CALLIKIA
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Finally meeting my goals!

I'm a 30-something year old mother of teenage boys in rural WV. I have a full-time desk job that sometimes sends me on the rural roads of WV and a portrait photographer that makes me love pictures of others way more than any picture ever taken of me.

I started getting into the "fat girl" range at the age of 5. I've struggled with Weight Watchers and diet classes and Sonoma Diets and everything in between for my entire life. It's made me hate myself and my body way more than I should and keeps me from my goals of body positivity. After leaving the nest, I put on weight for the next couple years like it was my job. By 2004, I had ballooned up to 466.6 pounds and considered gastric bypass surgery (my mother had already had it and been successful). 12 months of testing later, we were ready to put everything into the insurance company for pre-cert...and my (now ex-)husband's employer dropped their bariatric coverage.

I vowed then to do whatever I could to control my weight in whatever way I knew how. I struggled. A LOT. I fought an ailing body and crippling self-esteem. I did what I could and eventually got myself down to 360-380.

And then we moved to WV and I had to restructure my life all over again. I was parenting alone at least half the week. I had no work and no friends and nothing in the area to do. I tried to find ways to make it work for me. In 2010, I found Spark, and it did light a Spark. I met some amazing ladies I would never give up in my life who pushed me to be the greatest me I could be. And I was. I was absolutely amazing. And I thought I was unstoppable. I was running 5ks and training for half marathons and putting myself out there and feeling positive about my body.

And then it broke. I got plantar fasciitis and hip bursitis and tendonitis and a million other problems in my back and hips that caused me to have to put a halt to my number one motivator - time in the gym. I went from being on fire to being put out. First Zumba had to go. And line dancing. And boxing. And running. And then even swimming hurt. And, finally, lifting. I spent 6 months at 300.6 pounds, chasing the elusive 200s...and I never found them. Within the next two years, I fell apart emotionally. My marriage took a dive. My kids were growing up and changing and life just felt so completely out of my control. I entered therapy back up in the high 300s and completely broken mentally and physically. I felt like I was steps away from a wheelchair and the end of my life.

I finally made the decision to try the surgery route again. I figured, maybe it would be the tool that would help me get back to those low-300s so I could start my fight FROM there and not spend half as long breaking my body to GET there. I needed help, and it was the only help I knew that was left. Many of my Spark friends had moved on and the support just wasn't what it once was. I started a medically supervised diet in January 2015 at 460.6 pounds. Just 6 pounds shy of my highest recorded weight. I hated myself.

I had surgery on November 2, 2015. The gastric sleeve. Now, more than a year out, I am smaller than I have ever been in my entire adult life! I can tell you that it's mental torture in the beginning. Liquid diets and protein shakes and soft foods for a month. It's literally the hardest thing I have ever done (and I've done Whole 30 TWICE, y'all!). I kept wishing I had the support I once had from my girls here. Even now I look at my body and struggle to see the new me. The mental change will ALWAYS be the hardest part of this entire journey for any of us. But I have hope again.

My hope is to find myself somewhere near 170-190. I feel like I'd be good there. I feel like that would feel like me and I could have my positive self back. Working out truly makes me feel like I'm in control of my life and I'm doing the best things possible for it. (I'm a BEAST in the gym!) But my body is still hurting from the years of physical abuse - even exercise meant to do it go that simply put too much of a strain on already strained joints. If anyone ever tells you that surgery is the "easy way out" tell them to eff-off because it's HARD! And I've done this losing over 100 pounds thing both with and without surgery. It's hard no matter what!

I'm now down over 200 pounds. I haven't been this size since middle school. I am full of a ton of different fears about my body and what it will look like and if I will ever reach my "final" goals...but I'm just going to keep pushing forward and doing my best and see where that gets me. Wish me luck!


Member Since: 4/18/2010

Fitness Minutes: 26,191

My Goals:
Workout 4 days a week, 45 minutes a day CONSISTENTLY!
Eat only 4 meals a day (there is no such thing as snacking!).
Get in 70g of protein each day.
2 protein "shakes" - 1 protein coffee/1 shakeo"plus"
Meat first, then veggies, and THEN fruit and carbs.
LOW sugar! (Less than 10g per serving.)
Don't be afraid of succeeding!
Don't be afraid of failing - you are already a success story!


My Program:
After being sleeved on 11/2, I have strict guidelines for at least the first year, but really until I get to goal.

Protein - 60-79g per day
Liquid - 64oz per day
Low carb
Low sugar (no more than 10g per serving)
Possibly lower in fat



Personal Information:
Esther. 36. WV. Two beautiful boys - Logan (17) and Ethan (14). Two dogs (Joey and Champ) and two cats ("Tiggy" and Link).


Other Information:
I'm a photographer by trade (which I do in addition to my FT job). I love portrait photography! I love to travel and explore. Hiking is awesome! Love rowing. Hoping to find more adventure related likes along the way.




Read More About CALLIKIA - Profile Information moved here. (Updated February 10)




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Secrets of Success
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My Ticker:
 Pounds lost: 216.8 
 
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Comments
  • v ALOFA0509
    Wow you look Terrific!!! Its been a long while, & Im doing my Walk of shame bk to Spark! Its been a while but I know coming back to basics is gonna get me recharged.Girll I rembr yur race wth Spunky Duckt! few of us old skool gals left- 😎😄 Cheers
    109 days ago
  • v SHELLE13
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Happy Belated Birthday, Done Girl! Hope it was great and all the best for a fabulous 2017!!!
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    115 days ago
  • v SERENEART
    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I have followed your blogs for quite sometime... Although at times, it was less,when I really wasn't on spark. I just wanted to let you know that you so courageous and an inspiration for the things that you have done in your life... Even when things weren't the best... you kept pushing. Keep up the great work! emoticon
    118 days ago
  • v YESICAN61
    May I say how very inspiring you are. Best wishes on the rest of your journey.
    121 days ago
  • v MISSDORKNESS
    I know you're right.
    I'm a slow learner, so I should've realized it at least 8 years ago. Everyone just kept giving me advice on trying harder to shore up his ego, and I listened instead of paying attention to the toll it was taking on me to be all about him while ignoring myself. UGH.

    Out of the fog now, though. It's helping to get it all out where I can examine it.

    Thanks.
    121 days ago
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