I don't mean to scare you but reading your profile made my blood run a little cold. You sound exactly like I did when I went on my first diet at age 19. What followed is 38 years of a progressively worsening binge problem over worrying over trying at first to get back to that loss.
Please do not listen to same age peers who do not have at least two years of success at healthy eating. Those who are not succeeding at healthy eating and who are often trying this or that diet are not the ones to listen to. Their prognosis for success if not very good. Most people who go on a diet weigh more two years later.
I beg you, stop trying to lose weight. Do aim at smart eating of mostly unprocessed foods, but don't be a fanatic. Do not fill your mind with images of very thin women at the low end of their BMI range. Don't keep reminiscing about those lost pounds. Work on healing your relationship with food. This is not done by "dieting." You should absolutely aim to develop good eating habits and to exercise moderately consistently. Being consistent is much more important than any strict thing you do for a few months.
I'm not saying you can't get back to feeling more in control and feeling great. I'm saying that may not be associated with your losing weight. Deep down, you know when you are likely being immoderate in your habits.
Willpower researcher Roy F. Baumeister's research team examined hundreds of studies on weight loss and he has two pieces of advice: don't go on a diet and don't swear off any food. Look for ways to cut back in the situations where your overeating is most obvious. Keep believing that you can learn to eat all foods in moderation and to direct your attention in life to other concerns while living a healthy life. It really doesn't take all day to plan reasonable, healthy meals and get some exercise. Commit to doing that to free yourself to pursue the things in life that really are the true foundation of happiness. You will not find these things in the media. Family, friendships, mating, develop of talents, productive and pleasurable pastimes, a spiritual life, if you are so inclined: these are what bring contentment.
Gosh, I've been a real blowhard, but we haven't had many people join the Living Binge Free team before they've spent years in misery. I hope we can prevent that! And I hope you'll forgive me for preaching. I just don't want to see another person suffer as many of us have. 1341 days ago