BEVEENI   648
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This is me December 2011





December 2010





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All help and support welcome... eeekkk....

So I've probably half heartedly tried every diet there are in the books... and I have absolutely NO motivation... so... I'm here to help find other people who have tried everything but that are now making it work... so... please help... I need this... I need to lose weight... I need to like myself again... I'm a bubbly fun loving person who's kinda lost my way a little weight and self esteem wise lately... so... hopefully this site will help me to get back to being ME!!...

I used ...
So I've probably half heartedly tried every diet there are in the books... and I have absolutely NO motivation... so... I'm here to help find other people who have tried everything but that are now making it work... so... please help... I need this... I need to lose weight... I need to like myself again... I'm a bubbly fun loving person who's kinda lost my way a little weight and self esteem wise lately... so... hopefully this site will help me to get back to being ME!!...

I used to be so thin as a child... and through my teens I was bullied and began to put small amounts of weight on, I was never overly heavy as a teenager in fact I went the other way and lost too much... too much emotional rubbish from being bullied and feeling alone. I went to Uni and I kept the weight off... then I suffered a major trauma... I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and had a horrible few years with it... and the weight just started to pile on and by pile on I mean... lets see... in the space of maybe 10yrs I've put on probably 10stone!!! Thats insane!! And the problem now is... even though I know if I get the weight off I'll never put it back on because I can see what it was that caused me to put the weight on... I just cant seem to get it off to get to that happy place!! I want to do this for me... before I put the weight on and before the traumatic experience I was the loudest bubbliest most friendly excitable person around... everyone used to comment at how amazing I was as a person, always the center of the party and always the best person to talk to and confide in. Now... I'm so retreated into myself.. and I need to get that old B back... so... hopefully... this is it... I need to find the B inside of the Big B....

I'm told I may have an eating disorder... that confuses me...I was always led to believe that eating disorders were for those people who had a problem with food ... the problem with food being that the didn't like it, want it or feel they need it. So... here's my dilemma... I love food, I always want it... I always think about (almost obsess about it) ... and I always feel I need it even when I'm not hungry!! Food rules my life and I'm sick of letting it rule and ruin my life!! If its a compulsion and a disorder then so be it... but I need to find the steps to admit it, deal with it, recover from it and change my life forever!! Otherwise I'm doomed to always be unhappy and always wanting something different.

Soooo... all that said...

Here we go....
Read More About BEVEENI (Updated May 6)




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 current weight: 275.0 
 
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Member Since: 4/27/2011

SparkPoints: 648

Fitness Minutes: 1,065

My Goals:
Lose weight to get married and have children!!!...

Lose weight to feel good over the summer...

Lose weight to feel good about myself...

Build my confidence again...

Go to gym 3 times per week...

Stop eating night time junk food...

My Program:
Started going to gym...

Stopping eating take aways...

Stopping or cutting down on night time eating...

Personal Information:
I'm 33yrs old and from Northern Ireland... I work in Social Services section of the public arena... I have a gorgeous little Yorkie puppy named Archie (for those who knew me before my little Angel was stolen from me in September, so wherever she is I hope they are looking after her!!)... I love to sing and I love the outdoors... ask and you shall find...

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Member Comments:
SHRINK_U
6/18/2011 4:35:29 AM

Looks like you are doing an awesome job!!!



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SHRINK_U
5/11/2011 10:55:36 PM

Hello Beveeni! I saw you on the "30 somethings with 100 pounds to lose" forum. I just wanted to stop by your page and say hello. I hope you have a great week!



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FITMAY
5/6/2011 11:05:03 AM

emoticon Whatever it is you will conquer it!
Love,
May



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FITMAY
5/5/2011 10:43:50 PM

emoticon for your comment on my blog! I know exactly how it feels to begin... it looks like this is so big... there is no way but doubting you will ever conquer it... but you CAN do it... the first steps are the hardest... You made a decision! There is not going back now... This miracle is yours to live! You deserve it! You'll get there one choice at a time.... if you fall of the wagon... don't get discouraged.. just jump back up...
Let's do this together... lean on me whenever you need to... keep your prayers up... they do work...they always work!
I have added you as a friend; I hope you don't mind.

Much love and prayers of determination,
May
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SKINNYPOWELL1
5/5/2011 11:20:03 AM

Thanks so much for commenting on my 100-pound loss, it is so great to have the support and love of fellow sparkers. Best wishes in accomplishing all your goals. You have to look fear in the eye, and just go for it. Prove your fear wrong.
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