10/07, I was doing the Tyra Banks turtle neck here, stick your neck out to look thinner.
What's that?? Cheek bones, a chin. (10/7/08) Almost 1 year to the day later.
Me & my Hubby Halloween 08
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Okay, I'm going to have to put all current goals on hold for at least a few weeks here's why:
Yesterday I had an appointment with my oncologist/hematologist, after my blood work they put me in a room to wait for Dr. Cripe, and his nurse Katie. (I saw Katie in the waiting room before my appointment, and she came over to give me a hug). When Dr. Cripe came into the room he commented on how good I looked, and Katie also said that I looked really good (they tricked me with these comments) Then Dr. Cripe asked me how I was feeling? I told him that I felt real good, just keeping general conversation up. He and Katie both sat down (RED FLAG!) and he said to me, “I want to show you these blood counts.” (RED FLAG) I looked down at the chart (it’s a chart of all of my blood work in chronological order) all of my counts were up UNTIL 11/6/08; currently my WBC is 3.1, my RBC is 3.8, and my platelet count is 83. I just nodded like I already knew this was coming.
He looked me straight in the eye and told me that he didn’t like what he was seeing. “This is very worrisome.” Was one of the quotes, and “We’re very, very, very concerned” was the other. He wants me to come back in two weeks to see if my counts come back up, if not then I will have to have another Bone Marrow Biopsy to see if the Leukemia is back. (Unfortunately I already know the answer to that question.) I went on to tell Dr. Cripe about finding the pinhead bleeds on my stomach, and gums last month, and that I almost passed out walking around the block the night before (several times). So I’ll go back on November 24th for my follow up blood work, and most likely a bone marrow biopsy, and then I’ll have to start back over from square one… By the way this was the appointment that he was supposed to tell me that I could start coming to see him every 4 months.
Of all days to leave out of the house without my cell phone… My husband was sleeping; my kids were at school, so I stopped by my mother’s house on my way home to kind of get that conversation out of the way. She wanted to know why I was there at 2:30 in the afternoon; I told her that I had a half a day because I had a Doctors appointment. Then she asked, “What’s wrong, what did they say.” I said, “Well, it wasn’t good.” And then went into the whole conversation with her. An hour or so later I left and went home to tell my husband. That did not go over well at all. He instantly started crying, his mother just passed two years ago from cancer. So I know that’s what he thinks of when he hears the words recurrence.
I’ve made my peace with it.
If it is, it is, and I will deal with it. I will try to make this experience (not a pleasant one) but not a horrible one for my family’s sake. At least going into this I kind of know what to expect. If you take the unknown out of the equation it’s not as scary. I’m not saying that I know exactly what’s going to happen, but I’ve been through this once before, so I know what to expect for the most part.
One things for sure, once I start treatment again. I will not be going back to work anytime soon. I will file for disability this time, and give my body time to heal. That way if I do get better I would have done something good for myself, but if I don’t get better I’ll have that much more time to spend with my children.
So that’s where I’m at today… I’ll know more in two weeks, and I’ll let you know when I know.
***The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God cannot protect you***
I would like to be at a healthy BMI, currently I am at 45.9 which is morbidly obese. So I need to lose over 100 lbs.
Update: BMI-42 4/11/08
Update: BMI 41.6 5/12/08
Update: BMI 41.1 7/31/08
Update: BMI 40.4 8/29/08
Update: BMI 39.7 9/11/08 Yea!! I'm under 40 BMI
Update: BMI 39.3 11/07/08
I have had cancer, so extreme weight is not good for me, and to be honest it's probably the reason I got cancer in the first place, according to all the research I've done on the subject. If you've never went through Chemo... trust me, you don't want to.
My mother has diabetes, as did my Grandmother and Uncle on my fathers side (both deceased due to complications from diabetes). So I just want to be healthy for myself and my family.
*Update: My 33 year old kid sister was just diagnosed with diabetes.
I'm following Spark guidlines for Calories, fat, carbs, protien. So Calories per day is between 1200-1550.
I have also cut meat almost completely out of my diet, I'll have an occasional hamburger, but mostly I have turkey once or twice per week. The rest is grain & veggi's.
I make sure to drink at least 8 glasses of water each day, and I'm taking Multi-Vitiams.
I also have kept a journal in regards to how I feel when I'm eating (I'm a huge stress eater), and how what I eat makes me feel.
My name is April. I am 36 years old, and am a wife and a mother to four children.
Self-Help book that I would recommend: The Creation Health Breakthrough, it is an amazing book. I have been looking for something like this since getting cancer, I believe in the plan this book has for achieving a more balanced life. Go to the library and check it out, it is well worth the read.
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| current weight: 188.0