BOSSYBELLY   9,925
SparkPoints
8,500-9,999 SparkPoints
 
 
The Gutstapo





I'm sexy and I know it!



I have 3 pics in my gallery





Awards






 
Bossy Belly

Yesterday, I bought a size 18 dress for my high school graduation. I worried about acne, making friends in college, and whether Id ever have a boyfriend.

This morning, I woke up to a size 28 body. Then, I worried about acne, making friends, and whether Id ever find a husband, and where in the world my 20s went.

In ten years, I have dug the deepest, darkest rut EVER.

When I try to jump out of the rut, my gut, who is the boss of me, grabs me by my waist ...
Yesterday, I bought a size 18 dress for my high school graduation. I worried about acne, making friends in college, and whether Id ever have a boyfriend.

This morning, I woke up to a size 28 body. Then, I worried about acne, making friends, and whether Id ever find a husband, and where in the world my 20s went.

In ten years, I have dug the deepest, darkest rut EVER.

When I try to jump out of the rut, my gut, who is the boss of me, grabs me by my waist and slams me back to earth.

When I try to climb out of the rut one leg at a time, the chorus of fat that lives in my thunder thighs swells and shouts, My name is Charlie! Last name, Horse! Rather than catch a cramp, I stay cramped, stay put, and in the rut.

When I try to pull myself out of the rut using my upper body, my arms pop out like imitation Barbie dolls. Unfortunately, instead of bulbous armpit joints, that roundness where my biceps used to be is a concoction a la ONeal Ron Morris, but instead of Fix-a-Flat, Ive injected Fix-a-Fry, Fix-a-Plate, and Fix-Myself-Some-Seconds. I know Im not ready for this jelly.

Yesterday, (the real yesterday, not the decade ago yesterday), I did a jumping jack. It was more like a trampoline jack because when I stopped jumping my rolls kept bouncing. I did a mountain climber that felt more like a ski lift because my butt and thighs avalanched well after both of my feet were firmly on the carpet.

This SUCKS!

When I look in the mirror, I see a face I dont recognize, as though time painted tiny cracks in the youth of my face and gravity has been using my chin as uneven bars. There are two chins now (and I had to take out the tweezers on the second one!)

I would like to say that I am a Christian so I am happy, an independent woman so I am content, and an American so I continue to dream, but I feel none of that. I feel adrift. I feel flat, and I feel bitter about feeling like I did everything right and ended up in a place so very wrong.

This is about getting back to a place thats sweet and just being able to wearing a size that starts with a one.

Sheez.

Bossy
Read More About BOSSYBELLY (Updated December 20)




SparkFriends



SparkTeams





 
Interact with BOSSYBELLY

Send Member a Private Message





Recent Blogs:





 
Profile

Member Since: 7/21/2007

SparkPoints: 9,925

Fitness Minutes: 6,645

My Goals:
These are quite simple. I want to be able to put my arms down-- all the way down and not have extra arm in the way (you know, like a kid in a winter's jacket). I want one chin, an easy view of my feet, and the swiftness I remember from childhood. I want to run and not grow weary, and I want a waist of 35 inches. STAT.

My Program:
I want to write about the process of showing my belly who's boss. I think that being creative is the only way to win.

Personal Information:
Bossybelly.wordpress.com

I have no shame. The truth sets me free.

Other Information:
I'm learning to love God. I already love FOOD, reading, writing, singing, traveling, and bad puns.



Profile Image





 
 



Flowers
From:
JANINE8969

Happy Face
From:
JAYMELYNN5

Welcome Back
From:
this team is cl...

Thank You Card
From:
.DUSTY.

Fresh Veggies
From:
WILLBDONE6-2011

Best Wishes
From:
SHRINKIN.LADY




Member Comments:
GRETA242
3/19/2014 12:55:14 PM

"I would like to say that I am a Christian so I am happy, an independent woman so I am content, and an American so I continue to dream, but I feel none of that. I feel adrift. I feel flat, and I feel bitter about feeling like I did everything right and ended up in a place so very wrong. "

We share many of the same feelings and experiences. Been there, done that, moving on. Check out my wall and blogs. By the way, you write very well. Looking forward to reading some blog entries from you when you feel like it.





Report Inappropriate Comment
COXBETH
12/21/2012 11:08:55 PM

I know about Decembeaver being a lifestyle. My hubs watched the video and was like, "How is that funny? That's just Tuesday around here."




Report Inappropriate Comment
GEORGIA_KAY
11/19/2012 10:51:02 PM

Eva, I'm glad you're back. :)



Report Inappropriate Comment
DIFROMWYOMING
3/24/2010 8:28:09 AM

Just stopping by to say HI! emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
DIFROMWYOMING
10/28/2009 9:17:00 PM

I can't believe I'm just finding you....where have I been?
Actually I've been pretty MIA this month from SP due to surgery, but I"m slowly finding my way back to humanity.
I love dry humor, and think you're a wonderful writer...so I look forward to reading more.
Welcome to the jungle...



Report Inappropriate Comment
Member Comments Page (94 total):  123Next >Last >>

See My SparkFavorites Report Inappropriate Page