~INDYGIRL   105,835
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Oct 2004: 460 pounds





230 Pounds Lost



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Life is happening now, not 10 pounds from now.

Beth Donovan's No Weight Loss Surgery
SparkPeople Story of Joy on a Journey:

Pounds lost total: 200 plus and counting

I don't have an abundance of will power, nor am I a mega strong person. I am definitely willful and strong-headed, but those aren't exactly the same things. I've tried my whole life to lose weight, yet I gained 100 pounds every decade topping out in my 40's at 460 pounds. The diet clinics love me. I have a lifetime membership to one. Others ...
Beth Donovan's No Weight Loss Surgery
SparkPeople Story of Joy on a Journey:

Pounds lost total: 200 plus and counting

I don't have an abundance of will power, nor am I a mega strong person. I am definitely willful and strong-headed, but those aren't exactly the same things. I've tried my whole life to lose weight, yet I gained 100 pounds every decade topping out in my 40's at 460 pounds. The diet clinics love me. I have a lifetime membership to one. Others caught me for 2-3 go rounds, while a major one caught me for over ten.

I will burn with brilliant passion and perfectionism at first, but a slip up meant to me that I was a bad person and I had failed. This perfectionistic outlook led to bulimia in my teens and 20's. While it kept my weight somewhat in check, it made me miserable. I had to be perfect period. My goal? Unrealistic. I wanted to be a size 5/6. I was never meant for that. I was meant to be much smaller than the 460 pounds I arrived at in my late 30's, however.

I have low thyroid (slowed metabolism), fibromyalgia, a degenerating spine, herniated discs, pinched nerve bundles, arthritis, knees needing replacements, and clinical major depression--and the list continues. For several years, the pain and depression were too much for me. It's hard enough to be motivated when you have severe pain, but depression with it was completely crippling, leaving me bedridden and wheelchair bound. I resigned myself to life in my bedroom, where lying down hurt less. Really I was practicing avoidance. I didn't have to deal with the snickers, stares, comments, or pictures being taken of me with camera phones. I also no longer had to deal with the crippling pain as long as I was in bed. In staying home alone, I missed human interaction so badly that I would call the crisis line crying.

My husband became a caretaker. When I say that it makes me cringe. He had to help me in all aspects. He is still my caretaker, as I am still disabled by my illnesses after losing so much weight, but it has made thing more manageable. By staying in bed and not moving and allowing my husband to take care of everything for me, I was perpetuating my own unhealthy lifestyle and losing the chance to walk, shop, work... I remember giving up my choices. That's actually what living an unhealthy life is about.

I chose for myself not to have weight loss surgery because it is stomach surgery, not brain surgery. I am an emotional eater. When I went to the classes to prepare for possible surgery, I realized that most people there still had the same mindset- they were hungry. They complained about wanting to continue to eat after being full, craving things they knew were unhealthy choices, and not wanting to exercise. I was already at that point. That's when I told myself that having my stomach cut open wouldn't fix my particular problem. According to my best friend who had her life saved by the surgery, "If you have to ask the question of when you can eat normally again... the answer is never." Your whole lifestyle has to change after surgery, just as it does without surgery. I am for surgery as a last resort.

I fired my medical teams who all thought that being overweight was the sole source of my pain and problems. WHAT was causing the pain? It was severe! I couldn't move. When I finally got it diagnosed by somebody that listened, I had herniated disks, slipped disks, bulging disks, pinched nerves, spinal stenosis, degenerative disease, arthritis, fibromyalgia,2 knees needing replaced because they are bone on bone, shoulders both needing surgery and the list goes on with metabolic and depression issues. My doctor prescibed in home physical therapy because I was in too much pain to leave the house and frankly, too big to move.

I started my first movement with lifting shampoo bottles in bed and rolling my ankles, followed by just lifting my legs from a sitting position off the side of the bed. It didn't seem like much to me, in fact it hurt a lot, but it seemed useless at the same time. What were these small movements going to accomplish? I wanted to walk again! My PT instructor told me that every move strengthend me for my next. It did. Soon I was standing from a seated position and doing small steps and yoga in bed. I used an arm-bike for cardio. Eventually I was able to walk again.

My first decision in eating better was to remove the growth hormones from my plan. I started buying organic milk and eventually orgainic meat. I eat more naturally now, less processed because it aggrivates your hunger hormones less and keeps you full and feeling well. I also started watching portions, but there are tips and tricks to both of these things.

The most important tool I had was support. An eating plan WILL WORK IF you are in THE RIGHT MINDSET.

If you would like to get to know me better or like my blogs, you might like Team ~IndyGirl http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
individual.asp?gid=50783

Beth Donovan

Read More About ~INDYGIRL (Updated March 5)


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 current weight: 244.0 
 
460
392.5
325
257.5
190


 
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Member Since: 1/18/2008

SparkPoints: 105,835

Fitness Minutes: 62,816

My Goals:
Reach 190 by Dec 31, 2015

Grow a Career




My Program:
Organic meats and dairy
Plenty of fruits and veg. And whole grains, and healthy fats

Eat Cleaner-
More Whole Foods
Less Processed Foods
Portion Control
Supplement Therapy
Water Yoga
Recumbent Cross Train

New Path Thinking

Personal Information:
Beth Donovan
Fishers, Indiana



Other Information:
Looking for friends in the Fishers/ Noblesville/ Carmel/ Westfield/ Northern Indianapolis area


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Member Comments:
1CRAZYDOG
3/6/2015 6:59:59 AM

;♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*΄¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*΄¨ )♥~*-: -*♥
“Life has more meaning when our goal is fulfillment rather that gratification.” Gail Lynne Goodwin
;♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*΄¨ )♥~*-:¦:-*♥~.•*΄¨ )♥~*-: -*♥




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DIANESKATZ
3/5/2015 8:38:34 PM

The Gift Of Friendship

Friendship is a priceless gift
That cannot be bought or sold,
But its value is far greater
Than a mountain made of gold -
For gold is cold and lifeless,
It can neither see nor hear,
And in the time of trouble
It is powerless to cheer
It has no ears to listen,
No heart to understand,
It cannot bring you comfort
Or reach out a helping hand -
So when you ask God for a Gift,
Be thankful if He sends
Nor diamonds, pearls or riches,
But the love of real true friends.

Helen Steiner Rice



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JENNY888
3/5/2015 4:49:15 PM

Beth, you and your husband both have my prayers. You are really going through a difficult time but I know you will be able to get through it and move on. You are much appreciated here on Spark.



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LESLIE2561
3/5/2015 2:51:47 PM

I am so sorry to hear about all the medical problems you and your husband are going through. I will definitely keep you both in prayer. I know this sounds kind of callus, but hearing about how many hard ships you are dealing with encourages me to get up and do something. This past year I have been feeling sorry for myself and slacking on exercising because I am dealing with degenerative disc disease on top of my chronic migraines and feel it is just not worth the effort. But then I hear about what you are dealing with and how you have overcome even more and harder obstacles and I feel that I CAN do this, even if I do have to do it slower that I would like to. I will start over with you this Friday and I am committing to at least try my best to reach my goal this next year. emoticon



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ICECUB
3/5/2015 11:10:53 AM

KEEPING YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND IN MY PRAYERS.



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