this is a genuine birthday-present-opening surprised photo
just a little lunch in the most beautiful place on earth
I love this guy
I've been making weight-related goals for years, and if I've learned anything, I've learned they don't work. For me. So now I'm moving forward in a different light. My new goals will revolve around my mental energies, daily emotions, and attitudes toward food and people and life. For example, I'd like to feel good about food (it's really not the enemy!). I'd like to stay tuned in (instead of zoned out) when I eat. I'd like to grocery shop with the specific intention of cooking the food I'm buying. I'd like to talk nicely to myself when I'm eating healthy AND when I forget. I'd like to end the guilt. (Guilt! What a worthless, ineffective emotion!) I'd like to have more correspondence with my body (e.g. "hey, tummy, are you full?" "why, yes, I am, thanks for asking"). I'd like to stay active because it brings me joy (sweating really DOES feel good) and not because I want trimmer thighs.
With that said, I'd like to love myself regardless if I lose weight. As I accomplish the goals listed above, I need to accept their outcome: hopefully I'll be happy and slender, but one out of two wouldn't be bad, either.
I used to think that I needed to weigh a certain amount before the fellas would look at me. But now, after five years of wonderful marriage, I wonder: if he loves me so much, why can't I? I've gone through my early adulthood thinking I needed just one more thing before I was truly, fully happy: husband, travel, career, weight loss, etc. However, after checking off most of the list, I think I need to reevaluate. My life is good! Even if I don't lose a pound!
So here is happiness, right here, as I sit on my exercise ball, type these words, smell the aroma from the spinach-ricotta pie I have in the oven, and treat myself with a bit more kindness, respect, and love.
-to feel thankful continually
-to eat with joy and passion
-to forgive myself
-to have an idea of what I want to buy at the grocery store BEFORE I get there
-to love myself as I am
-to focus on meals
-to trust myself
Quit the obsession of calories! Food isn't numbers, food is flavors. I plan on recognizing when it's time to stop. I plan on skipping daily indulgences (which is an oxymoron, anyway)
I've been all around the world trying to find myself, but here I am, back in my home state, laughing good-naturedly at myself. Find myself? Haven't I been here, in my own body, all along?
I'm married to my favorite man on the planet. He knows good music inside and out, he's not afraid of chasing bears, and he tolerates my insanity! Oh, and he's cute, too.
Hello I'm Esther. I stopped by to introduce myself. I like to day hike also. I'm your team mate on both Let's Go Hiking and Yoga Lovers. Happy Holidays.
2730 days ago
One day at a time!! You can do it!!!
2795 days ago
So glad to add you to my friends. Hope you are continuing toward your goal with renewed enthusiasm! Happy holidays and great success!
3085 days ago
Bee how are you!? Haven't seen you post so just wanted to check in with you and ask if you needed some support.
3471 days ago
i also live in japan. and lettmetellya. i never know what i am putting into my body!!! i've lived here for almost a year and a half and can kinda read kana, so i can sometimes understand it... that is until they throw the kanji in!
we shall be lost together in the land of the rising sun.
3538 days ago