So I'm finding I don't hate my photos like I used to after losing -so far- 50lbs since Nov. 21 '09
"Rewriting my agreement with reality", as Dr. Wayne Dyer would say.....
Ok, so, I play blues piano for a living. Yeah, that's a real job, believe it or not..
At the advanced age of 42, I signed on to play with a blues band with whom I have been blessed to travel all over the world. After 6 years of doing this (I'm currently 48) I can't believe I got this lucky. After 3 decades of "half-living"; putting up with self-limiting beliefs that resulted in a 70-plus lb. weight gain, compromised relationships and debilitating stage fright, not to mention abject personal suffering, I was able to make this lifelong dream happen for myself.
And yet there's always this - I don't know - dissatisfaction? ... that comes from walking onto a stage, AGAIN, knowing I am, to put it mildly - uncomfortable with the way I look, that I don't feel my audiences are seeing the "real" me, no matter how much of my soul I expose; knowing that working THAT hard is going to once again make me feel as if I'm going to pass out or, maybe one day, have a heart attack..
Pinetop Perkins is my idol.. he's exactly twice my age and still playing. I also want to be beating keyboards to bits when I'M ninety-six.
And right here, this sparkpeople, this motivation, this accountability - THIS IS HOW I'M GOING TO DO JUST THAT.
Complete My Joy.
This will happen by experiencing the following:
-tying shoes with ease
-maybe... dare I say it - being "ogled"?
-loving my pics again
-fitting comfortably into airline seats
-snoring less (ha)
- a more shapely "Downward Facing Dog"
-savoring the way chain belts feel on thin hips
-inspiring my friends
YOGA YOGA YOGA - esp. Iyengar & Kundalini; PRANA PRANA PRANA: Just breathe!!!!; power-walking with the lovely yet pace-obsessed 'Ms Dixie'; daily sporadic bouts of joy-infused juke-dancin' in my living room and, frequently "on location" (Red's, Ground Zero); food plan based on putting the life force back into food, so the body actually recognizes it as - well - food (what a concept) - Can you say PROBIOTICS? Howzabout ENZYMES? Can someone give me an "AMEN"??
Born Oceanside, CA Sept. 1961.. Resided there til the age of 40. Detoured to Portland, OR for 2 years and then came to the MS Delta, "Home of the Blues" to seek out an opportunity to play the music I love in its land of origin.
Happily single; living in a giant circa 1895 house with 2 Black Lab rescues: "Terra" and "Luna".
| current weight: 189.2