEL_GRAVER
3/12/2010 4:59:18 PM

Stopping by to wish you a fantabulous weekend!

Keep Sparking!




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LYNNDE
2/12/2010 12:39:54 PM

Hi Cat, checking in on you. How is your day going? emoticon



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