I saw a comment you posted on an article on motivation and it certainly sounds as though you are going through a lot right now! I have found that most people cannot obtain mental health and wellness when basics like safety, food, water and shelter are not being met. However, there are a lot of teams here on spark and people who are great to talk to that may help you not to feel so alone in all this.
Sending positive vibes to you that things improve! 1244 days ago