BELDAME   53,453
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...si autem secundum carnem vixeritis moriemini si autem Spiritu facta carnis mortificatis vivetis.

The North American Beldame (malificae veneficus sapiens)

Native to the chocolate regions of central Pennsylvania, the North American Beldame startles easily, and has been known to react violently to sudden and unnecessary intrusions. The Beldame has also been knows to slay its victims with its barbed tongue and rapier wit.
The Beldame responds well to 80's heavy metal, English confection, and information regarding the procurement of used books and period kitchen utensils. It ...
The North American Beldame (malificae veneficus sapiens)

Native to the chocolate regions of central Pennsylvania, the North American Beldame startles easily, and has been known to react violently to sudden and unnecessary intrusions. The Beldame has also been knows to slay its victims with its barbed tongue and rapier wit.
The Beldame responds well to 80's heavy metal, English confection, and information regarding the procurement of used books and period kitchen utensils. It also enjoys painfully dry humor and icy cold cans of Diet Coke. If you have none of these things to offer, please observe from a distance, and walk away quietly.
Read More About BELDAME (Updated March 4)


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Member Since: 3/22/2009

SparkPoints: 53,453

Fitness Minutes: 34,045

My Goals:
I want buff arms. I want people to look at my arms and go, "Damn, lookit them guns!" I want a flat stomach. I also want a Koenigsegg because they go 250 MPH, have push-button start and shoot FLAMES when they accelerate. I would settle, however, for a Mercedes SLK...or a 1979 Fiat X-19.

My Program:
Counting calories, because caloric deficits are my friend. Half an hour of strength training and half an hour of cardio at the gym at least thrice weekly; recumbant bike for half an hour plus free weights on off days.

Personal Information:
I am a misogynistic misanthropic anglophile. I like gardening, flea markets, writing, reading, and waxing my car (her name is Brunhilde, and I love her.)
Someday I am planning to get around to teaching myself to play the banjo.

Other Information:
I read everything. I like British comedy, esp. Ab Fab and Monty Python. I have a crush on Eddie Izzard in spite of his politics. My favorite show used to be the British "Top Gear" until BBCAmerica played it to death. Now my television of choice is Hannibal, Mountain Monsters, Hoarding: Buried Alive, reruns of Barney Miller, The Addams Family, and Bewitched. My favorite movies are Mommie Dearest, Jaws, Better Off Dead, 16 Candles, Uncle Buck, The Devil's Backbone, reruns of MST3K, etc. I like to do subversive cross-stitch projects.

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Member Comments:
TWEETYKC00
4/6/2014 11:04:10 AM

Congrats on being the SK Lovers team member of the week!



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MAW_OH
10/31/2013 8:16:04 AM

emoticon Team member of the week!



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MSGLOW
10/27/2013 5:55:15 PM

emoticon for being team member of the week emoticon



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PRUPLEBEAR
10/27/2013 10:36:36 AM

Congrats on SK Lovers team member of the week. LOVE the back ground page



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TWEETYKC00
10/27/2013 10:09:53 AM

Hey, congrats on being the Stephen King Lovers team member of the week!



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