Hi there! As I've told you before, I'm not really on Spark anymore, but I still follow your blog and I've been thinking about you! I admire you for undergoing and sharing your experience with IVF. Even though I don't know from experience, I can feel your pain through your blog. I do know how frustrating it is to deal with fertility problems and I know how much you want this baby. I really hope that this IVF cycle is successful for you and that soon you'll have a healthy baby (or babies) in your arms!
And speaking of babies, twins aren't that bad :) I finally got pregnant after a few rounds of clomid and my twins (Maya and Ethan) were born one month ago! Twin pregnancy isn't easy, and they are a handful already, but they are such a blessing, I wouldn't change any of it!
Good luck with the rest of the treatment (I'm not sure how far along you are right now), stay positive (easier said than done I know) and take care of yourself!
When my Parents and FIL and two uncles died all in the same year (the same year I had a miscarriage) I was so angry - like insanely angry. I had a Facebook friend and I told him I was so mad at God and then I felt SO guilty for being mad. I wondered why was all of this happening. He reminded me that even Jesus questioned God at times - its human nature. I felt better because its true, in the Garden and on the cross Jesus did suffer so much and wondered why.
Remember that God loves you and is always with you :)
Oh, dear, your poor momma. It is SO hard to see our beloved children in pain and SO hard not to try and fix it for them (as illogical as that often is). I actively work at stepping back from my adult children (I still have my 10 year old to "over-mother" : ). I am surprised I have a tongue left after biting it so many times, when they have come to me with problems. I have a few go-to phrases now...."that sounds really difficult honey, but I know you have the ability to sort it out" or "I have a few concerns and I will tell you what they are but then you do what you want, because you are an adult". I am a work in progress. Maybe your momma is, too : )