WILDANGEL72   8,400
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Queen Cleopatra (Cleo for short): 6 whole pounds of "I am the furry boss of you."



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I Just Wanna Be Okay...

I struggled with my weight literally my entire life, then managed to take off just over 100 lbs. in my mid 20s using the SB diet. It was the only thing that ever worked, and I couldn't believe I was a "normal" size. I kept it off for almost 8 years, then I quit smoking, bought my first house, and experienced two devastating tragedies in my personal life--all in a few months. I didn't realize I had turned to food for comfort till one day I couldn't even get my "fat jeans" zipped. It dawned ...
I struggled with my weight literally my entire life, then managed to take off just over 100 lbs. in my mid 20s using the SB diet. It was the only thing that ever worked, and I couldn't believe I was a "normal" size. I kept it off for almost 8 years, then I quit smoking, bought my first house, and experienced two devastating tragedies in my personal life--all in a few months. I didn't realize I had turned to food for comfort till one day I couldn't even get my "fat jeans" zipped. It dawned on me that I'd been reaching for my looser clothes for a while, and I stepped on the scale. The number I saw felt like a physical blow to the chest. Now I felt like a grieving, nicotine-deprived, devastated, unattractive failure. The stress and my weight spiraled out of control and I put back on 50 of the 100 lbs I'd lost. Enough was enough, and I decided it was time to regain control. If I could lose it once and keep it off that long, I could do it again. I went back to SB, but it's been slower going this time. I'm not in Kansas or my 20s anymore.

I happened across a magazine article that mentioned SparkPeople in passing. For some reason it caught my attention, and on December 4th I started using the tools on the site to help me get back to a better and healthier place. I've determined that my main goal has to be better health; if I lose weight in the process, great--but I can't let the weight be my primary focus at first, because if I don't lose quickly enough I might get discouraged and give up. I also tend to get obsessed with the scale and derail myself with too many weigh-ins. So for now, just better and healthier lifestyle choices are the goal.

I can't change the things that have happened in my life, and I can't go back and ungain those 50 lbs. I can't turn back the clock and be back in my 20s again when I felt vibrant and attractive and energetic. What I can do is savor the good times I had during that time of my life, and take control of the chapter I'm writing now--so I can have new good times, and learn to love myself and the life I've been given at every stage, in every circumstance. Young, wild, and free was fun while it lasted, but it's time to make the most of the place I'm in now. Since I can't go back, I'm determined to move forward and enjoy being older, wiser, and hopefully better. Even though they're half over, I might make the 30s my best decade yet. I'll never know if I don't try, and I've already lost too much precious time.

I already know the road is going to be long and bumpy, but I'd rather take that trip than sit on the sidelines and regret it as life passes me by. There are so many times in life when we are powerless, but my weight and my food are things that I can control, and I'm ready to take that power back a little at a time.
Read More About WILDANGEL72 (Updated December 5)




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Member Since: 12/3/2012

SparkPoints: 8,400

Fitness Minutes: 2,748

My Goals:
I work as an RN on the graveyard shift, and fitting healthy eating and exercise habits around 12-hour night shifts has been a real challenge. So right now I'm trying different things to see what works.

My Program:
Since the science behind the South Beach Diet is sound, and I know it worked before, I'm going that route again--and trying to make myself drink those 8 glasses of water every day. On South Beach I never felt deprived, and I actually ate more food than when I was heavy and eating the wrong foods. It's a challenge this time because my schedule is different, but I'm learning to adapt around my work and sleep habits.

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Member Comments:
DR_NIC
3/23/2014 9:22:46 AM

Hope you have a good weekend at the hospital. This weekend is my first off in about two weeks. The important thing is not to lose hope - you will be able to do this. Here's hoping the Metformin help.



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DECLARE74
2/11/2014 7:57:48 PM

Hi Gorgeous - glad to see you are still Sparking along xx Hope all is well and you are smiling - your friend in NZ, Deb



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NOMADNURSE7
2/2/2014 3:01:02 AM

Hey there, I saw your post on Night Shift Nurses and wanted to say hi :) I'm a full time nigth shifter too and work in the NICU but ER and trauma are my first loves. I'm looking for a new job soon because I'm getting married and moving and I hope to get in an ER. Hope things are going well for you!



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MICHIGANLORI
12/31/2013 8:55:19 AM

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Wishing you a Healthy and Happy New Year!

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DECLARE74
12/31/2013 6:16:40 AM

Happy New Year my fellow Sparker - may the year see you happy and healthy, and may every dawn bring light and love, and every dusk bring hope of tomorrow being even better than today xx





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