CARBAHOLIC87   869
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Diary of a Fat Girl with a pretty face

Hey Everyone I am just a fun outgoing spontaneous beautiful girl that has one MAJOR problem.... i need to loose more than 160lbs!

I have to say that my whole i have always been fat. I got teased a little bit when i was in first grade until about third grade. After that i never really got teased to my face because i always had a nice and fun nature about myself, so i think people tended to look past it. I have always been conscious of my body being over weight and hoped that ...
Hey Everyone I am just a fun outgoing spontaneous beautiful girl that has one MAJOR problem.... i need to loose more than 160lbs!

I have to say that my whole i have always been fat. I got teased a little bit when i was in first grade until about third grade. After that i never really got teased to my face because i always had a nice and fun nature about myself, so i think people tended to look past it. I have always been conscious of my body being over weight and hoped that everyone else did not see me as that. As a young girl, I was always involved with sports... i was on a competitive swim team and i played tennis... eventually turned into a tom boy loving any kind of sport except soccer. In middle school, i still began to get bigger and focused on volleyball, basketball, and tennis for my school. In summer, i would go away to summer camp for 2-3 weeks every year and always did active stuff there as well. I was always active but never could control my eating! The older i got the more upset i became about my weight and always had body image problems i thought i was much larger than i really was and thought i would never loose weight!




When i was away at camp at 15, for some reason something was bothering me but i couldn't figure out what it was, the last night of camp we had a campfire and i looked out at the lake and cried hysterically and i told myself that when i got home i would know why. I laughed for a second and said no only crazy people talk like that. Turns out that week my dad was missing from the alcohol rehab he had been attending. The day i came back i went to a party on the beach at the coast guard station. Some people asked to used the bathrooms because they were going to an island off the beach to have a picnic. They just happened to find my dad's body there dead! Being so young none of my friends really knew how to support me but i had my mom.




As school started so did volleyball, i became very sore and thought it was just from all the sliding and what not from volleyball. I then got strep throat twice that season. Then one morning i was paralyzed, i couldn't move anything but my head!!! I was freezing and needed a blanket on me but couldn't have one on me because it burned my skin. I couldn't move for hours which means i couldn't even get out of bed to go to the bathroom... this would happen every morning and my mom brought me to all these different doctors and no one could figure out what was wrong with me and many people thought i was just depressed from my dad passing but i knew it wasn't....there was a long series of other symptoms that came with this paralysis my memory began to go, my hair was falling out in big clumps, my joints were always sore, i would get these migraines that felt like an electric shock going through my head, i couldn't talk properly, my hands would shake, and much more... My mom always knew what it was... I finally went to specialist in Lyme Disease and it was confirmed that i had Neurological Lyme Disease- meaning i got bit by a tic about 10 years before i got really sick and since it went undetected for soo long the bacteria from the take made it to my brain and damaged it. When a big thing happens in your life the lyme tends to really start attacking your body and making itself known.


Being on the right medicine made me better but still not well enough for school, so i began getting a home tutor. This was extremely difficult for me because i have always been active in sports and socially with my friends. It also began to be easier to eat even more and i was not physically able to walk that much to compensate the extra calories... I always was aware of the foods that i ate were bad for me but i would just think about the moment of pleasure and not the long term effect. My mom and I did weight watchers and because of all the different medicine i was on my weight loss was very slow... also i didn't commit 110%... i would eat like 3 cups of pasta for some dinner thinking oh well for the pasta is 12 points, i can take that... Since my weight loss every week was like .2 or .4 lbs my body image issues were very much at present.... i always picture myself to be about 100lbs more than i really am.. here is a picture of myself at 16.



that's me on the left and on the right is how i saw myself... which is ridiculous since that girl was more than 200lbs bigger than me... so i got discouraged because i saw the difference in my clothes but not the difference in my body... i began to eat more and again reverted to my old ways of eating and still not exercising... i became very lazy physically for the next 6 years of my life. Although i went to college full time had a part time job that turned to full time at one point, partied with my friends, and did field work as well. This lack of excersize lasted until my 22nd birthday, i said this would be it!!!!!! and i started on my weight loss journey having losing 70lbs!!!

















i was really starting to love my body for the first time... still saw myself as much bigger prob around the size of my start weight... and then i just stopped everything and again reverted back to my old lifestyle..slowly but surely... i wasn't planning on eating that way forever and kept eating all the really bad stuff saying oh but i will be starting back on program next week... next week never truly came until i gained all my weight back in the year and half time period. i know how i should eat and am now doing this for my health and am not stopping until i am finished!!!



















next time you see a picture of me it will be smaller THAN 294.4 LBS!!!!!! and i will NOT stop until i have an after picture!!!!!


















check out my blog: www.carbaholicgirlie.bolgspot.com




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Member Since: 2/3/2012

SparkPoints: 869

Fitness Minutes: 1,850

My Goals:
My List of Goals!!!

By July 5, 2012 (Cousin's Wedding) weigh 250lbs
set mini goals every week***
BECOME A STRONG SWIMMER
run a mile without stopping
run a 5k
do all the moves properly at zumba
exercise 5 or 6 times a week
shop at a store that does not have plus size options
hike a mountain
get on an amusement park ride without worrying if I'm going to fit
be proud of my body!
be confident!
become healthy!
reward myself after every 5lbs lost- ****
lose 25 lbs
lose 50lbs
lose 75 lbs
lose 100 lbs
lose 125 lbs
lose 150 lbs
lose 165 lbs (Goal Weight!)
lose 5% of my starting weight! 14.7
lose 10% of my starting weight! 29.4
lose 25%of my starting weight! 73.6 lbs
wear a bikini
lose the extra flab of stomach over my hips and legs
wear stilettos without extreme pain in my feet
More to come!!!


 
 



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Member Comments:
WOLFKITTY
10/8/2013 10:45:24 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2013!!!
Where are ya, Done Girl!? I hope no matter where you find yourself in life, you are definitely enjoying it this birthday!!

All the very best,
Jocelyn



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100LBLIGHTER
10/10/2012 9:54:35 PM

Have a Blessed Birthday and many many more birthdays to come. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm late.



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CERULEANTEAR
10/10/2012 3:45:43 PM

emoticon emoticon Have an AMAZING belated birthday! emoticon emoticon



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CHICA125KML
10/10/2012 2:52:19 PM

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Happy Belated Birthday!!! Hope you had a great day!!
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JIBBIE49
10/10/2012 1:59:37 PM

emoticon Happy BELATED Birthday, DONE GIRL

Libra is not a "fat" sign as it puts her out of balance. Staying slim and fit is natural for you. When Libra over eats it is because she is out of balance in her emotional life. She needs to talk about her feelings to someone. Yoga and dance can be wonderful ways to get exercise and relieve stress.
Remember, no decision is a decision. Make one and stay with it.
In Libra the Sun is tolerant, affectionate, and well balanced. You are a courteous and agreeable person who is considerate of other people's feelings. You have a personal charisma attracting friends. Functioning well when working in harmony with other people, you are an excellent team player. You like being on the winning team.
You get along well with Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Leo.
Your health issue can be your kidney area and skin problems.
You are a "steel fist in a velvet glove" so know you can accomplish anything you set your mind to do. You are an excellent student and can excel in math.
You become unhappy in ugly surroundings. Don't stay in a bad situation as it can make you ill physically. You are frugal and want to get quality for your money that you work hard for.
You prefer working in a pleasant and very orderly atmosphere, with people who don't put undue pressure on you. You like to see your role as that of peacemaker. Peace and tranquility are so important. The least sign of hostility or discord is very upsetting to you. You refrain from speaking your mind if you fear your thoughts would alienate or start an argument. Always ready to compromise or mediate, you need to be careful not to appear wishy-washy or less than reliable.
In many ways, you are dependent upon the approval of others. Libra is the sign of relationships. You think of yourself as half a partnership rather than an individual. Because of this feeling of dependence, you put your mate's needs and desires ahead of your own. You may become confused as to what you want at any particular time, versus what your partner wants. Your partner's goals and ambitions become your goals and ambitions. You are the true helpmate. Because of this attitude, Libra is very stable and dependent in a relationship, even a bad one.
As attached as you are to your partner, you may not really show it much. In your quest for balance and harmony, you rarely have or express strong emotions of any kind. Yours is a very dispassionate demeanor that is detached. You don't invest much passion or feeling in your relationships, loving with your head instead of your heart.
When cast in a supervisory role you may have some difficulties. This is because you weigh each decision before choosing your direction. You can experience problems if you are called on to make frequent snap decisions for the group. You are an excellent go-between, and not as good at being the leader or boss. Unfortunately, such a balanced view of situations sometimes makes decisive action more difficult. You have a hard time making everyday decisions of little or no consequence. On the big issues, you may vacillate indefinitely.
One of your main personality traits is a love of justice. You are insistent on fair play. In this too, you have a very balanced and unbiased way of looking at everything in your world. Accordingly, you are often called on to be mediator in family disputes or in disagreements at work. Your impartial judgment can always see both sides of a matter. You can be very cool and detached, keeping your feelings well under control in pursuit of fairness.

Your love of balance and harmony allows you to appreciate music and the arts. Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet closely associated with artistic endeavors. If you don't have talent yourself, you probably to do have an interest and excellent taste in these matters.
Courteous and refined, good manners are important to you. You exhibit them and you expect them. You are especially repelled by vulgarity and coarseness. Tactful, diplomatic, refined and socially successful, you strive to say and do the right thing. It is always so important for you to make the right impression.



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